farm experiments. And when Annie’s mother died, it fell to Annie to cook everyone dinner, after which her father and Rally would retreat to the cellar just as before.
Indeed, as a child, it didn’t take Annie long to realize that the only time she ever heard her father laugh was when he was with Rally. And when her mother was still alive, on those nights when the men went down into the cellar, pretty soon Annie would begin to hear this strange music—usually some lady singing in French—and then her father and Rally would start laughing and talking in what sounded to her like baby talk. The two of them would emerge from the cellar around midnight, snickering and smiling stupidly with their eyes all red.
They were drinking moonshine down there. Annie was sure of that. Her mother had told her so—had even warned Annie never to go down there when Rally was over. That was the rule; that was the “men’s time,” she used say. But Annie didn’t listen, and crept down into the cellar one night when she was nine, after her mother and James had fallen asleep watching TV in the den.
Annie came upon them in the workroom, just as they were pouring some liquid into some strange-shaped glasses with spoons across them. They swirled the glasses and clinked them and said something to each other in their nonsense talk. They had been down there for a while at this point; and the whole cellar smelled like licorice and cigarette smoke and other stuff that the little girl didn’t recognize. The light in the workroom was yellow, the old black-and-white TV in the corner tuned to static with the volume off. The French lady was singing, the men laughing, and when they turned and saw Annie standing in the doorway, Claude Lambert smiled wide and said:
Rally laughed his Muttley laugh—but Annie just stood in the doorway, gaping.
“I said go away, green fairy,” her father repeated. “Come down here again and I’ll cut off your head and use it for a flower vase.”
Annie thought their eyes looked like Ping-Pong balls made of fire, their smiles like the Cheshire Cat’s from her
From then on, when Rally showed up on Friday nights, Annie stayed with her mother and James in the den. Even James wasn’t allowed in the cellar, which seemed to suit him just fine. True, her brother had always been a sullen boy with nothing much to say, but Annie could tell from the look on his face that, when Rally was around, he was afraid of going down into the cellar just as much as she was.
Rally continued his visits long after Annie’s mother died, even after Edmund was born, and started stopping by on Saturday nights, too. However, things always seemed quieter in the cellar. There were still the same smells, the same music and nonsense talk, but it was different somehow. Things were different with her father, too. They’d never had much to say to each other, but now, when he returned from the fields or when he came up from the cellar, Claude Lambert would hardly even look at her; would only ask whether or not supper was ready or if the laundry was done.
In fact, the longest conversation Annie ever had with her father was on the night she told him she was pregnant. But even then Annie did most of the talking.
She had to admit that she was partly to blame for getting herself knocked up, and wondered sometimes if she hadn’t done so subconsciously simply to get a rise out of the old man. She didn’t even like Danny Gibbs really. Only went out with him in his ?69 Camaro to make Mike Higgins jealous, and because Higgins was going out with Wendy Morris on the same night. That was dumb, yes, but what was even dumber was getting into the backseat with him and his bottle of Southern Comfort. It all happened so fast; kisses, groping, and the clamminess of his pressing in the dark—then the protestations, the suddenness of her hands pinned behind her head and her legs spread apart.
“It ain’t your choice now,” Danny whispered in her ear.
Then came the pain.
Oh yes, Annie Lambert’s first time had hurt badly, but was over so fast that she wondered in her drunken haze whether or not it had really happened at all.
The blood on her panties when she got home told her it had. But Danny Gibbs also told her he loved her; asked her to the senior prom that very night and said he couldn’t wait to see her again. Annie said nothing and bolted from his car to make her twelve o’clock curfew. She took her shower and rinsed her panties and got into bed; didn’t bother waking her father, who was passed out with Rally in front of the television. And had her brother James not been at a tractor pull with his cousin that evening, Annie might have had to spill the beans right then and there.
Later, alone in the dark, Annie Lambert cried herself to sleep amid a haze of confusion and shame, blaming Danny Gibbs for what happened even as she asked her mother to forgive her from beyond the grave. And by the following Monday, Annie had resolved to put the incident behind her; had accepted what she thought was her guilt in the matter and vowed never to be so stupid with a boy again.
But when Danny Gibbs came up to her locker before first period, Annie told him to get lost and then slapped him in the face when he called her a slut. Danny knew better than to brag to his friends about his little rendezvous with Annie Lambert in the back of his Camaro; for although her brother James was two years his junior, the six- foot-two sixteen-year-old had made a name for himself as the toughest kid at Wilson High.
And had Annie not missed her period a couple of weeks later; had she not started throwing up in the mornings soon after that, the slap she gave Danny Gibbs might have been the end of it. A visit to the school nurse, however, confirmed what she already knew, and Annie sat her father down in the kitchen and told him through her tears everything that happened. And after a long silence, rather than flying into a rage as she thought he might, Claude Lambert surprised Annie with the most words he’d ever spoken to her in a single sitting.
“I reckon I’m to blame, too,” he said. “Always left the disciplining to your mother, even though I knew it was up to me to get you straight in your head. I should have talked to you more; or different, at least. That might have helped, but I didn’t see any of that coming. Shouldn’t have let you run so wild these past couple of years, neither.” Then, another long silence, after which he said simply: “Don’t worry, Annie. I’ll take care of it for you.”
And that was that.
Then again, the old man didn’t have to work too hard on her brother to get him to go after Danny Gibbs with the shotgun. Didn’t really have to do anything other than drop a couple of hints about “family honor” and “the duty of a man,” upon which James walked right into Danny Gibbs’s trailer and blew his head off while he was playing Atari.
Everybody who knew the Lamberts thought James was a carbon copy of his father inside and out. Heavily built with big hands and a brooding, quiet demeanor. And he worshipped the old man like Jesus Christ himself; would’ve shot a hundred Danny Gibbses if the old man had asked him to. Theirs was a relationship to which Annie would forever be an outsider; a riddle wrapped up in hours of backyard catch and deer-hunting trips up to Virginia. Sometimes Rally would tag along on those trips, but mostly it was just the two of them, father and son.
Looking back, Annie concluded that early on she must have accepted her father’s lack of interest because she had her mother—father loves son more, mother loves daughter more, everything vice versa, everything simple as that. And even though deep down she was secretly grateful for what her brother did to Danny Gibbs, Annie also knew deep down that Claude Lambert had sacrificed his son’s future not only to redeem his family’s name, but also to make things up to her.
At least, she
And strangely, Annie accepted the whole Danny Gibbs incident with little or no emotion whatsoever; watched it all unfold before her like the plot of one of those silly soaps her mother used to watch in the afternoons. Annie’s mother was all for her involvement in the drama club, and used to say stuff like, “You’re a better actress than them TV sluts. Like that time you dumped out that moonshine and filled the jar up with water? They shoulda given you the Academy Award for your performance afterwards.”
Of course, Annie had been telling the truth when she denied dumping out the moonshine, but it was the way her mother always forgave her afterwards—the slightly bigger pieces of pie at dessert, the kisses and hugs at bedtime, the walks by the pond to pick flowers just the two of them—well, it made having to take a beating because of the ghost or James or whoever it was framing her all worth it.
And Annie was able to turn all that nonsense with the head banging and the cutting and the ringing in her ears into a positive anyway; was able to somehow channel the same kind of emotion she used when she was
