I decide to get up and start on breakfast, and found April was nowhere to be seen which disappointed me and frustrated me, she’s not the only one that has experienced loss and in this new world we are living in we can’t afford to give into our emotions, if we want to survive we have to keep strong and carry on no matter what the circumstance, “is she still asleep?” Sam asks, her question snaps me back to reality, “I didn’t see you there" I laugh nervously, “sorry you seemed lost in thought and I didn’t want to disturb you" she smiles, “how are you doing?” she asks empathy showing in her eyes, “I’m okay considered what happened, well I’m not okay but I can’t afford to just mope, she wouldn’t want that and I’ve got to care for you guys so" I shrug, “I get that, if there’s anything I can do let me know" she smiles brightly, “actually could you see if you can get April to come down?” I ask, she nods and promptly disappears, Sam’s presence makes the house feel less cold, it’s a comfort to have some positivity left.
Moments later she comes back and shakes her head with a sigh, “I asked her but she didn’t say anything, I don’t know what to do" I sigh in annoyance, “she can’t stay up there forever, she’s got to just get on with it like everyone else, the world doesn’t revolve around her!” I exclaim angrily, “she’s not like you, she can’t just be okay she needs time to adjust, it is a different world now but it will take her time to get over this" I nod slowly, “I know, I don’t mean to be a jerk I’m just angry I guess, and I’m going to have to replace my mum and that’s hard, I’m nothing like her, I’m angry like my dad".
“You’re nothing like your dad" Sam reassures and pulls me into a hug, I lean into her embrace for a while, I suddenly pull back feeling heat in my face “um thanks I’m fine though" I shrug and turn back to the breakfast, after a few moments I’m able to serve it, Sam and I sit at the table in silence enjoying each other’s company and the food, “you’re a good cook" she says with a smile, “my mum taught me, she said I had to learn how to do these things so when I move out I can take care of myself" I reply remembering the memory well, she taught me many important things such as how to use a dish washer, a washing machine, and how to drive.
“She must have been a good teacher" I nod in response, “she actually was a teacher for a while, she left to take care of us and decided to just work a few part time jobs to spend time with us", I avoid her eyes as we speak not wishing to seem vulnerable, “that must have been difficult" she replies, “she was almost always stressed, we weren’t rich but she always made sure we had enough money for everything we needed, she started saving for university for us both from the day we were born" a silence now follows as we both just sit and remember her.
For the next few days only myself and Sam are active in the house, April stays in her room, we leave food for her but have no other contact than that with April, it soon becomes the normal routine until Sam becomes worried, “this really isn’t healthy, we can’t just leave her to be holed up in her room forever" I sigh, “you’re right, and we need to leave soon as we’re running low on food again, she needs to be prepared to go back out there again".
“Is she really ready for that yet? Shouldn’t she stay behind this time, do we all really need to go?” Sam asks, “I would leave her behind but who knows if one of those things figures out how to get in here, plus we’re stronger out there together especially with her with us, she’s got a strong swing", after glancing at the stairs for a while I decide to head up there, I arrive at April’s door and slowly pull it open, she’s lying on her bed in the same position as always, “April?” I call out to her, she doesn’t reply “you need to get up now, I’ve given you time and your times up, it’s time to come back to reality" she still doesn’t reply, I roll her over, she still doesn’t respond with only a blank expression on her face as though she's not all there, “the whole world doesn’t revolve around you, I’m sad too but I’ve just got on with things like you need to, we need to go out there again and you need to come” I tell her, “I’m not going out there again" she says quietly.
“So, you’ve given up? You’re just going to sit here forever and leave me to do everything?!” I shout my blood boiling, “what’s the point if mums not here?” she asks finally making eye contact with me, “there’s always a point in continuing to live, even when the ones you love leave you behind, Sam's still here, I'm still here, we need you to be with us" I plead, she just watches me silently for a while, “if we’re going back out there, we’re doing it my way, the first sign of danger we go, if someone is in trouble we save them,
