But I kept thinking about last year, and the year before that, and how being near you was this everyday thing I took completely for granted. And we don’t get to go back. We don’t get to do high school again. And, yeah, I knew that intellectually, but I don’t think I fully processed it until now. I guess being on a literal express train away from you really made it sink in.
So now I’m back in my room with Kellan and his friend Grover (no REALLY), who has a guitar, and can sing, and is currently playing “Hey There Delilah” for the twentieth time. I think he’s trying to teach it to himself. I feel like I should be annoyed, but I’m just so drained. And now that song’s stuck in my head, and Bram, I don’t know if you know the lyrics to that one, but it’s like . . . too freaking relevant. So now I feel like crying again, but I don’t want to do that in front of a bunch of random straight dudes. Maybe I’m not cut out for this whole roommate thing. Like, I want to know who thought it was a good idea to stick a random guy in my room and have him live there.
But mark my words, Greenfeld: We’re going to be Kellan-free for fall break. I will make it my life’s fucking mission.
Twelve more days. God, I miss you. And I love you. I’m, like, preposterously in love with you.
Love,
Simon
FROM: ABBYSUSO710@GMAIL.COM
TO: SIMONIRVINSPIER@GMAIL.COM
DATE: SEP 30 AT 11:21 PM
SUBJECT: RE: A QUESTION
I’ve got to say, that’s the weirdest fucking question you’ve ever asked me (AND I LOVE IT). So let’s make sure I’m following this. You want your roommate to leave early for fall break. And for that to happen, you need me (me!) to come up with a list of, and I quote, “clown-centered DC attractions”? WELL THEN.
First of all, Simon, are we sure clown-centered is a thing? Because it looks like we just found a hot new contender for Most Cursed Adjective (you had a good run, moist). Seriously, though, what does that even mean? Clown-centered? Is that a metaphor? Are we talking about GOP senators, or do you mean literal, actual clowns? And if so, WTF?? Do you just really hate your roommate? I have SO MANY QUESTIONS.
But yeah! Happy to see if Molly and Cassie have heard of anything . . . clown-centered. They’re at University of Maryland now, though, which is outside the city. Is that okay, or do you need it to be in DC proper? (Seriously, I am DYING to know what your roommate did to deserve this.) Anyway, texting M and C in a sec, and I’ll report back!
So, other than scheming against your roommate, what on earth are you up to? And how was New York? Leah and I actually heard from Nick this morning, by the way. Can you believe it?? He wanted to know if we’re coming home this weekend (we are, for what it’s worth, in case you were maaaaaybe considering coming down early?).
Anyway, Nick said he talked to Bram, and he got the impression that you two are kind of struggling with the long-distance stuff, I guess? I don’t want to overstep or anything, but I did want to make sure you’re okay. You always seem so cheerful with me, and that’s great, seriously. But I hope you know I’m here if you ever want to talk through the hard stuff. And same with Leah. We both love you so much, Si.
(And in happier Bram news, tell him congrats from me on the game!!)
Anyway, write back soon so I can start sorting through all your clown shit!! MISS YOU!!!
xoxo
Abby
FROM: SIMONIRVINSPIER@GMAIL.COM
TO: ABBYSUSO710@GMAIL.COM
DATE: OCT 1 AT 10:16 AM
SUBJECT: RE: A QUESTION
Clown-centered attractions are totally a thing!! I’m thinking circuses, funhouses, clown museums (I feel like clown museums exist, probably?). Anyway, GREAT question, but nope, not a metaphor. And DC suburbs are fine—I think Kellan’s parents actually live in the suburbs, now that you mention it. And by the way, I don’t hate Kellan!! But he says he’s hanging around campus the first part of fall break, and I need him to GTFO and go home early to be with his clowns. He likes clowns. A lot. (Anyway, tell Molly and Cassie thank you from me!)
So, Bram and me.
First of all, Abby, you’re not overstepping! I’m sorry I haven’t been more open about stuff. I just feel so weird about the whole thing. I guess I didn’t expect it to be this hard. Which is probably really naive of me? But the thing is, so many couples do this! All the time! And in the grand scheme of things, New York to Philly is nothing. Like, we’re so fucking lucky. I got him a week ago, and I get him back on Friday, and Abby, I don’t know why this is so unbearable. I just miss him so much.
Anyway, I love you, and thank you, and hug Leah for me, okay? I mean you’re probably already hugging RIGHT THIS SECOND, aren’t you (is “hugging” a euphemism? I don’t know, you tell me!).
Miss you too, Abby Suso. ♥
Love,
Simon
FROM: LEAHONTHEOFFBEAT@GMAIL.COM
TO: ABBYSUSO710@GMAIL.COM
DATE: OCT 7 AT 1:12 AM
SUBJECT: RE:
