Cinnamon Roll Murder

1 teaspoon salt

? cup white (granulated) sugar (yes, that’s in addi- tion to the sugar above)

3 to 3 and ? cups all-purpose flour (pack it down in the cup when you measure it)

Ingredients for the Filling:

? cup (1 stick, 4 ounces, ? pound) salted butter,

softened to room temperature

1 Tablespoon ground cinnamon

? cup white (granulated) sugar

1 cup semisweet (regular) chocolate chips

Ingredients for the Pan:

2 Tablespoons softened butter

2 Tablespoons white (granulated) sugar

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Ingredients for the Icing:

1 cup powdered (confectioner’s) sugar

1 Tablespoon salted butter, melted

1 Tablespoon milk

? teaspoon vanilla

In a small microwave-safe container, combine the hot coffee with the half-cup milk. Microwave it on HIGH for 30 seconds.

Stir in the Tablespoon of white sugar. Then pour a half-cup of the mixture into another container.

Add the packet of yeast to the microwave-safe container and gently stir it in. Let it sit on the counter to proof (that’s what they call it when yeast starts working and bubbling) while you ...

Melt the butter in another small microwave container. It should only take about 30 seconds on HIGH. Add the Tablespoon of vegetable oil and let it sit on the counter to cool.

In a medium-size bowl, use a wooden spoon or a fork to beat the egg with the salt, the white sugar, and the coffee and milk mixture that does NOT contain the yeast.

Feel the small bowl with the butter and oil mixture. If it’s not so hot it could cook the egg, stir it into your work bowl.

Add 1 and ? cups of the flour. Stir it in and continue to stir until the mixture is smooth.

Now add the yeast mixture. (See how puffy it is? Your yeast is working.) Stir it in gently.

Add 1 and ? more cups of flour in half-cup increments, stirring after each addition. (Remember to pack it down in the cup!) If the dough seems sticky, add that last half-cup of flour and stir that in.

Now comes the fun. Clear a space on your counter for the bread board. If you don’t have a bread board, just clear a nice clean space on your counter.

Dust your work space with flour, spreading it out in a circle with your impeccably clean palms. Then upend your work bowl and plop the dough down on your floured circle. Sprinkle more flour over the top of your dough. Then grab it and flip it over so the bottom is now the top.

Think about that old boyfriend who broke up with you in high school, or anyone else in your past you’d really like to slap or punch. Visualize that person’s face in the center of your mound of dough, pick up one edge and punch it down hard in the center of the dough. Fun, wasn’t it?

Turn your dough clockwise and do it all over again. Keep turning and punching and pummeling that dough for the whole 5 minutes, flipping it over every minute or so to make sure you’re also kneading the bottom.

When 5 minutes are up, gather the dough into a ball on the board or counter.

Wash and dry your hands.

If you haven’t already done so, take ? cup of salted butter out of the refrigerator so that it will be softened by the time you need to make the filling for your rolls.

Spray the inside of a much larger bowl with Pam or another nonstick cooking spray. Pick up the dough and nestle it right down in the bowl you prepared.

Wash and dry your bread board (or your counter if you didn’t use a bread board) . Tear off a sheet of plastic wrap that’s larger than the surface of your dough, and stretch it out on the space you washed. Spray it with nonstick cooking spray, lift it up, and cover the dough in your bowl, sprayed side down, so it’s touching the surface of the dough. Tuck it in around the dough so that the dough will stay nice and warm.

Set the bowl in a warm, draft-free place and let it rise for 1 to 1 and ? hours or until it’s doubled in size.

Sprinkle your bread board or counter again with a light coating of flour.

Turn the work bowl upside down on the floured board so that the dough will come out. (If it sticks, just scoop it out with your hands.)

Sprinkle the mound of dough lightly with flour, punch it down with your palms, and roll it out with a rolling pin into a 9-inch by 13-inch rectangle. (That’s the size of the cake pan you’ll be using to bake your Special Cinnamon Rolls.)

Spread the surface of the rectangle with the softened butter. (If you forgot to soften it, give it 30 second in the microwave on HIGH to half-melt it and then spread it out on your dough.) Let your dough sit there in all its buttery goodness while you make the rest of the topping.

Mix ? cup white (granulated) sugar with the Tablespoon of cinnamon. (I do this with a fork.) Sprinkle this sugar and cinnamon mixture over the top of the rectangle of dough.

Sprinkle the cup of chocolate chips on top of the sugar and cinnamon mixture as evenly as you can.

Starting from one of the long sides of the rectangle, roll it up tightly like a jelly roll. Since you don’t have 8 hands, you’ll have to work from side to side, rolling a little bit up at a time in order to get it nice and even. Pinch the edge to the surface of the roll so that it will stay closed.

Spread the bottom of a 9-inch by 13-inch rectangular cake pan with the 2 Tablespoons of softened butter.