else. He lived next door.’
‘Good grief.’ I was fascinated in spite of my own inner turmoil.
‘So I left her. Knew it was hopeless. That’s when she hooked up with Chad.’
‘While you were married?’
‘No, no, we were divorced by then. Chad wouldn’t do that to me.’
‘Did he know about the other men?’
‘Yes, I’d obviously confided in him at the time. He was my best friend. Is my best friend. He knew everything. God, I’ve sobbed on his shoulder often enough. But men are wired differently, Poppy. We have astounding arrogance when it comes to women. Think we can be the one to make a difference, make them change.’
‘Not just men.’ I thought of Phil. How I too had hoped for change.
‘And Hope is … mesmerizing. Very beautiful, very charming, very captivating. If she sets her cap at you, if you’re under her spell … well, I was lucky. I was captivated for quite some time, but I got away. Chad has not been so fortunate.’
‘She’s having an affair with Pete the farrier,’ I told him, as it suddenly dawned on me. ‘I saw them together, in his jeep in the field.’
‘Yes, she is. I saw them too. It’s been going on a while.’
Which was why Angie’s advances had been rejected, it occurred to me: Pete already had somewhere to go after shoeing the horses of the village. And of course he and Hope had met at the book club. I remembered Hope appreciating his looks.
‘Does Chad know?’
‘I’m sure he suspects. But I haven’t told him. I did tell Hope I might, though, if she doesn’t watch out. If she doesn’t mend her ways.’
My mind flew back to Sam standing in his great hall by the window at the dance; Hope blushing at the floor, looking up at him through her lashes. No doubt agreeing she’d try.
‘She’s amoral, Poppy, so fat chance. Some people just are. A lot of men, but a surprising number of women too. And I mind very much for Chad. I got out, but I don’t think Chad ever will. And Hope hates that I’ve escaped. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that’s why they’re here, but a bit of me thinks Hope brought him to England, to this area, knowing I was bound to come back. She’d like us to be in an eternal triangle for ever, killing everyone softly. But I’m not playing that game. I have to see her because I love my friend dearly, but I despise her now. And that took a long time. For a while I couldn’t stop loving her. Was very hurt.’
I swallowed. Felt very brown-coated suddenly. Very unmesmerizing.
‘Why are you telling me this?’
‘Because this is the first time I’ve felt anything again. When you first burst into this room, Poppy, with your baby son in your arms, struggling up the stairs with your pushchair, I felt something stir. Something inside me relax and unwind, and each time I see you, it’s with the same gathering excitement, the same surge of pleasure, and each time you go, I wonder when I’m going to see you again. You, with your sweet smile and your slightly chaotic way of tumbling through life.’
This was more like me to be sure, and although astonished, frankly I was ready to vault the desk. I sized it up. Only four feet, surely, and I’d done long jump at school. I held myself together, though.
‘You had no idea?’ he asked.
‘None!’
‘Too busy letting that organ-grinder chappie sniff around,’ he said bitterly.
‘Luke! How d’you know about him?’
‘Oh … I know pretty much everything about you, Poppy, that’s my tragedy. My affliction.’ He massaged his brow, in despair almost.
I gaped, astounded. ‘But – you’ve given me no indication, no suggestion!’ I finally found my voice.
‘I sent you tickets.’
‘What tickets?’
‘To the ball.’
‘You did?’
‘Yes, I put them through your door.’
‘But … I thought that was Mark! Why didn’t you say?’
