Emma’s heart skipped a beat happily, new hope surging to the surface before she forced it back down with an iron will. “Even if ye’re right, it willna change what is. He doesna care for me, and I’d do well to accept that. Perhaps then I’ll be able to begin a life of my own.” Her gaze drifted to where Niall and Blair were playing with the castle’s hounds. A sigh escaped her, and a different longing came to her heart.
“Ye will be a mother,” Maggie whispered beside her, “but it will dampen yer happiness if ye choose the wrong father. Believe me.”
Emma’s brows drew down as she turned to look at her friend.
Always cheerful and laughing, Maggie often seemed like a force of nature despite her small stature and slender figure. She seemed one with the ground she walked on, at peace and calm, like someone born of this earth. With a gentle hand, she guided her children through life, giving them the freedom they needed to discover who they were but always holding a protective hand over their heads when needed. Whatever Maggie did, she did with a calm confidence that had always inspired awe in Emma.
And yet, her friend was not truly happy, was she?
“No marriage is perfect,” Maggie continued, the slight tension in her jaw telling Emma that she was well aware of her friend’s scrutiny. “Even a great love can be lost, just as a match of convenience can turn into something far deeper.” She sighed and finally met Emma’s gaze. “There’s no telling what the future will bring. All we can do is our best and be honest with ourselves. Sometimes we make a wrong decision. It happens.” Her blue eyes wide, Maggie stepped forward and grasped Emma’s hands. “But sometimes a wrong decision can be avoided. Believe me, there’s nothing worse…than regret.”
Staring into Maggie’s eyes, seeing the slight mist that clung to her lashes, Emma swallowed, realising for the first time how deeply unhappy Maggie was in her marriage. “Is Ian-?”
Clearing her throat, Maggie suddenly stepped back. “Ian is a good man and a good father,” she rushed to say before Emma could ask a question that might unhinge the balance of the life she had made for herself at Seann Dachaigh Tower.
But not a good husband, Emma added in her mind. At least not the one yer heart wants.
Although Emma would have wanted nothing more than to ask about the mysterious man who had stolen Maggie’s heart at some point in her life, she did not for the look in her friend’s eyes told her how affected her heart still was. Emma knew exactly how it felt to yearn for a man for years and never have one’s heart see reason and abandon its quest.
“Ye at least,” Maggie suddenly said, “can still choose. Once ye have, there is no going back.” A desperate plea rested in Maggie’s blue eyes.
Emma sighed, not wishing to hurt her friend. “I know what ye say is true, but ‘tis not only my choice. What I want doesna matter if he doesna also want the same.”
“But ye dunno know what he wants unless ye speak to him.”
Emma scoffed as the exhaustion of years wasted slowly caught up with her. “I dunno know? Truly? Ye’ve seen the way he glares at me, and ye truly think that there’s a chance.” Emma shook her head, knowing only too well the pain false hope could bring. “No, it’ll be better for me to forget about him and…seek happiness elsewhere.”
“Elsewhere?” Maggie asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Ye mean Vaughn?”
Emma tensed. “How−?”
“I’ve seen the way he looks at ye,” Maggie interrupted, the look in her eyes still one of disapproval. “He’s a good man, decent and kind and respectful, but he’s not the man for ye.”
“Why?” Emma frowned. “Do I not deserve such a man?”
“Of course, ye do.” Sighing, Maggie reached out to grasp Emma’s hand once more, the look in her eyes one of motherly indulgence, as though Emma was an unruly child unwilling to see reason. “But he deserves more.”
Snatching back her hand, Emma stared at her friend. “D’ye not think me good enough for him?”
Maggie chuckled, “Dunno act like a child. I meant no such thing and ye know it. But d’ye not agree that Vaughn deserves a wife who can love him? Does he not deserve a wife whose heart doesna belong to another man?”
Sobering, Emma felt her shoulders slump as one by one every path led her to nothing but heartbreak. “Aye,” she finally said. “He does deserve that.” Swallowing, she looked up at Maggie. “But perhaps over time, he will conquer my heart. Perhaps…”
The look in Maggie’s eyes clearly stated that she disagreed. “Ye must do what ye think right. I canna make that decision for ye. All I can do is ask ye to think about the consequences of yer decision. Think wisely for the day may come that ye wish ye had.”
Emma nodded, knowing that Maggie was right. Still, every once in a while, Emma wished she could throw caution to the wind and act on impulse alone…simply to have it over with. For years now, she’d been wracking her mind, her heart, every fibre of her being about what to do and what path to choose, and she was still as torn as she had been years earlier. Would the rest of her life look like this? Trapped between what her heart desired and what her mind deemed right? Would these two never walk hand in hand?
“Speak to him,” Maggie urged once more. “What do ye have to lose?”
Closing her eyes, Emma drew in a shaking breath. Indeed, what did she have to lose? Her heart? Her mind? Her sanity? If Finn rejected her outright, if he laughed in her face, if he told her she was the most awful woman he had ever met, would she be able to recover? Would she ever be happy again?
Are ye now?
