Allegedly.
I take another sip. I have actually seen one of these movies. Penelope dragged me to the theatre, after watching me roll my eyes one too many times at the plot summaries. It wasn’t terrible, as I recall. Of course, I hadn’t seen the eight previous films, nor did I plan to watch the ten following ones, so I just sort of sat in the cinema enjoying the intergalactic mutants and their very strong desire to kill all living things. Then, the super spy flew in on a magnetic surfboard of some kind, grew several bodily extensions, and fought off the entire army, whilst reminiscing about his lost love who was killed by an iceberg.
Or something.
Honestly, this is why I stick to old books. New plots, especially new movie plots, are so hard to understand.
But even I have to admit, that David Jacobs…there’s a reason he’s on the silver screen. The face, the eyes, that body.
It must be Photoshop. Or CGI.
There’s no way a living human could actually look like that.
Nonetheless, whatever technical wizardry went into making him look the way he looks in that film…hat’s off.
The door opens and I’m still smiling as I wave to Kate, who is striding in and putting steaks on the counter. Being the most responsible person I know, she has a spare set of my keys. None of us has a set of hers. I suspect her house is actually booby-trapped.
“I swear to God, I think that’s who I saw,” Kate says as she pulls a kebab off its skewer and studies it.
Christine laughs and sips her wine. “I don’t believe you.”
Kate pops the piece of meat into her mouth. “It’s true. I recognized him from an interview he did on the Late Show.”
Dory leans forward, “What was he in again?”
Penelope huffs, indignant that we are not all as up to date on film franchises as she is, “Saviors of Space.”
Dory nods slowly, “And who did he play?”
Penelope rolls her eyes and gasps, “Agent Carson. Remember? He was selected to test a new military training regime, but it actually was a robotic, cyborg serum that resulted in super-human strength and time-traveling capabilities.”
Kate takes a sip of her wine. “That’s quite a combination.”
“Huh,” Dory nods. “Was he the one in blue?”
Penelope places her head in her hands.
I place the salad bowl on the glass table top and pick up my iced tea.
“What does he do with the time-travel capabilities?” Christine looks between Dory, who seems just as confused as she, and Penelope, who is still face down on the table.
“He saves the world!” Jessica laughs from her side of the table. “That’s the whole point of the movie.”
“Galaxy,” Penelope lifts her head and looks towards the sky. “He saves the galaxy.”
“Doesn’t he save space?” Dory asks, “Isn’t that the title?”
“Space is in the galaxy,” Kate says.
“Technically, the galaxy is also in space,” Jessica points out.
“Either way, that’s exciting!” Christine smiles and Dory nods.
“Yes,” Penelope nods, speaking slowly as if to a toddler. “It is. These movies have made billions of dollars.”
“Well, we should see them. When will they be in the theatre?” Dory asks the table. Christine shrugs and turns to Penelope, who puts her head back in her hands. Jessica and Kate both laugh into their wine glasses.
“What did he look like?” I am grinning as I take my seat, passing the plate of corn-on-the-cob to my left and the salad to my right.
“Good,” Kate swirls her wine. “Older, and with a beard.” She pauses. “I thought he was blonde, but he’s definitely brunette in real life.”
“Huh,” Jessica chews a crouton. “Maybe he wears a wig in the films?”
“They’re called hairpieces!” Penelope blurts out and even Dory laughs at that.
“I bump into actors in New York,” Kate scoops salad onto her plate. “They’re always smaller in real life.”
“Can you fit them in your pocket?” Jessica grins.
Kate laughs, “Well. Normal size, but I guess we’re used to these larger-than-life characters and seeing them in person is sort of…disappointing. They’re just so average.”
Penelope pouts.
“Well, if you did see who you saw, then we’re all screwed,” I laugh.
“What do you mean?” Jessica asks while Penelope gets a dreamy look in her eyes, and I realize she completely misunderstood my statement.
“Come on,” I shake my head as I spear my lettuce leaves with unnecessary force. “Some big actor moving to Midnight? There goes the neighborhood.”
“It’ll be good for business,” Dory shrugs. “And I think people would get used to it.”
Christine pushes her grilled asparagus spears across her plate. “It might be nice for him. If he’s moving all the way out here, it’s probably because he wants a different kind of life. Maybe the town will be good to him.”
“And if he’s so normal,” Penelope casts a withering look towards Kate who responds with her classic What did I do? face. “Most people won’t even notice him.”
“He’d be good for Jane,” Christine’s words are soft. All eyebrows at the table shoot up as we turn to her.
She shrugs. “If any of this is true, then he sounds like a perfect match.”
“How in the world,” I put down my fork and lean towards her, “are David Jacobs and I a perfect match?”
“Well,” she smooths her hands on the napkin across her lap. “You love to travel, but want to be based here. You study stories and are used to being on-stage in your lectures, having a hundred people stare at you. You always describe yourself as plain, which strikes me as just another word for normal. So, if this normal, well-traveled story-teller has moved right next door, then it seems like…” she trails off, looking at me.
Jessica nods, “You know, when you put it that way…”
Penelope shakes her head, “No. If he’s here, I want him for myself.”
“You can
