focused on one of those beer signs hanging over the jukebox. I tried not to look at the people seated and standing below me, even though in my mind I could see all of them: dozens of men under an umbrella of smoke, drinking their beer and smacking their lips, sweating in the small, crowded room-and looking straight up between my legs at my cunt.
And most of all I didn't want to look down again because I didn't want to be reminded by the sight of the parted lips of my own pussy what I was doing-which amounted to selling my body for money.
As the music throbbed on, I finally removed the panties and danced around completely nude. The audience seemed to love everything I did. Because I was elevated above them on the stage, there was no chance they could grab me, but I still felt like I was being pawed roughly by their stares, violated by their eyes and lewd comments.
As I continued bumping and grinding, I soon lost all track of time, and even of the differentiation between the records playing on the jukebox. It seemed like I had been up there dancing to one long, endless song forever when Harry jumped on the stage, grabbed the microphone, and said, 'That's it! Wasn't she great? Let's give a big hand to the fabulous Honeysuckle!'
The next thing I knew I was back in the restroom putting my clothes back on and listening to the continuing applause, when there was a knock on the door. 'I'm not dressed!' I shouted.
'So what?' said Harry as he burst into the room. 'I can't see any more than I just did.' I started to tell him something, like where he could go, but he went on talking. 'Listen, sweetie, you were great, just great. No complaints. They loved you, just loved you. You're a star! How does that make you feel?'
'Pretty crummy,' I blurted out.
But as I sat around at a back booth drinking coffee while the other girls danced, I had to admit that as lousy a job as this was, it still was gratifying that people were turned on by me. That seemed to be the one saving grace of this job, however, and as I continued to watch the other dancers I realized that the one positive aspect of Working at Count Porno's would probably be short-lived in its impact. The work was so demeaning, and they had to go to such lengths to win approval. The whole thing was based on how far the dancer would go-the less attractive the dancer was, the farther she had to go to please the audience.
One particularly willowly and beautiful brunette only had to tentatively dance around the stage to win the approving shouts of the crowd. But another girl, with small tits and a plain face, was subjected to their jeers until she finally dropped to the floor of the stage, spreading her lep and holding them above her head so the open hairy gash of her cunt seemed to breathe in the crowd's face. When they screamed, 'More, more!' she wriggled on her back with her elbows over to the side of the stage and threw her hand down into the audience. Apparently it was a regular occurrence because someone in a ringside seat immediately handed her a lighted cigarette. She took it and placed it between the open slick lips of her cunt while she sucked in her breath. Then, pulling the cigarette out of her cunt with one hand, she used her other hand to push down on her stomach, causing a cloud of smoke to be exhaled from her cunt. The crowd loved it, but it almost made me sick. I was glad I was attractive enough that I didn't have to resort to anything like that.
The evening progressed, and I wound up dancing five or six more times. Each time it got easier in one respect, but harder in another. My feeling of queasiness about being naked on stage in front of a bunch of half- drunk men subsided, but, at the same time, a sense of irritation started to rise in me. Halfway through the evening the job had ceased to be so frightening, but it was getting to be a chore. As I danced, I started trying to make out some of the people in the audience, but no matter how hard I tried they remained a faceless, babbling mass in a haze of smoke and stale beer stench.
After my final turn of the evening, I walked down off the stage and toward the restroom, anxious to get into my clothes and out of the place, not because I was embarrassed by my nudity any more, but because I was bone tired and wanted to go home and get some rest. When I was almost at the restroom door, I suddenly became aware that someone was following me. Before I could say anything, he came up to me and said, 'Could I speak to you, miss?'
He was about forty, as well as I could make out through the gloom, wore glasses, and was about five-three and weighed probably less than a hundred and twenty pounds. But he sort of appealed to me in that at least he wasn't some big gorilla, or one of the motorcycle freaks I'd seen sitting around the stage with their fellow gang members.
'Can I buy you a beer?' he asked timidly.
'Well,' I said, 'that's nice of you, but I'm off now and I have to get home.' Then I said, 'Besides, the management lets me drink four gallons a night before I have to pay for any, and I still have two or three glasses to go before I reach my limit.'
He laughed, which seemed kind of nice in that place after all the slurping and panting I'd heard. Then there was a pause, and then he moved over to his right a little, into the shadows so I didn't have as good a view of him. Then he said he had a proposition for me.
'Well, what is it?' I asked, straining my eyes to focus on him in the shadows. Forgetting that I was naked, I absent-mindedly bent my knee and lifted a foot so I could brush the gritty sawdust from the bottom of it. I suddenly became aware that I had no clothes on when I heard my cunt squish as I maneuvered my leg, and I dropped it to the floor and defensively crossed my arms in front of me.
'How would you like a hundred dollars?' he asked. All of a sudden I was liking him less.
'How would you like two hundred dollars?' he asked when I didn't answer. 'Three hundred?' I
'Hey, hey,' he yelled after me, 'you ain't mad are you? You gonna be back tomorrow night?'
That was one question I didn't want to answer, and I just kept walking into the cool morning air, not bothering to look back.
CHAPTER NINE
A cab finally got me back to Margot's about three a.m. I was exhausted and went to sleep on the couch without even taking off all my clothes. When I awoke in the morning I decided that I would have a cup of coffee and something to eat before I even contemplated Count Porno's Lounge and what I would do about my job them. Walking into the kitchen, I noticed that Margot had left another note. I picked it up and read, 'Your boyfriend called last night, and wanted to come over to see you. I told him you were working. He got out of the hospital early and wanted to surprise you. He'll call you again this morning. Margot.'
I couldn't believe it. Tom out of the hospital. He must have known he was getting out the last time we talked but kept it a secret to surprise me. I wasn't so sure whether I was pleased or irritated. I was thrilled that we could be together, since, Lord knew, I needed all the emotional support I could get. But I also wished I had had time to get my personal life in order before we were reunited. The shambles things were in hardly seemed the appropriate background for a successful relationship.
I was puttering around the kitchen deep in thought when my consciousness was pierced by the doorbell ringing. At first I thought it was the telephone and jumped about a foot in the air from excitement because I thought it was Tom making his promised call. When I realized it was the doorbell, I walked over to the door and opened it, leaving the chain lock still attached so that I had about three inches of space to peer out through. I couldn't see anyone, but all of a sudden I heard a rumbling voice growling, 'All right, lady, open up, this is the police;' and my heart leapt into my mouth.
Half expecting to have the door kicked down if I didn't get it open immediately, I hurriedly detached the chain and opened it widely. To my surprise, instead of a squad of policemen, there stood Tom with a smirk on his face.
'Oh, God, Tom,' I gasped, 'you scared me! I really thought you were the police!'
He laughed and said, 'Well, what have you been up to?'
We looked at each other silently. I was so glad to see him, but I was still getting over the shock he had given me. Finally, he said, 'Aren't you going to invite me in?'
'Oh, sure, sure,' I said. 'It's just that you took my breath away.'
The minute we were inside and the door was closed behind us, Tom grabbed me and kissed me, and although I appreciated it, I lay limply in his arms. When he had finished he looked at me and said, 'What's wrong,
