I couldn’t help laughing as Finn ran to the end of the porch and gagged into the snowy bushes.
Soothed from the previous tension in the air by my laughter, the baby laughed with me, kicking her chubby legs and giggling. With her curly hair and rosy cheeks, she was beautiful. It was a shame such a sweet creature should be in the middle of so much danger. I couldn’t let anyone know I knew, especially a Mage, but I could help a little from the sidelines. No one had to know.
“Finn, do you know anything at all about babies?”
Recovered from his retching into the snow, Finn lumbered back across the front porch, head sheepishly lowered. This was the Finn I knew best. The protective growly guy from earlier was hot and all, but this shy giant was my favorite.
“I…I don’t really know much, no. You know I don’t have much use for technology, but I went online and read some articles. I guess I can manage.”
The clueless giant needed my help. I had been warned not to get involved with this situation, and all my people had been told to stay clear of any signs of taking sides. We were supposed to be the paranormal version of Switzerland, but how could I walk away now? I was already involved. What was a little more going to hurt, right?
“Listen, where is her diaper bag? Get it and I’ll change her. Come on. All this can wait. The stuff is out of the worst of the weather, so it should be fine for now.”
Finn rubbed his hand over his beard, which I knew from experience meant he was thinking and probably looking for a way to say no. The baby was getting squirmy in my arms. Her situation was definitely getting to her. We didn’t have time to deliberate.
“If we wait, it’s going to be full dark and even more dangerous for you going back down. We should get this done. I don’t want you getting stuck.”
Waving at the accumulated snow already on the ground, I just pushed ahead with my plan to help my friend out. That was all we were was friends. All we could ever be, for reasons.
“Dude, I’m not leaving here tonight. There’s already six inches of snow on the ground, and it’s not even the worst of the storm yet. I’ll have to stay here tonight. Now, this dirty diaper is our main priority, and then we’ll get her highness fed and warm. Come on. I’m turning into an icicle. Let’s get inside.”
Not waiting for an acknowledgment, I walked into Finnegan’s cabin in search of the princess’s diaper bag, ready to give the big bad Mage his very first baby lesson.
Chapter 3
Finnegan
Damn, Henry was pushy. I really liked it.
Probably more than I should.
He had just taken charge and left me on the porch like a big dolt. Mentally slapping myself, I followed him into the cabin and closed the door on the plummeting temperatures. We did need to get the things unloaded, but he was right on two accounts. The baby came first, and there was no way I would let him go down the mountain tonight in the storm.
When I turned the corner from the entryway into the kitchen, I saw that Henry had already found the diaper bag and found a towel to spread out on the kitchen table to create a temporary changing table. He had opened the diaper, and already the smell had hit me even this far away. I was sure I was going to gag again. It was worse than the worst troll slime. I should at least offer to help, even if I really, really didn’t want to.
“Did you find everything you need, Henry? Do you need anything?”
Please say no! Please say no!
“Yeah. Come over here and give me a hand.”
Damn.
I went over slowly, taking off my cloak and laying it over one of the chairs, then moved it out of the way so I could shift my big body next to him. Ameria was on her back with a huge grin on her face, holding her feet up, alternating between giggling and sucking on her toes.
“She seems really happy.”
Henry snorted a laugh, then motioned toward the diaper bag. “Wouldn’t you be thrilled to get out of pants you’d shit in? Hand me the wipes and a diaper, please.”
I did as asked, and then Henry started changing the diaper with a running monologue for my benefit.
“Okay, baby school is in session. First, never let the diaper down until you’re ready to wipe and replace, especially with boys. They’ll feel free to pee all over the place as soon as they’re free to be. So now that we’re ready, take the diaper down and wipe with the front back to get as many gooey bits as you can in the diaper.”
He continued to show me how to wipe, powder, and diaper with all kinds of advice thrown in, and by the time he was done, I was smiling at his humor under such dire circumstances.
“Now, you wrap the wipes up in the diaper, close it all up, and put it in the trash.” He sniffed the diaper and pulled back in horror. “Maybe we can put a can on your back porch? This would be great to fumigate, but we’d have to wear gas masks, not my best look.”
“I’ll take it downstairs to the can in the garage. Critters outside might get into the trash on the porch. And I’ll make sure to double bag before you take my trash down for me at the end of the week.”
Living on the mountain, I didn’t have garbage service. My recycling and trash had to be taken down to the facility in
