“No, there isn’t. And I’m not interested in admonishing you for your skills in seducing women. I’m interested in finding out why and how you got this way. I want to explain to women what makes a drifter, like you, tick.”
“A drifter?”
“Yes. That’s your archetype. You move from place to place, never settling down. You lead women to believe they may just have what it takes to make you commit. And when you get bored, you move on.”
“Back up a second, here. I never made any promises.”
“Exactly!” Angela said. “That’s exactly what I expected you to say. But how do you think that makes women feel?”
He stood up, shaking his head. “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry if I acted like an ass. Write that on your Web site or in your book. I’m doing my best to make some changes in my life. And now, I really have to go.”
With that, he grabbed his jacket and his computer and walked out of the room. Angela hurried after him. “I really would like to speak to you in more detail,” she called. “Could I phone you?”
Charlie strode down the hall, then shoved open the door and stepped out into the cool spring night. Maybe he’d been fooling himself all along. Perhaps Angela Weatherby knew him better than he knew himself. And Eve knew him best of all.
“THE RASPBERRY AND RADISH salad was huge tonight,” Lily said, flipping through the dinner tickets. “The mushroom and leek tartlet went well, too. And that lavender ice cream with a pear crumble was incredible. You have to put those recipes in the new book.”
“I haven’t had a chance to even think about the new book.”
“You have been a bit distracted,” Lily said. “So, how are things going with the new man? Or would he be the new old man?”
“I have no idea what or who he is,” Eve said. “Sometimes, I really wish I could go back to the way things were before he showed up for lunch. My life was so simple. I could focus on my cooking.” She closed her eyes and groaned. “I am so confused.” She looked at Lily. “Do I really want a man in my life right now?”
“Of course you do,” Lily said. “Especially that man.” She reached out and rubbed Eve’s shoulder. “Eve, you need to relax and let things unfold naturally. I know you like to plan, but a relationship is not like a recipe. No matter how hard you try to control the ingredients, it’s never going to come out perfect in the end. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be delicious.”
A shiver skittered down Eve’s spine. It was delicious already. Every moment she spent with Charlie was suffused with desire. No matter what they were doing, all she had to do was reach out and touch him and she was reminded of what they shared in the bedroom.
She’d never been with a man who’d made her feel so sexual. And when she was with him, she felt energized, alive, like she could conquer the world. And yet, she felt that same nervous energy that she had when her marriage was falling apart-the need to control every facet of the relationship.
If only she could follow Lily’s advice-to just let go and allow her emotions to lead her. She recalled a comment that one of her mentors at culinary school had given her. Unless she invested her heart and soul in her cooking, there would always be something missing from her plate.
“Chef?”
Sarah stood in the kitchen door. “What’s up?” Eve asked.
“Charlie is out front. He wants to talk to you.”
“Tell him to come in,” Eve said.
“He said he needed to talk to you outside.”
Eve frowned. “All right.” No doubt, he wanted her alone for a few minutes. Although, why he couldn’t wait an hour until she got home, Eve didn’t know. She walked through the main dining room and then into the bar. His silhouette was visible through the plate glass window at the front of the restaurant.
She paused for a moment, noting the tense set of his shoulders. He was pacing back and forth from the door to the street. Drawing a deep breath, she pulled the bandanna off her head and set it on the bar.
As Eve stepped out into the cool night, she ruffled her short-cropped hair. “I thought we were going to meet at your place after your speech,” Eve said.
He turned to face her. Eve’s breath caught in her throat. It was clear he was angry. But beyond that, she saw something else in his eyes. Hurt? Indecision? Regret? What was it?
“You’re VeggieLuv, aren’t you?” he asked, walking toward her.
Eve heard a gasp slip from her lips and she quickly scrambled for an explanation. Though the Web site was easy to access, what were the chances that he’d stumble upon it by himself? Someone must have told him. But who?
“Are you?” Charlie asked. He held up his hand, silencing her reply. “Never mind. You don’t need to tell me. It’s good to know how you really feel about me.”
“How I felt,” Eve said. “Past tense. I wrote that a year ago. After my divorce. And after a very large bottle of wine and a big dose of self-pity.”
“You know what? You’re right. You were right about it all. I can’t commit. I can’t bring myself to consider the possibility that there might be just one woman out there for me. One woman who I’ll spend the rest of my life loving.”
“I never asked you for a commitment,” Eve said. “Just the opposite. You are who you are, and I’ve accepted that.”
“Don’t,” he said. “Because the guy I used to be was a first-rate ass.” He raked his hands through his hair. “But it’s really good to know how you feel about me.”
“That was then,” Eve said. “My feelings have changed…considerably.”
“How considerably?” he demanded.
“A lot,” she said. “I understand now why you had to leave and I don’t blame you. It was my fault. I wanted a commitment and you weren’t ready for that. I knew that going in but I thought I could change you. That’s what every woman thinks. But I was wrong.”
“So you wanted to make me a better man?”
“Yes,” she said. Eve sighed. “No. Just my version of a good man. But don’t you see, we’re both in the same place now? That’s good, right?”
“And what place is that?”
“Neither one of us is looking for anything permanent. We’re just going to enjoy ourselves for as long as you stay and when it’s time to say goodbye, there will be no regrets.”
Charlie stared at her for a long moment, then cursed softly. “I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.” He turned and strode down the sidewalk, not bothering to look back.
“Come on, Charlie,” Eve called. “Don’t be angry. It was a stupid thing for me to do. I’m sorry.”
He disappeared around a corner and Eve groaned softly. In all the time they’d spent together, they’d never fought. There were so many better ways to occupy their time. What did this mean? People fought when they actually had a relationship. All his talk about boyfriend and girlfriend was just teasing…wasn’t it?
“What are you doing out here?”
Eve turned to find Lily standing in the door of the restaurant. “Nothing.”
Lily glanced up and down the street. “Where is Charlie?”
“He left.”
“Left? Like, gone? Gone for good?”
Eve shrugged, tears pressing at the corners of her eyes. She brushed them away in frustration. This was crazy. What was she crying over? “I don’t know. He’s mad about that profile I posted on SmoothOperators.com. Or maybe not. He just yelled some stuff and then stormed off.”
“Are you crying?” Lily asked, hurrying to her side. “Oh, Eve, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she said through her tears. A giggle burst from her lips. “I’m fine. Really. I kept my heart out of this. I don’t love him.”
But that wasn’t exactly the truth, Eve thought to herself. She did have feelings for him, feelings she was afraid to admit to herself. He was everything she’d ever wanted in a man. He was sweet and funny and made her feel special, as if she were the only person in the world he ever wanted.
But how much of that was just an illusion, a practiced facade that he’d used on other women? Even through her infatuation, Eve knew that there was a chance she was just fooling herself. Men didn’t change. It was an axiom that had held true for ages. A woman could either accept a man, flaws and all, or move on.
She’d already made enough concessions in her marriage to Matt. Putting up with his behavior had been enough to sour her optimism about love and fidelity. Why even attempt to redeem her faith in the opposite sex? She’d only get her heart broken all over again.
“For someone who isn’t in love, you sure look miserable,” Lily teased. “Come on inside. We’ll sit down and have a glass of wine.”
Eve shook her head. “Can you finish up? I’m going to take a walk and clear my head. I’ll be back to close up.”
“I can come with you,” Lily offered. “We can take our wine in a to-go cup.”
“No, I’ll be fine.” She gave Lily’s arm a squeeze. “Really, I’m great. I have everything under control.”
Eve started off down the street at a brisk pace. The evening was cool and quiet, a welcome respite from the noise and heat in the kitchen. She glanced up at the sky and noticed the stars twinkling through the light from the city. Her mind wandered back to the night she and Charlie had spent camping.
Everything was so easy between them when they rid themselves of all expectations. In truth, Eve could see the allure of living a rootless life, never knowing exactly where you were going to be from day to day, always surprised by what was around the next corner.
Maybe that’s what was needed to keep passion alive between two people-that niggling doubt that tomorrow it might all be over. She didn’t want to settle in to a relationship, she wanted to live and breathe her desires. She wanted a man who never stopped surprising her.
By the time Eve had exhausted herself, she realized that she was just a block from Charlie’s house. Standing on the street corner, the wind rustling the trees above her head, Eve weighed her options. She could walk back to the restaurant and keep her pride intact. Or she could go to Charlie, apologize for ratting him out online and see what she could do the fix the mess she’d made.
There was a third option. She could let herself in, take off all her clothes and wait in his bed. If he just remembered how good it was between them, then he’d have to see how misplaced his anger was.
Eve leaned up against the tree, wrapping her arms around herself to ward off the chill in the air. There would come a point when sex couldn’t fix every problem they had. Maybe they were at that point now. Maybe it was just best to let it go, before either of them invested too much.
Still, no matter what happened in the future, Eve wanted to set things straight in the present. She stepped back out on the sidewalk and headed in the direction of Charlie’s house. Now that he’d had a chance to calm down, maybe he’d listen to her side of the story.
The house was dark as she walked up the front steps to the porch. There was always a key hidden on a string behind the mailbox, but Eve decided to knock. She held her arm out, then hesitated, knowing she ought to decide what to say first. The sight of Charlie usually rendered her unable to think clearly.
“Tell him you’re sorry,” she murmured. “And that it was a long time ago, before you really knew him.”
She reached out again, but then another thought occurred to her. She really shouldn’t have to apologize. After all, Charlie had admitted he had behaved like an ass. And nothing she’d written on the Web site was untrue.
Gathering her resolve, Eve rapped on the door, then waited. She listened for sounds inside, but heard nothing. Pressing her hands to the glass in the door, she peered into the darkness. Maybe he’d already gone to bed. Or maybe he hadn’t come home at all.
