this place beyond the reach of Senate and Hannibal. He just didn’t want it to come to that.
And then Paullus spoke, not with anger, but still stern and direct.
“I did not agree to marry Julia because I desired political favor from her father, or to further my own career. I agreed to marry her because I loved her. I always have, since I first laid eyes on her years ago when she was still a child.”
Gaius wanted to say that he regretted making that comment that was Paullus’ only reason for entering into the agreement in the first place. He hadn’t meant for his words to come out as it had. However, he kept his mouth shut as Paullus continued.
“I may not have known her as long as you have, but that does not change how I feel about her, Gaius. I have cherished what time I have shared with her, even as little as it has been. And I dream of what life we may yet have left to live, together, as husband and wife.”
Paullus’ expression changed unexpectedly as his voiced lowered, as he abruptly found that he could no longer look Gaius in the eyes.
“However, I knew then — I’ve always known that her feelings towards me were not returned. I had hoped that with time, she could see me in the same light as I see her. Even so, I know now that her heart and soul had always been entrusted to another man, a man who not even my wealth, power and influence could stand against.”
Paullus looked up at Gaius with heavy eyes.
“I am glad at least that it is you, my friend whom she loves. I do not know of anyone better.”
Gaius did not know what to say or what he should. He just stood staring at Paullus, seeing that the realizations that he was letting go of someone important to him was perhaps the most difficult thing he ever had to do.
“I will release Julia of her marriage vows as you asked, and give you my blessings for your union, Gaius.”
“Thank you,” Gaius replied, which brought only a sad nod from the consul before he turned to leave.
“Paullus,” Gaius called. Stepping over to him, he stood before Paullus and placed his hand onto the consul’s shoulder, and spoke softly.
“I am not of noble birth, or do I pretend to understand Roman edict or social standings as much as you, my friend. However, I do understand what it is to hide my feelings for another person, but are not able to express them. I know how much it hurts, how far you would be willing to go to be with that person, even die for them.”
Paullus looked confused by Gaius’ words, but he listened regardless.
“Claudia,” Gaius indicated towards her with his eyes. Paullus too looked back at her, who stood quietly watching the two men speak, unknowing that the subject turned toward her.
“She stayed with you when you were injured — defended you against your captives even at the risk of her own life, and never once while you were unconscious did she leave your side. She did not do this out of servitude or loyalty. She could have left you. She could have been free. Nevertheless, she stayed, no matter the risk. She stayed because of you, because she loves you more than you could possibly know.”
Paullus looked back and stared at Claudia.
“But she is a-”
“A slave,” Gaius finished Paullus’ own words. “My mother was a slave, but that did not change the fact that my father fell madly in love with her. He didn’t care what others would think, or how it might reflex on him. He only needed to know that he loved her, and she him. Everything else, it doesn’t matter.”
“I…” Paullus struggled to speak, but he hesitated for a moment as he kept his eyes on Claudia, seemly seeing her in a new light. “I did not know this.”
“We seldom do, until it is pointed out to us. Build your farm, my friend, and be happy. This is your life. Live it as you want to — with whom you want.”
Gaius turned and left Paullus alone. He hoped as he left that some good would come from this war for Paullus. That he would heed his advice and forgo all judgments of other and follow his heart. He deserved at least that much — a real chance to share his life with another that cared for him as considerably as he loved Julia.
When Gaius turned back one last time, he saw that Paullus was now standing with Claudia, speaking with her, not as a master but just as a man speaking to a woman as he held her hand. A small tear ran down her cheek as she listened to him with a warm smile. Gaius didn’t stay longer to see what happened next. He didn’t have to as her smile was all he needed to know.
He had what he wanted. He had Julia for himself. No rules, status, obligations or family could stand in their way now, save for one thing — his duty to Rome.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
There was a bitter chill in the air. Fall was coming quickly, but Gaius didn’t mind, not one bit. He stood on a balcony looking out across Rome. The moon hung high overhead and the gentle breeze. For the first time in a long time, he felt comfortable with this city. Nothing grand happened since his return. Hannibal was still out there somewhere, and Maximus’ propositions were in its early stages. However, he was perfectly content.
Gaius smiled as he felt Julia’s arms wrap around his bare chest as she stood behind him, kissing him on his shoulders as she pressed her naked body up against his.
He returned her kiss as he placed his hands over hers and caressed them.
It had been several days now since Gaius had spoken with Paullus. The consul had been true to his words and had already released Julia of her marriage vows. She was his now, finally and there was nothing or anyone who could stand between them.
“What vexes you so that you leave the warmth of our bed?” Julia asked as she rested her head between his shoulders.
“Tomorrow I will leave for Spain,” Gaius answered.
“You worry about the deployment then?” she asked.
He turned and faced her, making sure that he kept her close to him, in his arms.
“I worry about leaving you. After so long, we have nothing to hide from — the chance to finally,” Gaius paused as he thought about what a future with, he would be like. He hadn’t gotten very far in his daydreams, which he had always believed were just fantasy. “I don’t know really. I don’t want to leave you here alone, again.”
“I have waited this long to be with you, Gaius. I can wait longer if I have to.'
“It could be years. There is still much that needs to be done before we can be sure Rome is safe, no less actually winning this war. I’m afraid what might happen in that time, that I may not — ”
She placed her index finger over his lips, politely asking him to be still.
“What may come may come. We can’t dwell over what we cannot control.”
“But I could control it. I could ask to remain behind and help Rome in some other capacity. The Fifteen Legion will be left behind to protect the city. I could take a post with them.”
Julia smiled as she shook her head.
“I love you more.”
Julia placed her hand over Gaius’ heart and stared up at him.
“Perhaps so, but we both know it isn’t the same. Out there, beyond our borders lies your destiny, and you need to see it through to the end. I will always be right here waiting for you to return.”
“But I may not return at all,” Gaius added as he lowered his head.
“Then, if we can’t be together in this life, then the next. It will change nothing.”
Julia buried her head into his chest, wrapping her arms around him as she held onto him tightly.
“Just never forget what you have to live for,” she whispered. “You will come back to me. I know it.”
