Riley’s smile broadened at the memory.
She saw that Bill’s smile widened as well.
Is he remembering that moment too?
She wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. Like an old married couple,they often found themselves thinking the same things and finishing each other’ssentences.
She and Bill had worked together as partners for years. They hadrescued each other from monsters, helped each other through terrible times, andeven survived her one clumsy drunken pass at him back when he’d still beenmarried.
They had also seen each other through divorces and, in his case,the almost complete loss of contact with his boys when his ex-wife moved awayand remarried. He knew a lot about her off and on struggles with Ryan, herdivorce, and even her recent affair with Blaine.
They just hadn’t seen much of each other since finishing thatcase. They hadn’t had a chance to talk things out.
Bill had visited Riley at home a couple of times, and they’dtalked on the phone a little. They hadn’t mentioned that kiss to each other,but of course Riley had been thinking about it the whole time, and she knewperfectly well that Bill had too.
And now here they were, on their first real date.
And like all first dates, it was fraught with all kinds ofpossibilities and uncertainties.
Finally Bill shook his head. “Riley, we’ve got some things wereally need to work out.”
Riley realized she was holding her breath, unsure what to expectnext.
“I care about you very much,” Bill said. “I know you feel thesame way about me. And I guess it’s … only natural that our relationship would… you know …”
Riley squeezed his hand and chuckled.
“Evolve?” she said.
Bill chuckled as well.
“Yeah, evolve. It’s natural, and it’s … wonderful. And I don’twant it to stop.”
“I feel the same way,” Riley said.
Bill shrugged and shifted in his seat.
“But I worry about … things,” he said. “I mean, what will thismean to us as partners?”
Riley sighed. “I wish I knew. Of course the FBI doesn’t have anyhard and fast rules against … well, fraternization.”
“I know,” Bill said. “But that doesn’t mean it’s going to beeasy. I can think of one guy who’ll want to make it as hard for us as possible.”
Riley nodded. She knew exactly who Bill meant. Rules or no rules,Special Agent in Charge Carl Walder didn’t approve of agents having romanticrelationships while working together. In fact, Walder was pretty muchdisapproving of anything agents did unless it made Walder look good.
Worse, Walder harbored a violent dislike for Riley. He’dsuspended and even fired her more than once. If Riley and Bill got openlyinvolved, Walder would doubtless find all kinds of new ways to make their livesmiserable. At the very least by refusing to let them work together, butpossibly even relocating one of them to some distant field office.
Bill squinted thoughtfully for a moment.
He said, “I also worry about—well, stepping into your life, Iguess, and bringing all my baggage with me. I mean, you’ve got a family, and I’vegot …”
Bill shook his head sadly.
“Well, you know what I’ve got,” he said. “Too much of nothing.For one thing, I’ve been through a nasty divorce.”
“So have I,” Riley said.
“Yeah, but your ex-spouse didn’t take your kids away.”
With a deep pang of sympathy, Riley squeezed his hand again.
“I know,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
Bill’s voice thickened a little.
“But you—well, you’ve got a family. Do you want me to be part ofit?”
Riley was about to say of course she did, but Bill interrupted.
“Please, don’t answer that question without really thinking aboutit.”
Riley nodded sadly.
It really was a good question, and it reminded Riley of how richand loving her home life really was. She had two daughters and a live-inhousekeeper who was much, much more than just an employee.
Is there room for anybody else? she wondered.
She’d tried to make room for two different men, and it hadn’tworked out well. When her ex-husband, Ryan, had come around pleading foranother chance with her, she’d let him move in for a while. He’d let her andthe girls down, of course, which had left her feeling stupid for expectinganything else from him. The last time he’d come back, she’d sent him away quitefirmly.
At first, everything had seemed to go smoothly with BlaineHildreth, the charming restaurateur Riley had been involved with. He was asingle parent with one daughter April’s age. At one point Blaine had evenplanned to expand his own house so they could all move in together.
But the dangers of Riley’s life had finally proven to be morethan Blaine could deal with.
Even though she couldn’t really blame him, Riley was stillstinging inwardly from his final rejection. It had left her feeling bitter anddisappointed. She’d found herself wondering—would there ever be a man in herlife she could fully trust and depend on?
But at this moment, that seemed like a stupid question.
She was looking at that very man right now.
She and Bill had had their quarrels and disagreements and ups anddowns. But in the end, they’d always been able to trust each other with theirvery lives.
What more could I want from a relationship? she wondered.
Maybe that was exactly the problem.
She stammered, trying to find words for what she wanted to say.
“Bill, I … I feel like you know me better than anybody else everhas. Better than Ryan, even. You’ve seen me at my worst as well as at my best.You’ve pulled me out of the depths of … well, drunkenness, despair, self-pity,failure …”
Bill shook his head. “Well, you’ve gotten me through worse thanthat.”
Riley shuddered a little. She knew all too well what Bill wastalking about.
And she remembered vividly the text message Bill had sent herwhen she’d been working on a case last spring …
Been sitting here with a gun in my mouth.
Jenn had covered for Riley’s absence so she could rush to Bill’sapartment in Quantico. If she hadn’t gotten there to help him, she still didn’tknow what might have happened.
But she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Their friendship hadbeen built as much on awful moments
