“I don’t know, Dr. Peters, that’s why I’m here.”
“Are you still seeing Ashlyn?”
I looked to the side as I answered his question, “Yes, I am.”
“Are you starting to have feelings for her?” he asked in a serious manner.
“Fuck no, I’m not starting to have feelings for her,” I snapped as I got up from the chair, put my
hands in my pocket, and walked over to the window.
“She’s a good lay, that’s it. There’s nothing more to her than that!”
“Why did you get so upset when I asked you that question? It seems to me that you’re angry because
you might want something more with someone. Maybe not with Ashlyn or with the other woman you
see on a regular basis, but I think you’re starting to feel lonely.”
I turned around and looked at him. Anger began settling in my eyes. “I don’t want anything more
with any woman. How many times do I have to tell you that?”
“Calm down, Connor, and sit back in the chair. You need to listen to yourself. It’s not healthy not to
want anything more in life than just work. You’ve let your emotions die because of Amanda, and you
need to accept the fact that her death wasn’t your fault. You said it yourself; the girl already had
emotional problems when you met her.”
I walked back and sat in the chair directly across from Dr. Peters. “She did have some emotional
problems, but she clearly pointed out in the letter she left that she killed herself because I broke up
with her. How the hell does someone ever get over that? How can I ever get into another relationship
with someone knowing that I was the cause of someone else’s death?”
Dr. Peters sat there, staring at me and taking in every word I spoke. “Doc, I don’t feel anything
when I’m with a woman. I don’t feel any type of connection at all. There are no emotions running
through me, and I could care less if they want more from me. I’m upfront with the women that I sleep
with. I use them for pleasure alone, nothing else, and if it’s not good, then I toss them aside and find
someone else.”
“Those are harsh words, Connor,” he said tilting his head to one side.
“No emotions, remember, Dr. Peters?”
He sighed and got up from his chair, “I just think you haven’t allowed yourself to find the right
woman yet.”
“There is no right woman out there for me, and even if there was, it wouldn’t matter. She would
find out who I really am and want nothing to do with me. My past will always stand in the way of
that.”
“I’m prescribing you some sleep medication,” Dr. Peters said as he handed me the small piece of
paper. “Take one right before bed, and hopefully you’ll be able to get some rest. It won’t stop the
nightmares; only you can put an end to them.”
I got up from the chair and sighed. “Thanks for seeing me today; I’ll be in touch.”
“I want to see you next week, Connor, so make sure you make the appointment.”
As I walked out of the office, a text message from Ashlyn came through.
“Let’s meet up tonight at Club S for some fun.”
Club S wasn’t exactly my cup of tea, but I didn’t mind going there to look at the beautiful women. I
can’t even count the number of times I’ve brought women home from that club. They don’t call it Club
S for nothing. After the session I just had with Dr. Peters, I needed to go out tonight and get drunk to
take my mind off things. I replied back to Ashlyn.
“I’ll meet you there around 8:30 pm.”
“Wonderful, I’ll be waiting, and I’ll be wearing something extra sexy for you.”
I arrived back at the penthouse and changed into my workout clothes. I grabbed my bag and had
Denny drive me to the gym. A good workout is what I needed right now. I needed to decompress from
my session with Dr. Peters. I will never allow myself to fall in love, and there will never be a Mrs.
Black walking around the streets of New York, even though many women have stepped in line to try
and be the first.
I ran six miles on the treadmill, lifted some weights, and fucked Stephanie in the steam room. I’d
say it was a very productive workout. Stephanie is fully aware of my rules, and she’s less
complicated than the others. She likes it quick and rough with a lot of hair pulling, so of course I have
to oblige to keep her wanting more. She’s one hell of a kinky girl. Afterwards, there’s no talk and no
questions asked; just a smile and a wave goodbye.
I walked out of the gym with a smile on my face, and as I slipped into the back of the limo, Denny
turned around and looked at me.
“Judging by the smile on your face, I assume you had an exceptional workout?”
“I sure did, Denny, I sure did,” I smiled as I leaned my head back.
Upon arriving back at the penthouse, I threw
