Jason left finally, shutting the office door very quietly behind him.
That careful exit, more than anything, told Kevin just how upset his son was. Jason slammed doors. From the time he’d been able to walk, he’d raced through life, hitting doors at full tilt, letting them crash behind him. The quiet closing of Kevin’s door with its implied hint of defeat was just one more sign that both of their worlds had suddenly gone topsy-turvy.
When Jason had gone, Kevin leaned back in his chair and wondered why it had taken a crisis of this magnitude to begin to open the lines of communication with his son. If nothing else came from this damnable separation, at least perhaps he would have the new bond that had formed over the last few months between him and Jason.
After years of distance and a sense that they never connected, Kevin had been stunned to realize that his son truly did love him. It had been equally surprising to realize that Jason had matured so much. Kevin gave Dana a lot of credit for that. She had given Jason a sense of direction. Besides that, his daughter-in-law was every bit as determined as Lacey had once been to see that the Halloran family ties remained close-knit.
Jason, Dana, even Kevin’s father used every opportunity to try to push him into reconciling with his wife. Right now, though, Kevin wasn’t up to explaining that the choice wasn’t his. He couldn’t cope with explanations, period. The fact of the matter was that he couldn’t cope with anything these days. There was an aching, leaden sensation in the middle of his chest that never seemed to go away.
If Jason didn’t understand his separation from Lacey, it was a thousand times worse for him. How could a love that had begun in the fifth grade, a marriage that had lasted over twenty-five years, fall apart in a split second?
The day a year earlier when Lacey had moved out of their huge house and into a tiny apartment of her own, Kevin had been stunned. Sure, they’d had a few fights. She couldn’t seem to understand the demands of running a business like Halloran Industries. In her own quiet way she had badgered him to let up, to spend more time with her, to think of his health.
The next thing he knew, Lacey was forcing his hand, trying to recapture a time long ago, a time when, as he saw it now, he’d avoided responsibility, rather than accepting it. Her harsh all-or-nothing ultimatum—Halloran Industries or a marriage—had taken him by surprise. His inability to make the decision she’d demanded had been answer enough, it seemed. In her view, with his silence, he had chosen the generations-old family textile business over her.
Lacey had made good on her threat, too. Kevin didn’t have to understand her decision to know that it was final. Lacey appeared easygoing and flexible, but beneath that gentle facade was a stubborn streak a mile wide. He’d recognized it the first time he’d seen the defiant lift of her chin, despite the sheen of tears in her eleven-year-old eyes. That fierce determination, that willingness to spit in the eye of her own fears had made her a perfect match for a Halloran.
It was up to Lacey to explain her moving out to Jason, though. Kevin wasn’t about to try. He would never be able to hide his anger or this raw, gut-wrenching feeling of utter helplessness that was totally alien to him. He might understand the most intricate details of business administration, but over the past year he’d come to realize he didn’t know a damn thing about women, not even the one woman who’d captured his heart so very long ago.
And, to his profound regret given the circumstances, the woman who held it still.
* * *
“Mom, I just don’t get it. What happened? Why did you move out? I thought you’d go back long ago. Haven’t you made your point yet?”
How many times was Jason going to ask her that? Lacey Halloran wondered. How many times would she have to give the same stupid, evasive answer because she couldn’t bear to get into the truth?
“Jason, that is between your father and me,” she said, her tone gentle as she busied herself repotting a bright red geranium to keep her son from seeing how her hands shook. It wouldn’t do at all for him to see how much she feared the empty days ahead, an emptiness she had brought on herself.
Lacey couldn’t blame Jason for being confused. She’d felt that way herself for months now, maybe even years. She’d felt her relationship with Kevin sliding not just into a rut, but into some deep, dark ravine. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, couldn’t bury the memories of the dear, rebellious young man who’d set himself up as her protector when they’d been barely eleven.
In those days Kevin had been noble and brave and adventurous. They’d roared through the sixties with spirit and love and idealism. Even now she wasn’t sure exactly when he’d started to change or when she’d first noticed the shift in priorities, the abandonment of values they’d once shared.
Maybe it was when he’d caved in to pressure from his father to join Halloran Industries. Brandon had used every trick in the book to lure his son into taking his rightful place in the family business. He’d finally played on Kevin’s guilt, convincing him that he was doing a disservice to his wife and son by not giving them everything they deserved. None of Lacey’s protests had been able to allay Kevin’s fear that his father was right.
Maybe it was after that, when he’d ignored her open distaste and bought that huge, monstrous house that was more like a mausoleum than a home. Kevin had wanted a place suitable for entertaining business associates, a palace for her, he’d said. Brandon’s realtor had
