I would be lying if I said I didn't want it.
It was easy to keep my mind off of her most hours of the day, but at night, regardless if I was with another woman or not, I would compare her to that one woman, Emma. She saw right through me, saw what I was and even reluctantly gave me chance after chance when I sure didn't deserve it. I took advantage of her weakness and her desire for me, while not having that feeling in return, until it was too late. Emma was gold when I didn’t amount to aluminum.
Honestly, this realization came to me when I watched her walk down the aisle in Wyatt’s and Breigh’s wedding. When I saw her in her bridesmaid’s dress, it felt like a bear was standing on my chest suffocating me, not wanting to relent.
I wouldn't have dared to say anything to my brother, his wife, or Emma that night regarding my feelings.
She was the one. But it was too late. I recognized that every time I tried to call her, see her, or think of her.
A spade was a spade after all.
There was no way I would admit the one woman I had ever loved was so far out of my reach, I couldn't earn her if my life depended on it.
The anxiousness overwhelmed me, and the truth hit me like a brick in the forehead. “I better get going.” I sat up and she moved her shocked head. I probably should have called her by name but it was escaping me.
“Already?” She paused, irritated with me. “Wow, okay…”
I pulled on my jeans, and slipped on my shirt, buttoning up.
“You have been a completely different person since after the concert. Did I do something? At dinner, we were having a great time and then it was like you flipped a switch.”
She moved toward the edge of the bed, on white sheets I would’ve never picked. Not to mention they were cheap ones, the scratchy kind that form the annoying little balls. She was on her knees with a look of desperation, honestly pathetic, and I wanted to laugh. I thought better of it though.
I put my hands on my hips and knew the answer to her question was not going to be the answer she wanted, but I didn't care.
I cleared my throat. “You’re right, I saw someone tonight at the concert.”
She rolled her eyes. “That’s not unexpected…I saw a few of my friends too.”
“I saw a woman, the only woman I have… anyway… doesn't matter… you’re right, something was up after the concert.”
“Cash, you’re a prick. You just made love to me and you used me. Get the hell out!”
I bent down to pull my Lucchese boots on and shook my head. I then made eye contact and had no shame in what I was going to say. Her blonde hair was falling over her right eye, and she let it sit there. “Sweetheart, you might live in a fantasy world but I don’t.” I paused. “At any time tonight did I say this was going to be anything more than tonight?”
“You are a real piece of…” she muttered with anger-filled, green snake eyes. Eyes that looked deceiving probably like mine, not trustworthy or sincere. She was mad, but she was the male equivalent of what I was.
“You’re angry at yourself, not me. It’s not my fault you brought me to your bed. Did I ask you to?”
She reached out to slap me, but I moved back.
I had been slapped a few times in my life. She needed to move a little faster to make a connection to my cheek.
She was speechless, and I should have worried I hurt her feelings, but I didn’t.
Not her or the many others.
Except the one brunette I needed and wanted.
2
EMMA
“Aaron actually thought because he took me to a concert that I would jump in bed with him.”
I laughed and Breigh followed suit.
“Was Cody Johnson as good this time as he was at Luckenbach?”
I shook my head yes with enthusiasm then fixed my messy bun that had become loose. “He was so good,” I commented. “He gets better every time I see him!”
I was wearing my Lulu Lemon shorts after just having an intense workout. It was warm in here, and I was glad I opted for a pair of my shorts, instead of leggings. Breigh wore leggings, mostly because she loved her pockets. We were both wearing workout shirts, mine sleeveless, hers loose fitting since she was still self-conscience from her post pregnancy weight.
I think our wardrobes spoke a lot about our personalities. She was always a little worried about what others thought, always played it safe. I, on the other hand, didn’t care what others thought, and had enough confidence, I could lend her some and still have plenty left over. Most of the time anyway.
“I’m so thankful I don't have to date any longer. I don’t think I could handle it,” she said in between blowing on her coffee.
We sat in our coffee shop, Maxwell’s, sipping on our normal. Breigh, my best friend since age thirteen, too long, had just dropped off her daughter, Olivia, at Mother’s Day Out, which consisted of three hours of free time for us.
Well… that was when she actually met me. She utilized that time to normally nap or clean the house. I insisted today though she spend time with me.
“If only Aaron would have known you years ago.”
“Or a year ago?” I said.
“You’ve grown a lot in the last couple years… from Cash to…”
“Don’t you even mention his name!” I growled at her.
“Still not over him then?” She stated with an eye roll.
“I am over him. I just hate to hear his name.”
“Does he still call you?”
“Yep, more than I expect, actually. I feel for him, but I also loathe him. Is that even possible?”
“Of course it’s possible.”
Breigh had always understood how I wanted my soul
