A Rural Affair

situation before her.

Hannah’s face fell, as did Jamie’s when he was finally released.

‘Oh, Mum?’ he implored.

Dan raised enquiring eyebrows at his wife. Still in a position of power, he was keen to push home the advantage, and Jennie caught the look and hesitated, which was fatal. It was pounced on immediately.

‘Go on, Mum!’ they chorused.

She vacillated. ‘Oh God, we’ll see,’ she said finally, at which massive capitulation a whoop went up from her offspring, including Frankie. ‘I said, we’ll see!’ she cried, but everyone knew she was shot to bits.

‘Come on, you lot.’ Dan took Hannah’s shoulders and turned her about, grinning widely and propelling his family out through the open back door. ‘Back to bed for you. Sorry, Poppy.’ He turned back to me as his offspring scampered excitedly away. ‘I do apologize for intruding so brutishly on your evening, but thank God we got that one sorted out. It was only a matter of time before she accused me of harbouring a love child somewhere in the village, of leading a completely double life.’ This time he couldn’t resist a withering look at his increasingly shamefaced wife. ‘An affair,’ he said incredulously. ‘As if. Who with? And when would I have the time, or the opportunity?’ This, when his younger children were safely over the wall, Frankie in their wake.

‘Well, quite,’ muttered Jennie, looking exhausted suddenly. She ran a weary hand through her hair. ‘Or the bloody energy,’ she added ruefully.

‘And in the marital bed too. What kind of a man d’you take me for?’ He shook his head, lips pursed. ‘I worry about the way your mind works sometimes, Jennie, I really do. In fact I’m increasingly concerned for your moral compass.’ He was enjoying himself now.

‘I was severely provoked,’ replied his wife testily, not one to be contrite for long. ‘And since I’d exhausted all other possibilities – or thought I had … Of course, foolishly, it didn’t occur to me it was your bloody dog shagging around, weeing on sticks –’

‘That’s … my canine dog, I take it,’ put in Dan. ‘Only, just now you accused me of having some dog in bed with me, and I can assure you that whilst Leila and I are very fond of each other we have never crossed that –’

‘Oh, shut up, Dan,’ Jennie interrupted, irritated. ‘You might have the high ground for one split second but we all know it won’t last long. It’ll be shifting under your feet before you can say caught with your trousers down again.’

‘Which is why I’m making the most of it!’ he cried in mock outrage as they trooped off down the lawn together, taking a more conventional route than their children, via my garden gate at the end, then back through theirs. He flung his arm around her shoulders as they went. ‘Why d’you think I’m milking it for all it’s worth? Oh, good evening, Mrs Harper! Yes, the bitch is pregnant, isn’t that joyous? Doesn’t she look well?’ A grey perm scuttled inside in terror. ‘Oh, don’t go,’ Dan cried. ‘Let’s make an evening of it! Why make haste when there’s so much to celebrate? When the night is still young?’ We heard a kitchen door slam firmly. Dan grinned back at me over his shoulder. ‘Night, Poppy.’

‘Night.’ I smiled and went inside.

Jennie, however, not one to leave a drama alone for long, was through that same back door the following morning, as I was bundling my sheets into the washing machine. Clemmie, who had a cold, was playing quietly in the sitting room, and once Jennie had popped in to say hello to her, she installed herself at my kitchen table with a mug of coffee.

‘Puppies!’ she groaned.

‘Now, Jennie,’ I warned, turning round from my machine, ‘I’m not having that. It’s bloody marvellous news. You were euphoric last night. It’s yippee, puppies, remember?’

‘Oh, I know,’ she agreed. ‘And I was still in a good mood when we got in, I promise. I had a lovely hug from Frankie and we even shed a few tears together.’

‘Did you? Oh, good.’

‘Stayed up chatting for ages. She was horrified that we thought she was pregnant but understood why. She also said I’d behaved slightly better than her father, which cheered me. Said she’d had no idea her dad could go off the deep end like that. I told her it was only because he loved her so much and she agreed, grudgingly, then, being Frankie, said, “Oh, so you didn’t, because you don’t?” ’

I laughed. ‘Typical.’

‘I know, and she didn’t mean it. She was only being clever, so I didn’t react. She does that too much, of course. The clever, cynical bit.’

I shrugged. ‘It’s just a defence mechanism. She’ll grow out of it. And she is clever, Jennie. Far too clever to get