She picks up the pendant that’s always around my neck and holds it in her palm. “Your heart is large enough to share your love with more than one person at a time, big brother. Do you remember when I gave you this necklace? I can’t believe you’re still wearing it after all these years.”
“You got it out of one of those gumball machines when you were only six years old. Put a quarter in, turn the knob, and a plastic ball comes out with the greatest prize twenty-five cents can buy inside. The necklace was too long for you, so you put it around my neck and said it fit me just right.
“Then you said this little white bird was lucky and would carry all our prayers on its wings. You were adamant it was the answer to all our problems. I don’t know where you got such a wild imagination from, but I couldn’t take your hopes away by telling you it was only a kid’s toy. That’s when you became my little bird. All my prayers and hopes and dreams were for you.”
“Don’t you see, Rod? You’ve already proven you’re nothing like Dad. There’s no chance of that changing now. One day, you’ll finally realize you’re not actually afraid of deserting your family. What you fear is your family will abandon you.”
“I’m the big brother and you’re the little sister. You don’t get to psychoanalyze me.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t get to deny the truth anymore. You’re here with Daisy, and not just because Kevin invited you. Why don’t you do what you know you want to and make up with her? That would be a wonderful Christmas present for me.”
“I thought you said taking legal custody of Isa was your present this year.” I can’t stop the grin spreading across my face.
She shrugs and returns a grin. “You always give me more than one gift. The best surprise I could hope for is to see you happy, Rod. Truly, deeply, madly, indescribably happy.” She kisses my check before she stands to leave. “I’m supposed to be taking a nap with Isa, so that’s what I’m going to do. Daisy is in her room, right across the hall, just in case you didn’t know.”
Of course I know, and she knows I know. The smirk on her face on her way out my door is a dead giveaway.
Now that I’m alone with my thoughts again, I lie on the bed and attempt to process everything happening in my world. Though I’ve helped raise Isa since her father skipped out on them when she was three months old, I haven’t been solely responsible for her day-to-day care. I’ve been the fun uncle and left the hard decisions up to her mother. Sure, I’ve given my input, but whether the choice made was ultimately the correct one was never on my shoulders.
As I replay our conversation in my mind, questions I didn’t think to ask while we were talking begin to form. But now I’ve had a few minutes to analyze her words and consider the full weight of what her request means for my life. Then her exact phrasing hits me like a sledgehammer to the chest, making me sit up straight with a jolt. She carefully concealed the underlying meaning while giving me the facts straight up. I wasn’t exactly thinking straight after she made her request, so I didn’t catch it at first.
She said when she gets worse, not if.
What has the doctor told her she hasn’t shared with me yet?
I’m ready to storm into her room and demand the details, but I stop myself after swinging my feet off the side of the bed. There’s a reason she hasn’t told me yet, and I have to respect her privacy. When she’s ready to talk about it, she’ll come to me and we’ll deal with it together. We always do. I certainly understand the need to digest disappointing news before being able to discuss it rationally with someone else.
My mind is reeling from an overload of emotions.
“Hey, man. You okay?” Kevin steps in front of me, waving his hand to get my attention.
“Where did you come from?” I glance at the door that was closed just a second ago but is standing wide open now.
“I knocked a couple of times, but you didn’t answer. We have an urgent email from your assistant, otherwise I wouldn’t bother you. It’s regarding one of our clients that will only work with you. If you’re up to it, I thought it’d be a good time for you and me to have a joint call with them.” He intently studies me for a moment, trying to gauge where my head is.
“No, I, uh, haven’t seen the email yet. I was working on them a bit ago, but Juliana needed to talk to me about something. What’s wrong now?”
We walk over to the small desk, and he pulls the extra chair beside me. As we discuss the issues the client is experiencing, my mind drifts to other areas. My concentration is severely suffering both at home and at work, and it’s only getting worse as time goes on. After we comb through the details and identify the root cause, I dial the number and put the call on speakerphone.
“Hi Daniel, this is Rod. I’m calling in response to your urgent email. I have Kevin Ellis here beside me. He researched your problem and determined our course of action to correct it. I’ll turn the floor over to Kevin to explain the process and timeline now.”
“Thanks for your prompt response. I’m eager to hear the solution.”
All I do is listen as Kevin takes control of the call, his tone reassuring and confident. His explanations are succinct and in layperson’s terms, so Daniel can keep up with him and feel reassured that his concerns are being corrected. Daniel asks several questions, and I remain silent
