Laird leaned forward. "Sounds serious. What's up?"
"I was offered a role in a TV show that's being developed by a major production company right now. It's a brilliant idea but I don't know if I can carry a whole series.
We both know how finicky television viewers are and if it gets less than three million viewers, it gets cancelled."
"I told him to take a chance," Xavier pointed out. "I
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mean, his first English-speaking movie did so well they're talking sequel. How bad could it be?"
"X is right you know," Laird said.
Xavier laughed. "I never get tired of hearing that."
Rajan tossed a peanut at him with a grin.
"What's the show about?" Laird questioned.
"It's a detective show—the detective went through some kind of trauma in the military and for some reason he can't remember anything. But he's good at his job…
apparently every season there will be some major
recollection or danger from his past that will cause everything to spiral out of control."
"Makes sense." Laird nodded.
"That's one idea…" Rajan got up to open the fridge.
When he sat again, he had a bowl of grapes in his hand.
"The second idea is about an elite SWAT team…"
"Like the SIU?" Laird reached for a handful of the cold grapes.
"No. This team operates under the radar… they can go across borders… The reason why I'm so hesitant is this would be filmed in Canada. I'll be gone eight months out of the year."
"He's worried about me," Xavier said. "Like I said to you before, take a chance, baby. I am a big boy—I can visit you. You can come home. I'm not going anywhere so
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when you wrap and come home, I'll be here."
Rajan smiled.
"I say do it, Raj. I'm pretty sure when Sav and Jamal come back they'll tell you the same thing. Go and do this television show. It'll be something to make you work while you're not in India. And you always said you wanted to branch out."
Their conversation continued, slowly deviating
from Rajan's decision to Savaro as they wandered from the kitchen to the living room. Savaro and Jamal had taken their thirteen-year-old son, along with his high school soccer team and cheerleaders, to Brazil for some kind of championship. They didn't exactly take them—Jamal and Savaro were the chaperone parents for the games. Laird suddenly felt as though he was missing something in his life. He ran his hand over his bearded face. It'd been a couple of days since he'd shaved. He didn't really see the point.
"I didn't notice it before but you look like a hobo,"
Rajan joked.
"Yeah, bite me." Laird lifted his beer to his lips to hide a smirk.
"You've been quiet, Laird," Xavier said, reaching over to drop a kiss to Rajan's head. "You all right?"
"I don't know," Laird replied. He took a drink from his beer before lifting his eyes to his brother's boyfriend.
"Lately something doesn't seem right and I can't put my finger on it."
"Ah yes… the famous paranoia us Anatolis men are so famous for," Rajan said.
"You're an ass, you know that?" Laird couldn't help his smile though.
Rajan took a dramatic breath before reaching over to grab Laird's hand.
"Don't be afraid, Laird Anatolis! And if you see a bright, white light, just stay away from it."
Xavier burst out laughing as his pager went off.
Laird knew what it meant—the SWAT team captain had to go. Smiling, he held out a fist to Xavier. When it was bumped he watched his brother kiss Xavier goodbye, and soon they were alone in the house.
"Seriously, what's wrong?" Rajan asked.
Laird shrugged. "When I know that, I'll let you know."
"Do you need to get laid? Because I could hook you up with…"
"No! No hook-ups. I can get laid all by myself.
There's more to it, you know?"
Rajan nodded. "All right, when you're ready to talk to me, I'm right here."
Laird smiled and nodded. "It's just, lately I've been off. You've seen it. Sav saw it. My game is all wobbly."
"Well, everyone is allowed a down day once in a while."
"It seems like my whole month has been down. It's irritating."
Rajan drank from his bottle. "I hear that. But don't push it. Things will feel better soon. If not, you can take a vacation."
"To where?"
"Timbuktu? No clue. Just breathe."
"What about Brydon?"
"You do like that kind of farming dealie." Rajan looked thoughtful. "You can go visit Winston. See what he's been up to lately. He did say he'd be happy to have you…" Rajan wiggled his brows.
Laird burst out laughing. "Stop being a pervert."
"Fine, but when Xavier comes knocking about why I'm no longer a freak you're going to have to give him some good answers."
Laird chuckled. "Besides, Winston's not my type and vice versa. I could use the break though."
Rajan nodded.
"All right, but I won't go until Jamal and Sav come back. You and Xavier need help babysitting Lee."
"Babysitting Lee? Brazil, remember?"
"Oh right. My bad." Laird burst out laughing. "I'll ask Winston."
Yet, long after Laird was alone again, he stood in the living room looking at their new family photo. It seemed like every other year they had to take a new one.
Someone new was brought into their family causing the image to change dramatically. This time Xavier stood proudly beside Rajan. Flipping off the light, Laird climbed the stairs, stripped down to his boxers, and went to bed. But sleep was elusive at best. No matter what he did, he just couldn't fall asleep. Finally, he pushed from the bed and walked over to the window. It had begun to rain at some point.
It was four thirty in the morning and he couldn't seem to fall asleep. He'd tried warm milk, counting sheep, watching tennis—nothing worked. Finally, he gave up and just sat there, staring aimlessly. For the past month and a half he'd found himself with
