‘Neither have you,’ says Jack.
I pause to smile at him. ‘Thanks for that.’
We’re at the top of the scaffold now. The noose is less than a metre away. And beneath it a closed trapdoor. I turn to look at the governor. He’s standing beside another man, a nought with blond hair wearing a black suit. The nought stands behind a long lever. The lever for the trapdoor.
My life in your hands.
I don’t want to die . . .
There’s still time. There’s still hope.
I look around, scanning the crowd, searching the audience for her. But I can’t see her. If I could just see her one last time . . . Where is she? Is she even here? Sephy. And my child that I’ll never see. Never hold. Never know.
Is she here?
Please, God . . .
‘I’ve got to put your hood on now,’ Jack says softly.
‘I don’t want it on.’ How will I find her with a hood on?
‘I’m afraid you have no choice. Those are the rules,’ Jack apologizes.
He pulls the hood over my head. I try to pull back. I’m not trying to run away. I just want to see her . . . One last time . . . The hood is over my head and hangs down to my shoulders. The world is black as night. Jack pulls my arm to lead me to the rope.
Please God, I don’t want to die . . .
Sephy . . .
Tears run down my face. Now I’m grateful for the hood.
‘I LOVE YOU, CALLUM . . .’
Wait . . .
‘I LOVE YOU, CALLUM. AND OUR CHILD WILL LOVE YOU TOO. I LOVE YOU, CALLUM, I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU . . .’
The noose is being pulled down over my head and around my neck. But I can hear her.
I can hear her. She’s here.
‘I LOVE YOU, CALLUM . . .’
Thank you, God. Thank you.
‘I . . . I LOVE YOU TOO, SEPHY . . .’ Can she hear me? ‘I LOVE YOU, SEPHY. I LOVE YOU, SEPHY.’
Wait . . . Please wait . . . Just a moment longer . . .
‘I LOVE YOU, CALLUM . . .’
‘SEPHY, I LO . . .’
one hundred and seventeen.
Sephy
The trapdoor opens.
‘I LOVE YOU, CALLUM,’ I scream frantically.
He drops like a stone. My words die on my lips.
There’s no sound except the rope creaking and groaning as Callum’s body swings slowly to and fro.
Did he hear me? I don’t know. He must have heard me. Did he say I love you ‘too’? Maybe I just imagined it. I can’t be certain. I don’t know.
Dear God, please let him have heard me. Please.
Please.
If you’re up there.
Somewhere.
BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS
At midnight on 14th May at Mercy Community Hospital, to Persephone Hadley and Callum McGregor (deceased), a beautiful daughter, Callie Rose.
Persephone wishes it to be known that her daughter Callie Rose will be taking her father’s name of McGregor.
