Treason Keep

describing the power of the Overlord, preaching in a rasping, but impassioned voice that R’shiel found more irritating than comforting.

He pleads my case most eloquently.

He’s a nuisance. If you truly want to ease my pain, getting rid of Garanus would be a good start.

As you wish. Without warning, Garanus broke off mid-sentence and left the room. I would give you anything you asked for, R’shiel.

So long as I promise not to kill you, she added wryly.

That would be a reasonable expectation, don’t you think?

You can’t give me what I want, Xaphista.

I can give you anything. You have but to ask.

Free me, then. Take this collar from me. Let me feel the power again.

Ah! I’m not certain I trust you that much, demon child.

Then what do I need you for? You are the reason for my pain.

Not I, R’shiel. It is the Primal gods who want you to suffer.

The Primal gods created me.

And they live in fear of their creation. Who do you think allowed this to happen?

It is your followers who hold me prisoner.

For your protection, nothing more. The Primal gods have interfered in your life enough.

What are you talking about?

Can you be so blind, child? They wish to destroy me. Why do you think you were raised in the Citadel? No child raised by the Harshini could contemplate killing, even with human blood.

Brak seems to manage.

He is as much a creature of the Primal gods as you are.

Are you telling me the Primal gods made Joyhinia adopt me?

That’s exactly what I’m telling you. They picked the most ruthless, cold-hearted bitch they could find to raise you. How else could they ensure you had the skills to commit murder? They engineered your suffering, R’shiel. They have manipulated you since you were born.

You’re delusional, Xaphista, as well as power hungry.

It is you who are deluded. Do you think your love for Tarja is an accident? Or his for you? Of course not! Kalianah made it happen.

Why?

Just to make you suffer. Think what it has cost you. Loclon raped you because Tarja loves you.

The last time I looked, Loclon was on your side. He misjudged her badly if he thought that was going to persuade her to his cause.

You will see the truth eventually, demon child. I pray that it will not be too late.

He left her then, leaving R’shiel with a puzzling thought. Xaphista was a god. To whom did he pray?

They left Cauthside and continued their journey north the third day after the river crossing. Outwardly, R’shiel showed no more interest on this side of the river than she had on the other. Garanus no longer came to her each night to aid her conversion, but little else changed. She woke, she ate, she rode in the carriage, then ate and slept where she was told. The routine never varied; it was unlikely she would have noticed if it had.

Her retreat was no longer peaceful, though. Her silent haven had been disturbed by Xaphista’s poisonous logic.

Was she really just a pawn, manipulated since birth to become a weapon the Primal gods could use against their enemy? Was Tarja’s love for her simply imposed on him? Had the Primal gods sat back and let Loclon do what he had done to her, hoping it would toughen her up? The idea seemed ludicrous at first, but the longer she thought about it, the more credibility it gained.

And what of Xaphista? Was he really so evil? And who was she to judge what was evil anyway? Xaphista had hurt her, there was no denying that; her current predicament was entirely attributable to him, but he was fighting for his survival. Were his actions any worse than those of the Primal gods?

For the first time since retreating into herself, R’shiel began to hunger for release. It was no longer peaceful here. Memories she had no wish to confront began to plague her. Thoughts she had no wish to contemplate refused to go away.

You see? Everything you hold dear is a lie, Xaphista told her seductively. Tarja’s love is no more real than this place. The Harshini secretly despise you, else why would they let you leave Sanctuary? Even the Primal gods fear you. You are a weapon, R’shiel, to be aimed and pointed by whoever holds your heart in his hands. Don’t let them use you.

You would use me just as soon as the Primal gods.

I offer you something in return. I can ease your pain. I can help you.

How? By suppressing my emotions like the Harshini did? That was simply an illusion and it hurt tenfold when they released it. I’ve no wish to experience it again.

I can do better than that, demon child. I can take away the memories that pain you.

Those memories make me who I am.

Then perhaps you should think about who you would rather be.

I won’t be your pawn, Xaphista.

I offer you a partnership, R’shiel, not bondage.

Perhaps, she thought once he was gone. But when it comes to the gods, who can tell the difference?

Chapter 58

Tarja set a gruelling pace as they fled the border. Jenga had promised to stall the Kariens as long as he was able, but even in Tarja’s most optimistic estimate that gave them a start of only a day or two. Adrina kept up and did not complain, despite the fact that her backside felt bruised to the bone and her inner thighs were rubbed raw. They ate cold rations when they stopped each night, and collapsed into their bedrolls under an open sky.

As a child Adrina had been entranced by the bards who sang long, romantic ballads about lovers on the run who spent all day galloping toward freedom and all night making love. What utter nonsense, she thought, dismounting gingerly in the small grove of trees Tarja had chosen for their camp that night. Damin proved to be more human than heroic. He looked tired and haggard and even he walked a bit stiffly, despite a lifetime spent in the saddle. For some reason his discomfort made her feel a little better.

Their numbers had thinned considerably since they left the border. Following Damin’s lead, Tarja had broken his men into much smaller groups and dispatched them south with orders to muster at an abandoned vineyard south of Testra, where he seemed to think they would be safe until he could join them. There were barely a hundred men left, and less than half of those were Damin’s Raiders. The rest were Defenders and the remainder of her Guard. When they crossed the Glass River at Cauthside, they would split up once more. Tarja and his men would head for the Citadel, while Damin continued south for Hythria.

Adrina knew the reason for Tarja’s mission, although he rarely spoke of it.

Something had happened to R’shiel.

Adrina prayed it was nothing serious. Tarja would not rest until he discovered the demon child’s fate. It was