Rafe never talked much during these sessions—but then, he never spoke much at all. He was Lucas’s second in command, more about actions than words. He always looked as though he’d forgotten to shave that morning, with just the barest hint of sexy stubble on his chin. His thick, straight hair brushed along his shoulders and was the black of a moonless night, nearly matching eyes the shade of hot fudge. When he transformed, he was gorgeous…and lethal.
Last summer I’d seen him take out a cougar when we’d been scouting an area before taking some campers there. The cougar had attacked, Rafe had shifted, and I’d seen firsthand what our kind is capable of when threatened. We are aggressive and deadly.
Even in human form, Rafe terrified me with all the unleashed power I felt emanating from him. I didn’t know why he’d only recently started drawing my attention—although draw was too tame a word. I couldn’t go five seconds without thinking about him, without looking around to see where he was. I was curious about him in ways I’d never been about any other guy, not even Connor. I wanted to know the kinds of movies he enjoyed and what books he read. I wanted to listen to his iPod playlist and discover his favorite music. But most of all I wanted to know what it felt like to have him wrap his arms around me the way he had in the dream. I wanted to experience the heat of his kiss.
“Only about two more weeks and we get to play with the big boys,” Brittany whispered, breaking the spell Rafe held over me and igniting a spark of guilt within. Had she noticed where my attention had been drawn, which “big boy” held me enthralled? Or had she been searching the table, too, hoping to catch someone’s attention? Legend had it that a girl couldn’t survive the first transformation if she went through it alone.
“Aren’t you scared?” I asked. “I mean, since no one has declared you yet.” As soon as I said it, I was shocked at myself. Brittany was probably worrying plenty about it without a harsh reminder from me.
But she just rolled her deep blue eyes and tossed her head, flicking the thick braid of coal-black hair over her shoulder. “That is so medieval. I shouldn’t have to wait for a guy to get off his butt and approach me. If he’s the one I want, I should be able to ask him. Nothing wrong with being a little alpha-female. This is the twenty-first century, after all.”
“So who would you ask—if it were allowed?”
She hesitated, and for a brief second I thought she was going to give me a name, but then she just shrugged as though she hadn’t made up her mind. “Someone my parents didn’t shove down my throat.”
Ouch! I knew she was referring to how my parents and Connor’s had sort of pushed us together. “My parents didn’t choose Connor.”
“Get real. Family vacations, gymnastics, birthday parties—your family had you doing everything together from the time you were born.”
I couldn’t argue with the truth. Connor had always been there for all the big moments of my life. I had photographs of Connor and me dropping through the Tower of Terror at Disney World, boogie boarding in the Hawaii surf, skiing the backwoods in Aspen…. The list went on. We’d spent many a summer screaming and laughing as we rode the daredevil rides and enjoyed the local attractions wherever our parents took us for vacation. I remembered how lonely I’d been on vacation when I was fifteen and he’d spent his first summer and winter break working in the national forest as a sherpa—our name for those who guide campers into the heart of the wilderness and ensure they come nowhere near our hidden sites. The next summer I’d applied for the sherpa program.
“We always had fun together,” I told Brittany now. “We’re compatible.”
“Compatible? Makes it sound like you’re picking out shoes to wear with a new skirt. Accepting your mate is probably the single most important decision you’ll ever make in your life.”
“Why are you questioning my choice?” And making me question my choice in the process, I thought. Or was it the dream creating these stupid doubts?
“Because it’s not fair to Connor if you don’t truly love him.”
“And how is any of this your business?” I retorted. Her mouth straightened into a flat line. She’d been hassling me about my relationship with Connor since summer began, insinuating that I wasn’t a good girlfriend. “Oh my God. Are you in love with him?”
Before she could answer—assuming she would have done so—Lucas Wilde, our pack leader, twisted around from his place at the table and glared at us. Silently chastised, I pressed my lips together, gave him a nod, and finally concentrated on what was being discussed at the table. After our transformations, Brittany and I would bring the number of Dark Guardians to twelve. But Kayla, Lucas, Connor, Rafe, Brittany, and I were a sherpa team. We worked together to take campers into the wilderness. Serving as guides was how we’d met the Bio-Chrome group and become aware of its true purpose.
“I don’t see that there’s much we can do at this point,” Connor was saying, and I experienced a prickle of pride that he wasn’t afraid to speak up to the three elders who sat together, forming a chain of wisdom and history. “Dr. Keane and his team left the forest two weeks ago. Maybe
