“Stop it.” I swat at his hand. He knows I hate it when he treats me like I’m twelve. In his mind, a three-year age gap makes him so much wiser.
“Be ready at quarter `til,” he says as he moves to the door. “I’d hate to have to bang on the door and wake up the entire hall.”
“God, you’re obnoxious,” I say, but he’s already gone.
I get up and shower, hoping it washes away some of the lingering sadness along with the cracker crumbs. Back in my room, I look around it with fresh eyes and cringe. Ava’s side is organized and decorated with bright colors and then there’s my side. Even I can admit it looks a little depressing. Okay, a lot. White concrete walls, gray bed frame, and desk. The only color is my pale-yellow comforter.
After I’m dressed, I finally unpack. I didn’t bring a lot of personal items because so many of them reminded me of Bryan. I fill the closet with my clothes and shoes, organize all of my school stuff on the desk, and I tape up a few pictures of my family and friends from high school on the wall.
Standing back, I survey the results. It’s a start, and I feel a little more ready to face the world tomorrow. I flip on the small bedside light and crawl under the covers to sleep. I pick up my phone out of habit. Nothing good ever happens from scrolling your phone after midnight.
All of my friends from high school are posting selfies and tours of their new college dorms. There’s Bryan, handsome as ever, in blue and orange. The college campus is in the background and he’s lined up beside a group of big guys I assume are other football players based on their size. They hold beers and smile looking at the camera. He’s obviously having no problem enjoying college without me.
That same handsome face I’ve known my whole life. We were neighbors, childhood friends, and then high school sweethearts. I close my eyes and the last conversation I had with him replays in my mind.
“I don’t understand. What do you mean you’re not going to Valley? We’re supposed to leave in three days.” We lie on my bed and I’m still in that post-sex high, so it takes me a few seconds to realize he’s serious.
His heavy weight on top of me suddenly feels claustrophobic. “I got a call from the coach at Boise State. One of their incoming freshmen got into a car accident. He’s out all year, maybe longer.”
“But we’ve been planning on going to college together for two years, and Idaho is like… a long way from Arizona. How is this going to work?”
He hesitates and runs a hand over his jaw while he studies me with an embarrassed look on his face.
“Oh my god. You’re not just telling me you’re going to Boise; you’re ending this?” I motion between us.
“I don’t think it would be fair to either of us to go to college with unrealistic expectations. You said it yourself, Idaho is a long way from Arizona. When we come back for holidays or summer vacations, we can pick up where we left off. You’ll always be my perfect girl, Ginny.” His gaze drops from my face to my cleavage and continues doing a long sweep of my naked body. The least a guy can do is avoid staring at your boobs while he breaks up with you. Or pull out. “But, I think we should give ourselves the freedom to explore and have fun while we’re apart.”
“Why would you break up with the perfect girl? That doesn’t make any sense,” I mutter quietly to the room, swiping a rogue tear. I didn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry then and I’m not going to let him ruin my first day of college tomorrow.
I force a smile as I reimagine all the amazing things college will bring without Bryan. For starters, I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to. I can be absolutely selfish with my time. Truthfully, I have no idea what that looks like anymore, but I’m ready to find out.
I put in my earbuds, hit play, and fall asleep with Beyoncé on repeat.
The next morning, Ava and I get ready for classes. She’s got the TV hooked up and Vampire Diaries season one, episode one playing. Feels right somehow. The first season of everything starting today.
Our room finally looks like two excited freshmen live here. Ava’s side is a little more personalized, photos of her and Trent, her boyfriend, take up most of the wall above her bed.
My roommate is in a serious relationship with her high school boyfriend, who is going to college upstate. It was something else we’d shared when we first connected over the summer, being in serious relationships. They don’t seem concerned about the distance, although it’s not nearly as far as Idaho.
Ava’s been on the phone or texting him the better part of the last week since we moved in. She’s nice and I think we’ll be great roommates. I guess since she’s in a relationship, at least I won’t have to worry about her bringing random guys back to the dorm. Because I’ll be starting college single and not exactly thrilled about the opposite sex, it’ll be nice not to worry about that.
“Do you want to come to breakfast with us?” I ask as I’m preparing to leave.
“No thanks.” She shakes her head, making her short, black hair toss around her heart-shaped face. “I’m going to video chat with Trent on our way to our first classes.”
A little pang of jealousy hits me, but I push it aside and head downstairs to meet Adam. Excited energy floats in the air. Blue and yellow banners hang on the front of the dorms welcoming us to the new school year.
Students are already out in
