They were walking to the outer gardens when she first saw Eris, clasping hands with her friends and running to the park. Alina twisted her waist until her dress swayed, her feet aching to run with them. They had flowers in their hair instead of ribbons, but her dress looked like their dresses. If she could catch them, she might blend in.
“May I play with the girls at the park?” she asked Jade.
Jade hesitated; her jet-black eyebrows pinned together over her dark eyes. She started to shake her head, then noticed Alina’s face and sighed. “All right. I will be at our usual spot, near the fountain, when you want to find me.”
Alina grinned and took off skipping, but as she approached the girls a knot formed in her stomach. She feared them almost as much as she longed to giggle and run with them.
She chewed on her lip, hoping they would see her and invite her in. Eris was the prettiest, with her long, flowing red hair, but her friend with the ebony skin had the prettiest dress. Alina waited on the edge of the park until one of them noticed her.
“Hey!” the girl called out. “Do you want to play?”
Alina beamed and started towards them. The others stopped to watch.
“Hi,” she said as she joined them. The girls stared for a moment, frowning. They glanced at each other.
“I’m Alina,” she said, to fill up the silence.
“We know who you are,” said the girl who called her. “I thought you were someone else.”
Alina swallowed. “Can I play?”
Eris narrowed her eyes. “Isn’t Jade your caretaker?”
“Yes,” said Alina, with more confidence.
Eris put her hands on her hips. “My caretaker told me Jade used to be the most popular lady in Pria until she got you. Now she’s boring and doesn’t have any friends. I know why. Who would be happy with someone who looked like you?” She smiled as the girls around her burst into giggles.
Alina shifted her feet. A tight lump formed in her throat, and she knew what that meant. She clenched her hands, digging her fingernails into her palms. She would not cry.
“Jade is happy with me,” she gulped. “She says—”
“Sorry,” Eris cut in. “Only pretty girls are allowed to play with us.” She whirled around, clasped hands with the others and they skipped away, giggling.
Alina put her face in her hands. She could hide in the trees and cry, then go back to Jade and maybe she wouldn’t notice. Alina didn’t want anyone to know what happened. But when she looked behind her, Jade was kneeling with outstretched arms.
She had seen the whole thing.
Alina clung to Jade’s arms as they surrounded her, releasing her tears into the soft velvet of her dress. Jade didn’t care for those fancy dresses anyway.
Alina adjusted her seat and tried to focus on her history lesson. She shouldn’t have reflected on that memory, with tears already at the surface and Eris’s teal-blue eyes staring at her from across the room. Alina slouched as Eris walked toward her.
She loomed above Alina for a moment, peering over her shoulder. Alina rubbed her forehead to hide her face, but Eris had seen enough. She scrunched up her nose in disgust.
“Ugh, Alina, what’s that all over your face?”
Her voice cut through the room, and the class flocked over. She moved out of the way to provide an unobstructed view. Alina’s peers often examined her with curiosity and repugnance, as if she were a specimen in science class. No one looked her in the eye.
After they’d inspected and recoiled enough, Eris stepped in the circle to reclaim the attention. “Really, Alina, you should find out what went wrong when you were formed. Maybe one of your friends can help—oh wait, you don’t have any friends. Well then, why don’t you talk to Jade about it? Oh wait!” she exclaimed to the giggling crowd. “She doesn’t talk to you. In fact, I believe she hasn’t said much at all since you came along. Looking at you every day, I can see why.”
Alina shot to her feet and balled her fists, her face flushed with anger. Her mind searched for a retort, but after a tense moment, she snatched her panel, shoved it in her bag and ran to the door. Eris’s laughter rang out behind her.
Before she slipped out the door, Alina lifted her hot face and caught a boy’s eye from the corner of the room. Zaiden. The only one who hadn’t left his seat.
He looked upset, or embarrassed for her. She bit her lip. Pity humiliated her more than outright insults.
Tears stung her eyes as she darted through the hallway and ducked into the small corridor to her bathroom. She called it her bathroom, because as far as she could tell, no one else used it. Today, she was grateful.
She burst into the room and slammed the door behind her, then covered her mouth with her hand. She hated crying but couldn’t stop the tears this time.
Most people in Pria loved to cry. Tears deepened their eye color and gave their cheeks a fresh glow. Some women even forced a good cry any time they wished to look more attractive. But when Alina cried, her eyes puffed up and her face looked splotchy for hours. She decided to spend the rest of school in the bathroom and wished she had skipped history altogether. She no longer cared about getting in trouble.
The hot tears fell for a long time, and the release soothed her. Jade told her tears must have a place to go, and the longer they collected, the greater the flood when they broke through. This confused Alina because no one else seemed to have a problem controlling feelings. She’d never seen Jade cry—except once.
She
