“Maybe, Lin.”
I shrugged. “We are not very popular with the Chinese militia.”
“I know that,” she stated firmly.
“How do you know that, Lin?”
“I am coming from China.”
“Without a visa, I presume.”
“I’ve been in a prison camp of the militia.”
She added tiredly, “For over a year.”
“How come?” Riedl cut in.
“They did not ask me whether I wanted to go. I was a prisoner of war, I suppose.”
“Did you fight them or something?”
“Me?” She turned sharply. “How old do you think I am?” I cast a glance at her, pushed the horn twice to signal halt, then pulled up to the roadside and switched on the small map light. Behind us the armored car ground to a halt. Leaning from the turret, Karl yelled, “Anything wrong, Hans?”
“Everything’s under control, Karl!” I shouted back. “Just a short break.”
“This is a helluva place to have your break,” he growled, sweeping an arm about the dark hills which loomed on either side of the road.
“We are overheating,” Riedl advised him.
“No wonder with such a cutie riding along,” Karl remarked in German. The men in the troop carrier laughed.
I turned the flexible lamp toward the girl. She kept looking at me without a tremor in her eyes. Only her brows arched slightly, as if questioning me on their own. Her lips, slightly apart, revealed small, pearl-like teeth. I surveyed Lin’s face almost minutely but found myself as confused as ever regarding her age. I saw wrinkles in the corners of her eyes, which seemed alien there, parasitic. Her face was frail, her eyes dark and bright. The meager rations in the Chinese camp had had their effects. In some ways she appeared only a child, then older again a moment later. Her dark hair hung loosely about her shoulders in waveless strands; she looked uncared-for indeed. Yet I had the feeling that once she must have been very pretty. The bow of her mouth was perfect. She had a prim little mouth, the sort which could relax in a bewitching smile or a kissable quirk. Properly dressed and cared for, she should have been attractive.
My eyes relaxed on her lips and I saw them curving down in a wry smile. Then she sighed and turned away. “I know it is hard to believe but I will be eighteen in September,” she announced quietly. My kindest estimate would have been that she was twenty-five.
I switched off the lamp and started the engine. For some time Lin sat staring into the darkness. “You don’t believe me, do you?” she spoke finally.
“Why should you lie to me, Lin?”
“I have no reason to lie to anyone!” She fascinated me. It might have been that quiet, persistent resignation in her voice, her sadness, her way of talking. I sensed some mystery beyond her enigmatic smile and wanted to know more about her.
It was past nine when we arrived at the outskirts of the city. I pulled up and asked Riedl to take over the jeep. “I am taking Lin to eat something,” I told him in German. I helped the girl to the pavement. Riedl slipped behind the wheel and handed the girl her bag.
“What’s in it, Lin?” I asked, reaching for the bag.
She handed it to me with a smile. “Just a few old clothes. No bombs.”
“Nothing valuable?”
“Nothing at all.”
I threw the bag into the open field. “Why did you do it?” she asked me. “I might need them.”
“Let me take care of what you need, Lin,” I said matter-of-factly and turned to Helmut. “I will be back by six.”
“Take care, Hans!”
“I will, don’t worry.”
I took a cab to Ba Dinh square, then we walked until I found the shops I wanted. Half an hour later Lin had a lovely, light-blue “Ao Dai” and a pair of matching shoes.
“Are you satisfied?” I asked and she blushed.
“Satisfied? I don’t really know what to say.”
“What have you eaten today?”
“Not very much,” she admitted reluctantly. “I wouldn’t mind a sandwich or something.”
I took her to a small restaurant. At the entrance she stopped and asked me with concern, “Won’t I embarrass you?”
“Embarrass me? Why?”
“I am… not very… clean.”
“They have a ladies” room and we have time.”
Lin took her time but when she returned a good half an hour later, she looked much younger indeed and she was beautiful. “Do I look a bit more acceptable?” she asked turning on her heels childishly.
“Acceptable, Lin? You look smashing!”
“Thank you, Lieutenant,” she bowed, casting a deep level look at me. I reached for her hand and she accepted my hand gayly. “Let’s go.”
The bar was almost deserted. I led Lin to a secluded table in a quiet corner. “Please, Hans,” she addressed me by my first name for the first time. “Some sandwiches will be fine—for me, of course.”
“You should have a proper meal.”
I ordered curried chicken with rice, salad, fruit salad, some wine, and coffee. Lin glanced around with face flushed and eyes gleaming. “It is so heartening to be among people.”
The waiter came, placing a bottle of wine on the table. He filled our glasses. Lin unbuttoned the uppermost part of her tunic and showed me a small crucifix on a thin silver necklace, apparently very old. “An old missionary sister gave it to me in the brick works where we used to work,” she explained. “She told me that this little cross brought her father back from the Boer War, her husband from Flanders Field, and their son from the Second World War. She gave it to me in the belief that it would show me to freedom.”
“And it seems it did… Where have you been in China, Lin?”
“Near Kweiping.”
“I am glad you weren’t somewhere in the Sinkiang.”
She shook her head slowly. “I don’t think I would ever have returned from there.”
“Was it hard?”
“They were savages!” she burst forth. “You have been a soldier for many years, Hans, but I don’t think that you have seen so many dead people in your life as I have seen in two years. The militia just kept moving from village to village, holding trials, sentencing people to death—sometimes two hundred people in half an hour___” The waiter returned and I was glad for his timely appearance. I felt that our conversation had begun to slip toward painful remembrances and I did not want to upset the girl. When the waiter finally left, I saw Lin was staring at her plate. “Anything wrong, Lin?” She raised her face. Her eyes were filled and she was trying hard to fight back her tears. I placed my hand gently over hers. “What is the matter?”
“Nothing.”
She shook her head. “Only… you see, I haven’t seen a table like this for such a long time and…”
Her lips curled down and quivered.
“Then why don’t you carry on?” I suggested softly.
Lin ate like one who hasn’t really eaten for years. She seemed at a loss and couldn’t decide what to take first. She touched everything, mixed up salt and sugar, slipped her fork, and almost upset the wine. Then she glanced up and her cheeks reddened. “I… I have forgotten how to eat properly…”
“Take your time, Lin.”
A second wave of color flushed her face.
“I am embarrassing you.”
“You do nothing of the sort.”
