talking Canadian. There had never been anything physical, she added quickly, not even a kiss on the cheek. He was the perfect gentleman. She had told him everything, her hard early years on a farm in Isaan, the one man she had loved who’d been killed in a road accident when she was twenty-one, and that fact that she was saving to build her own home.
During one dinner at a well-known Bangkok seafood restaurant, the Reverend Armitage told Khun Bua about his plans to start a new business in Thailand. His marriage agency was working well, he said, but what he really wanted to do was start a flower business. He planned to export flowers, especially orchids, to churches back in Canada to use in funerals and wedding ceremonies. The only thing that was holding him back was the fact that all his capital was tied up in the marriage agency and in his home on the west coast of Canada. If only there was some way he could find a business partner to help him get the new venture up and running. With his church connections back in Canada, the money would come rolling in.
Khun Bua took the bait. She offered to back the Reverend Armitage in his new venture. At first he declined, saying that he didn’t want to jeopardise their friendship by going into business, but Khun Bua insisted. She trusted the man of the cloth, and he was offering her a way to fund a very comfortable retirement. The Reverend allowed Khun Bua to persuade him that she was the perfect business partner, and he went with her to the bank where she drew out all her life savings in a cashier’s check. Armitage gave her a legal-looking document which stated that she was a partner in the Thai-Canadian Christian Orchid Company and that she would be entitled to fifty per cent of all future profits.
There were no profits, of course. At first there were excuses. Lots of excuses. There were problems with permits, with visas, with suppliers. Then his mobile phone number was disconnected. Khun Bua went around to the offices of the marriage agency in a run-down tenanted high-rise in Asoke. The only employee there was a young secretary who hadn’t been paid in two months. Of the Reverend Armitage there was no sign.
At this point in the story, Khun Bua broke down and began sobbing. I started to get angry looks from the diners in KFC, who obviously thought that I was the one making the middle-aged lady unhappy. I patted her on the back of the hand and told her that I would do what I could to help, and she blew her nose loudly and took a deep breath.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she sniffed. ‘But I have nothing now. That man, that evil, evil, man, took everything I have.’
The secretary told her that the rent hadn’t been paid, and that the electricity and phone were about to be cut off. She had Armitage’s home address but he wasn’t answering his phone. Khun Bua went around to the apartment in Soi 39 and found the landlord there. All Armitage’s personal effects had gone and he owed a month’s rent.
Khun Bua collapsed in the landlord’s arms. He advised her to go to the police, but they said there was nothing they could do: Armitage hadn’t broken any laws. Khun Bua had taken a week off work. She was getting heart palpitations and had developed a nervous tic. While at home she’d picked up the latest copy of the magazine and saw my advertisement. As we sat in the KFC outlet, she threw herself on my mercy. I was her last hope. Her only hope. And she had no money to pay me. Nothing. Nada.
Like I said, she was my first real case and I really did feel sorry for her, so I agreed to work on a commission of ten per cent of any funds recovered. If I could find the elusive Reverend Armitage, I stood to make 40,000 baht, which wasn’t at all shabby.
My first stop was the marriage agency’s office. The secretary was still there, but she was packing her things into a cardboard box when I walked in through the door. Her name was Nid and she was a typical young Thai university graduate, eager-to-please and working for a pittance. The average university graduate in Thailand earns less than 8,000 baht a month. Young Nid had been promised twice that but had only been paid for two months. She had no idea where her employer had gone and had problems of her own. Her rent was due that week and she hadn’t been able to send any money back to her family upcountry. Her only hope was to find another job and that wasn’t going to be easy as Bangkok was awash with newly qualified graduates.
I promised to do what I could to get her back pay, so she let me rummage through the desks. There were no clues as to where the elusive Reverend Armitage might have gone, but on one of the desks was an old computer. I plugged it in. It was password protected but Nid had that so I was able to get into the email programme and pull out his contacts list. There were two Armitages on the list, which I figured would be close family. I showed the names to Nid and she confirmed that they were both his brothers. One was in Montreal, the other lived in Singapore.
Nid also told me that her boss had a girlfriend from Udon Thani but she didn’t know the girl’s name. From the description-tall, leggy, long hair and a tattoo of a scorpion on one shoulder-it sounded as if the Reverend Armitage was either rescuing wicked women or he’d fallen for the charms of a bargirl.
I headed off to the Canadian Embassy but they were in no mood to help. I explained that Armitage had left a decent middle-class Thai woman penniless but the young Canadian guy behind the glass window just shrugged and told me that they didn’t give out information to third parties. I went to an internet cafA© where I downed a couple of strong coffees and fired off emails to the two brothers.
I knew that both guys received the emails but neither got back to me. I didn’t have an office back then, I worked out of my apartment and used computers in local internet cafes. I’d pop in every few hours to see if there was a reply but after a couple of days it became clear that they were ignoring me. The one person who kept calling me was Khun Bua, who was becoming increasingly frantic. I tried to calm her down but I knew that it wasn’t going to be an easy case to crack. I had no idea where he was, and even if I did find him, I was only a private eye. To force him to hand back Khun Bua’s money I’d need the backing of the police, and that was easier said than done.
Thai police precincts don’t cooperate especially well with each other. They prefer to operate as separate entities. As the money had been taken in Bangkok, I’d have to register the complaint at the Thonglor police headquarters. But it looked as if Armitage had fled Bangkok, and that being the case the Thonglor cops wouldn’t go out of their way to pursue him. Equally, if he was picked up outside Bangkok for anything else, it wasn’t a foregone conclusion that the upcountry cops would check back with Bangkok. I needed an arrest warrant, and for that I needed a judge. Then I had a stroke of luck. Khun Bua was on the edge of a nervous breakdown so I offered to take her for a coffee. I was shocked when I saw her. She’d aged a good ten years since our first meeting. She’d developed a stammer and I swear her hair was now streaked with grey. I explained the position to Khun Bua, and she told me that one of the owners of the magazine company was related to a Supreme Court Judge. Bingo! Getting things done in Thailand is all a matter of who you know and who you’re related to. As a farang, I was short of top- level contacts, but Khun Bua had come up trumps.
I took Khun Bua to the police station and made an official complaint. As part of the deal Khun Bua agreed to pay the station a small percentage of any money recovered. Par for the course in Thailand. The cops gave us a copy of the complaint and Khun Bua went with her boss to see the judge who happily signed an arrest warrant. Now all I had to do was to find the elusive Reverend Armitage. I remembered what Nid had said about Armitage having a girlfriend from Udon Thani. It was a fair bet that if he was still in Thailand he’d gone back to her home town. That being the case he’d have to do a visa run every few months, and most long-stay expats in Udon Thani crossed the border at Nong Khai to visit Laos, get a new visa and then return to the Land of Smiles.
I took a train to Nong Khai-twelve hours on a hard seat on a rattling train that at times rumbled along at barely more than walking pace-and then paid a motorcycle taxi to drive me out to the border. On the way we stopped off at a local supermarket and picked up two bottles of Johnnie Walker Black Label-the universal sweetener.
My Thai was good enough to get me ushered into the local immigration chief’s office and I handed him the whisky and the warrant. I told him the full story, how Armitage had ruined the life of a sweet little old lady, and that I was pretty sure that he’d be crossing the border at some point. I told him that Khun Bua was well in with a Supreme Court Judge and, naturally, promised him a share of any money recovered. And that was all I could do. I caught the next train back to Bangkok and waited. Khun Bua kept calling me but I explained that it was now in the hands of the immigration officers at Nong Khai. She promised to pray for my well being, and for Armitage to be apprehended.
The private-eye business is all about waiting. You wait for clients, you spend hours, sometimes days, waiting outside a building for your target to appear, you wait at airports, you wait outside hotel rooms, you wait to get paid. You need the patience of a saint, and I was never a particularly patient guy.
I first arrived in Thailand in the late eighties. I was born in Cambridge, a small town in New Zealand that
