She Who Has No Name

The effort seemed futile however-like raking leaves on a windy day-for,with every speck of energy he gathered into himself, more spilled from the gaping hole in his chest. He called and called, wishing he could scream out to the world and have it obey him, for everything was just happening far too slowly for it to make any difference. Soon, he would die.

Then he felt something cold upon his finger and with a sudden shock, all the lingering energy in the room seemed to rush in towards him. With the power of the Argum Stone to assist him, he could gather all the power he needed as simply as wishing for it. He gathered all that wayward life force into himself, healing himself, undoing the awful harm done unto his body.

The power of the ring was incredible, and with it he could call to everything-not just the fading spirits that wafted from their battered shells, but the more vital energies that hid within fleshy casings. As he called, more vibrant power came flooding into him.

The world around was still darkness to his blinded vision, but these clusters of life energy shone out to him irresistibly. He only had to direct his will towards them and they entered him one by one.

As he surveyed the courtyard, he spied a clot of shadow lingering near the doorway, clogged with blackness, and so he turned his attention away from that-for it was not worth considering. A cluster of brilliant power across the room was far more appealing and so he focussed upon that with vigour.

As he began to gather it, the spot blazed like a bonfire in a sudden wind. He turned his gaze away momentarily, for the brightness had dazzled him, but so,too,had it excited him. The more the energy blazed and struggled, the more it enticed him. The outer strips of life began unravelling and tumbling in towards him and he found that a deeper, sweeter power was hidden underneath. He drew that in as well, relishing in delight as he devoured it.

All he could think wasI can live! I can live!as he swallowed all the energy in the room.

He had forgotten the battle that had earlier waged around him and it seemed as if all the sounds of fighting had vanished,lost amongst the sound of power rushing in his ears. He knew he was still lying there on the hard stones, and that this was all some kind of fantasy that one felt just before death, but it seemed so strange and real.

A sound caught his ear and he returned his attention to that last bloom of light that had proven so nourishing. There was hardly anything of it remaining, yet it called out to him in a pained and pleading voice, calling his name and asking for him to stop. Its voice sounded familiar, but dreams had a way of making things seem confusing. After another moment, the room was silent and everything was again dark and cold and quiet, and he knew the dream had ended.

Tucked away in the darkness, Samuel felt a burning in his eyes, but for some reason he could not force himself to weep. All he wanted to do was wallow in his misery, for he now realised what he had done, and he knew what had become of Grand Master Tudor. He damned himself for being so weak and for giving in to the evil that lurked inside him. He damned himself, for it had felt so good.

‘Father!’ came the voice of a child. ‘Wake up! Get up! ’

The image of a dead man, lying on a hard floor and staring-masked in blood-filled his mind. He refused to let the memories of that dark night come back to him and he pushed them from his mind as they struggled at the edge of his attention. Instead, a vast city came into view through the clouds of his dream. It wasset beside a glittering sea and surrounded by great pale walls that were beyond comparison. Cintar, it was called, and this city was the jewel of Amandia; perfect in every way and envied by every ruler who had ever come to behold it.

A seething host filled the lands around that city and they threw themselves against the walls without respite. In turn, swarms of gold and blue adorned men amassed on the walls and defended their city with arrows and stones and vats of boiling oil. Magic leapt from wall to ground and was returned in equal portion, but it seemed the battle was evenly matched. The city could not be taken, yet the invaders could not be dispelled.

Greatcarapacedbeasts lumbered across the pastures toheave themselvesat the walls, and the armies parted to make way for them. Enormousboulders flew at the beasts, but the beasts seemed resilient to everything. Then, the vision faded and the roar of the battle subsided.

‘Hello?’ came a voice and Samuel found himself standing in his room within the palace. At first, he could not tell if this was still a part of his dream or if he had actually awoken-somehow freed from his nightmares.

The Koian woman was leaning in the doorway, with guards visible at her back. She looked straight towards him, and he tried to answer back, but that image, too, faded and the Koian woman disappeared from view.

He caught flashes of her after that, standing in her room, or sitting idly in the gardens, or lying in her bed in the middle of the night. Each time, shewouldlook up, as if startled by his presence, before the scene would vanish and he would be left wandering in senseless dreams. He struggled to return to her, because for some reason he could not stop thinking about her and she was the only thing that made sense in this world of pain and anguish.

Whereat first she had confounded and annoyed him, he now found her intriguing and compelling. What he had considered to be her stubbornness and ignorance now seemed to be strength of will and innocence. Whereonce he had thought of her asalien and unsightly, he had grown to find her beautiful and fascinating.

More and more,he caught glimpses of her life in the palace and it seemed that the days were passing ever so quickly, for,every time he saw her,she was dressed differently, or the sun lay in different parts of the sky. Still, he strived as much as he could to stay by her side, for the alternative to being with her was unthinkable: the deep and silent void that lingered at the edge of his conscience, threatening to engulf him.

At times, she seemed to feel him, and she spoke as if to him, but the words were always muffled and unintelligible. He tried to speak back to her, but the sound caught in his throat. All he could do was hover at her side and follow her as she wandered forlornly down the halls, ever shadowed by Shara and a pair of watchful Paatin guards.

She visited the Emperor at times and Samuel saw them sitting and talking in muted tones. Although they often laughed and talked pleasantly, they both seemed distracted by a longing in their hearts. When she left the Emperor’s room, she was as quiet and lonely as before.

‘I miss you so,’ he heard her say, late one night as he hovered by her bed. It seemed incredible that he could hear her voice. ‘Oh,my Love. How foolish I have been.’

He tried to reply, but he had no mouth to speak. It seemed he was only a dream within a dream, and such things could never capture the wind to craft words from their throats.

He stayed with her intermittently throughout the days and nights. He could not control the duration or the frequency of such stays and,as soon as he started to feel he was gaining a hold on this existence, everything would fade away into the distance as he was drawn back into the darkness, forever infuriating him.

She talked to him in all her quiet moments and he could not ever imagine leaving her side. She spoke often of the baby growing in her swollenbelly, and he remembered their shared moment of tenderness. All he could do was damn himself for not realising his love for her sooner and he hoped that, perhaps, this dream would end and he would wake beside her, safe and well.

‘Have you forsaken me already?’ came another voice in his dream, and he imagined Leila looking at him with sadness. ‘Don’t worry,’ she said, regaining her strength and smiling once again. ‘I forgive you, Samuel. Our life together was wonderful, but all things must change eventually. Be with her…be happy. I could not wish anything but happiness for you. You know I will always love you, and I know, in your way, you will still always love me. That’s all I ever wanted. My life was short, but you made it wonderful.’

He imagined her turning softly and stepping away into the shadows,and he could feel whatseemedlike tears welling in his eyes, although they were hot and burned their way down his cheeks. Thoughts and dreams and reality had no boundaries any more, for without being able to wake, all such things had become as one.

Time seemed to pass like wandering aeons and,at times, Samuel broke from his dreams of the living and floundered more and more on the edge of waking. Less and less, he was able to visit the Koian woman and more often he found himself yelling in pain or caught in the nightmarishdeliriumof a fever. At one point, he realised he