Nothing ever is, I thought miserably, picking up the soft toy which Archie had dropped. He’d liked my baby. Crouched in front of my baby. But everyone liked babies.
‘But I think that within six months we’ll have it all straightened out and, hopefully, a settlement in time for the summer.’
‘Marvellous.’ I managed a smile. Stood up.
He looked surprised. Was I ending the interview? Yes, I was. I extended my hand – no, no kisses, Sam – and he slowly got to his feet, removing his glasses.
‘And once again, thank you so much for your professional counsel.’ I sounded like a policeman. Any minute now I’d say: and in conclusion. But hey, I’d got through it. Escaped, some might say. But it didn’t feel like that. I felt I was deceiving him.
Hand shaken, I turned my sleeping child around. The interview I’d dreaded so much was over, and I was on my way. I was a wealthy woman too. The reality of that, the difference it would make to my life, would kick in soon, I was sure. Within moments probably, out there in the high street, when I realized I could buy everything in the shop windows. And then everything else would be put in perspective. Become minutiae, forgotten. Money had a way of talking, didn’t it? Quite loudly. Shouting other things down. It had a way of hushing things up – hushing people up – and shuffling assuredly to the top of the pile. And I was shuffling out. I felt rather light-headed. Was that the money, I wondered? No, I didn’t think so. I hadn’t had any breakfast, which didn’t help, of course. Hadn’t eaten anything at all yesterday, come to think of it. No breakfast before hunting – too scared. No lunch – too busy leaping ruddy great hedges. No supper – too shocked. No breakfast this morning – too scared. A bit of a pattern emerging there, then.
Aware that Sam was watching me, I called a cheery goodbye over my shoulder, but as I wheeled Archie through reception and passed a smiling Janice, I stopped. Felt a bit peculiar.
‘Are you all right, dear?’ She frowned up at me, concerned. ‘You look terribly pale.’
‘Yes. Fine, thanks.’ I took a moment. Was about to push on, then halted again. ‘Um, actually, d’you think you could watch him for me?’
‘Of course.’ She looked surprised. Delighted too, as she bustled round.
I turned and went unsteadily back into Sam’s room. Shut the door behind me. Then I approached his desk. He hadn’t sat down; was still standing thoughtfully, gazing down at the file, fingertips poised on the desk like those of a pianist lingering on a final chord. He glanced up. Looked pleased, if surprised, as I tottered back towards him.
‘I killed your dog,’ I croaked, clutching the edge of his desk.
‘My dog?’
‘Yes. It was me. Kicked it to death.’
‘But … Betsy? I just left her. Asleep in her basket …’
We stared at one another. Slowly the penny dropped.
‘Oh no, not that one,’ I said quickly. ‘The hunt dog. Hound, even.’
He frowned. ‘Peddler?’
‘That’s it. I kicked it. Or Thumper did. Same thing. And although I didn’t dig a grave, I did cover him in bracken. But it was instinctive, sort of – out of respect, like a blanket. I can see how it would look furtive, though. Like I was covering up a murder.’
Murder. I shut my eyes. A mistake. The room spun and I lost my balance, stepping backwards and letting go of the desk. I opened my eyes quickly and put out my hand to steady myself but there was nothing there. Instead my hand went to my forehead, which was damp. Then I saw the floor coming up to meet me, and knew, in a split second, it was too late. I was passing out.
24
When I came round later, I was horizontal. I also appeared to be on a red chenille couch in the corner of a strange room that had a plaster rose in the middle of the ceiling and an ornate but faintly cracked cornice running around the edge. Sam and Janice were gazing down at me; Janice was hovering with a glass of water.
‘Archie –’ I struggled to sit up.
‘He’s here,’ said Sam quickly. He wheeled my still-sleeping child into view near my feet so I could see him. ‘He’s fine.’
I sank back. ‘Did I faint?’
