“One question at a time, Counsel,” the judge says.
“She didn’t say much,” Jessica says, before a new questionis posed. No one seems inclined to stop her, under the circumstances. “She-Iasked her what had happened. She said she didn’t want to talk about it. Shewent upstairs and that was that.”
“And what did you do?”
“I-she went to bed. I asked her if she wanted anything. Ifshe was feeling well. She just wanted to go to bed.”
“And you didn’t talk to her again that night?”
“No. I finally went to my bedroom and went to sleep.”
“Then let’s go to the following morning, Jessica. The dayafter Sam Dillon’s murder.”
Allison’s attorney objects. This being the first day of thetrial, there has been no testimony fixing the date of Sam’s death as Saturdaynight, February seventh. The judge sustains the objection. Roger Ogrenrephrases.
“Sunday morning,” Jessica says. “I woke up about ten. I wentto get the paper. I made some eggs and started studying.”
“When did you see your mother?”
“I went upstairs at about noon. She is-she’s usually anearly riser, so-I was wondering, I guess, if something-if she was sick orsomething.”
“And when-”
“She was in her room. She said she didn’t feel very well.She said she was still feeling sick and wanted to be left alone.”
“And what did you do?”
Jessica pauses. She has not looked in Allison’s directionyet. She is concentrating on something other than the question, to the pointthat Roger Ogren steps forward to ask the question again.
“I went into her bedroom. I offered to make her something toeat. Get her some aspirin.”
“Where was she at this time?”
“She was-still in bed.”
“Did she respond to you?”
“She said-” Jessica clears her throat. “She said that shewanted to tell me something. She said that I might be hearing-”
Allison closes her hands into fists as her daughter breaksdown quietly on the witness stand. Her lawyer, Ron McGaffrey, begins to moveout of his seat, but Allison takes his hand.
“Let her get it over with,” Allison whispers to her lawyer.
An uncommon quiet falls over the courtroom as Jessicastruggles to control herself. She finally raises her head again, her eyes darkand wet, a shade of red coloring her face. She inhales deeply and continues.
“She said that I might be hearing things about her. She toldme that she had been having an affair with Sam Dillon. She said she was sorryshe had done it and she wanted me to hear it from her first.”
“Your mother said that she had an affair with Sam Dillon?”
“Yes.”
“And how did you respond?”
“I. . walked out. I was very mad.I. . had always hoped my parents would reconcile, I guess.I. . didn’t like hearing about another-” Her eyes fall. “Ileft the house and went back to campus.”
Roger Ogren asks Jessica questions about what came next,after Sam Dillon’s death. Jessica had read about his death in the papers, likeeveryone else, she says, the following Monday, one day after Sam was found deadand a day and a half after he was murdered.
“Did you discuss this with your mother, Jessica? The murderof Sam Dillon?”
“I called her. I left a message on her voice mail.”
“This was Tuesday, February the tenth.”
“Yes.”
“Did she call you back?”
“She came to see me,” Jessica says. “At my dorm at thecollege.”
Allison stood outside her daughter’s dorm room. She hadknocked, several times, to no avail. Jessica wasn’t there. She didn’t know howlong she would be gone. Allison didn’t know her class schedule, which wasunusual. This was the first semester since Jessica had enrolled at Mansburythat Allison couldn’t recite the title, professor, and time of each class. Shehad been like that with her only daughter, twenty questions all the time,trying to involve herself wherever possible in the life of a child who hadslowly grown independent of her mother, trying to keep the bird who had flownfrom the nest on the radar screen, at least.
But that had changed this year. Jessica had blamed Allisonfor the breakup of the marriage. She had left no room for doubt on thatsubject. It was terribly unfair, in Allison’s eyes; Jessica was focusing onlyon the result, not the cause. Allison had raised the subject, had wanted thedivorce, and that was all that mattered to Jess. Her daughter did not know thedetails of why, and Allison wouldn’t supply them, at least not in a way thatplaced all the blame on Mat. She didn’t want it that way; she didn’t wantJessica in the middle of a he-said, she-said. We drifted apart, was all shetold her daughter, unsure of what, exactly, Mat had told her.
She didn’t know when Jessica would return to her dorm room.She didn’t know Jessica’s classes, the friends she was making, any boys shemight be interested in. She couldn’t even be sure she had the right roomanymore. She had to ask a young girl who emerged from a neighboring room, whowas waking at a little before noon, if this was where Jessica Pagone lived.
She stood in the hallway for more than an hour, watchedstudents return from class, heard them talking on the phones in their rooms.She couldn’t entirely relate; she hadn’t gone to college like other girls herage. Allison had gotten pregnant as a senior in high school and hadn’t startedtaking classes until Jessica was in grade school. She had desperately wantedJessica to have this experience, the college life.
Her daughter walked down the hallway just after one o’clock,a backpack slung over her shoulder, her eyes down, frowning. When she saw hermother, she went blank, face turned ghostly white. She became immediately awareof her surroundings, of two other young women walking through the hallway, to whomJessica offered a perfunctory smile.
She didn’t address her mother in any way, simply unlockedher dorm room and let Allison follow her in.
“This was Tuesday, the tenth of February,” the prosecutorclarifies. “Two days after Sam Dillon was found dead. A little after one in theafternoon.”
“Right.” Jessica breathes out of her mouth.
“Tell us what happened, Jessica. What you said. What yourmother said.”
Jessica clears her throat, grimaces. “She told me Ishouldn’t call her on the phone.”
“You never know who might be listening,” Allison had toldher daughter. “And they can record the fact that you called. They can look atthat later.”
“She didn’t explain why,” Jessica continues. “She just said,don’t use the phone.”
“And what else, Jessica?” Ogren places his hands behind hisback.
“She told me that she had been sick yesterday and the nightbefore.”
The prosecutor nods along. “She came all the way down toyour college campus to emphasize to you that her behavior that weekend could beexplained by the fact that she had been feeling ill?”
“Objection,” says Ron McGaffrey. “Argumentative.”
“Sustained.”
“Other than telling you not to call her on the phone, andthe fact that she had been ill the previous weekend, what else did your mothersay to you, or you to her?”
“It’s-” Jessica brings a hand to her face. “It was a whileago.”
Roger Ogren looks at the judge. He waits a beat to see ifJessica will continue.
“Did you ask your mother if she had murdered Sam Dillon?” heasks.
Allison stood against the window, overlooking the courtyardsurrounded on all sides by the dormitories. Jessica sat on her bed, not lookingat her mother, hands on each side of her head.
“You can’t say one way or the other whether I killed SamDillon,” Allison said.
“You didn’t kill him, Mother. You couldn’t possibly-”
“Jess, they’ll expect you to say that.” Her delivery wasgentle. “They’ll expect you to defend your mother.
