“Now is the time. I want to tell you about my parents’ marriage. And maybe you’ll understand why this is so difficult for me.” Eve tucked her legs beneath the T-shirt she wore, resting her chin on her knees, her arms wrapped around her shins. “My father was a philanderer. He used to cheat on my mother all the time. Maybe he still does, I don’t know. For a long time, she didn’t know. Even after I found out, she still didn’t know. My father used to take me out to the park on Saturday mornings and I’d play on the swings while he’d sit on a park bench with some woman, having coffee. At first, I thought she was just some mom at the playground with her kids. But then, I realized that she was there to meet him.”
Charlie reached out and smoothed his palm over her shoulder. “Eve, I’m sorry.”
“Once I’d figured it out, my father just assumed I’d help him keep his secrets. Which I did, because I was afraid if I told my mother, she’d want to divorce him. And even though he was doing this, I still loved him. By the time I was ten, I was helping to hide the evidence. I’d go into his coat pockets and pick out the credit card receipts before my mother found them. I’d throw out the matchbooks from the bars and phone numbers scribbled on scraps of paper. Then one day, my mother caught me doing this and I thought it was all over.”
“What happened?”
“I think it was the first time she knew for sure. She might have suspected, but at that point, she knew. She told me not to mention this to my father and to go on as if nothing was wrong. And I did.”
“For how long?”
“I was an active enabler until I was thirteen. I begged my father to stop seeing other women, we got in a huge fight, and after that, he stopped for a while. But then it all started again and I did what my mother did. I looked the other way.”
“And when your husband cheated on you?”
“I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ignore it. Nor could I ever trust him again.”
“And you can’t trust me, can you?”
She turned her gaze away, staring out the window. “I want to. I really do. You don’t know how much.” Eve turned back to him, gathering her resolve. Though she might be taking the biggest risk in her life, Eve was ready to open her heart to him. “I need time. We need time. You seem to know exactly how you feel, but I can’t trust how I feel.”
“I can give you time,” he said. “I have plenty of that. As long as you want. I’ll be here for you.”
“No,” Eve said. “I want you to take the job. We both need to work. In case this doesn’t happen for us.”
“You can’t think that from the start,” Charlie said. “You have to believe in us.”
“I believe in the us that’s here right now. And I believe there might be an us in a month and maybe a year. But this-everything we’ve shared in this bedroom and in this house, and a few other places, too-that’s a fantasy. We have to start to live in the real world.”
“I don’t want the job,” he said. “I don’t want to go back to Everest again. I’ve just barely recovered from the first trip.”
“It’s a wonderful opportunity. You said so yourself. And I’ll miss you when you’re gone. But you’ll come back. This time, I know you’ll be back.”
Charlie searched her face, as if he were hoping to find a trace of uncertainty there, a chink in her logic. This was for the best, Eve mused. He had to see it the way she did. If they continued as they’d begun, the fantasy would slowly fade and they’d be left wondering if the emotions that accompanied it were fading, too. This way, they’d force themselves back into reality, before it was too late.
“All right,” Charlie said. “I’ll do whatever it takes. I won’t always like it, but I’ll do what you want.”
“And if you’re not happy, you’ll tell me. You won’t sneak around with other women, you’ll just tell me so we can end it without any drama.”
“It’s not going to end,” Charlie said.
Eve grabbed the coffee mug from the beside table and took a sip. “I spoke with Lily about your idea. About the dehydrated foods. She’s doing some research, but she thought it was a really good idea.”
“It is,” Charlie said. “Listen, I’ve tasted every brand out there and there just isn’t much variety. The food needs to taste…interesting. And it has to be packed with carbs.”
“I’m going to work on some things while you’re gone,” Eve said. Though the words were difficult to say and even more difficult to imagine, Eve knew she’d be able to get along without him. A month was a long time. Six weeks even worse. But it would never come close to five years.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you,” he said.
“You’ll be fine.”
“You could always come along,” Charlie said. “We’ll spend a lot of time at base camp and you’ll get a chance to see how the cooking is done there. The Sherpas are amazing cooks. They do a lot of vegetarian dishes. You could get some new recipes.”
“I can’t be away from the restaurant for that long,” Eve said.
“Why not? A lot of great chefs travel. And Asia is a great place to study food.”
Eve had always wanted to experience the culinary world beyond the borders of her own country. She had the money to travel, but there always seemed to be something important keeping her home. “Maybe another time. Things are so busy right now with the investors and the new restaurant in Seattle and the cookbook and the television show. And Nepal isn’t just a quick plane ride with a comfy hotel on the other end. It takes planning.”
“All right,” Charlie said. “But you do have to promise me one thing. That when I get back, we’ll take a trip together. Just a long weekend. Anywhere you want to go. San Francisco. New Orleans. Some place with really great food. And we’ll eat our way through the weekend.”
Eve smiled. It sounded like a perfect plan. Something she could look forward to upon his return. “All right,” she agreed.
For the first time, she allowed herself to believe they had a future. He would come back to Boulder, they would pick up where they’d left off. And maybe, someday, she could say without a trace of hesitation that she loved Charlie Templeton with every fiber of her being, with every molecule in her body and every inch of her soul.
THE DENVER AIRPORT was bustling with travelers as Eve and Charlie wove through the crowd on the way to his gate. Though Eve had known this moment was coming, she found herself completely unprepared for the emotions that accompanied it. Charlie was leaving for Boston and a few days later, he’d be on a plane bound for Nepal. He’d be halfway around the world and difficult to reach.
In the week before his departure, their relationship had continued to edge toward something permanent. She packed up her things at Lily’s and moved into his house, hanging her clothes beside his in the empty closets and filling his kitchen cupboards with all of her cooking utensils and spices.
Though the house had been furnished as a rental, Charlie had urged her to buy new furniture and redecorate while he was gone. He’d brought his friend Jack over to discuss the changes she wanted to make in the kitchen and Jack had agreed to help her find a good contractor.
But Eve hadn’t wanted to think about redecorating. She’d only been interested in knowing where he’d be, what he’d be doing and whether any of it was dangerous. Charlie had tried to calm her fears and to that end, had decided to set up an easy way for them to communicate on a daily basis.
He had a satellite link-up on his laptop, so he’d gone out and bought a brand-new computer and set it up in a corner of his living room, along with a program that operated a video link over the Internet. They’d first tried it with Charlie locked in the bedroom and Eve sitting in the living room.
When the link-up worked, they explored all the possibilities that video calling offered, including those of a sexual nature. Eve felt a blush warm her cheeks. Though sex in the privacy of their bedroom was comfortable for her, she had a difficult time sending images of her naked body out into the world.
“You’re going to call me as soon as you get to Boston, right?” Eve said.
“I will,” Charlie said. “Are you sure you don’t want to come to Boston with me? It’s just a few days. You could fly out there with me now and fly back here when I leave for Nepal.”
“I can’t,” Eve said. “I have to go to Seattle the day after tomorrow to look at a few locations for the restaurant. I’m cooking for my investors and then I have to spend a few days here in Denver, talking to a production company about the cooking show.”
“See, you’ll be so busy, you’ll hardly notice I’m gone. Six weeks will fly by in no time.”
Eve stood next to him as he checked in and dropped off his luggage. They wandered over to a row of seats, then sat down. Charlie reached out to take her hand. He drew it up to his lips and pressed a kiss on the back of her wrist. “God, I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too,” she said. A shiver skittered through her body and she glanced away. She’d been meaning to talk to Charlie about something before he left, but she hadn’t had the courage to bring up the subject. It was now or never.
“Will there be women where you’re going in Nepal?”
He frowned. “Sure. There are a lot of women involved in climbing expeditions. The season will be winding down on Everest. Why do you-” He paused, then smiled. “Are you worried I’m going to…what do they call it?”
“Stray,” Eve said. “Because, I know you’re used to having women around to satisfy-your-you know, needs?” Charlie laughed out loud and Eve felt her face warm. “It’s not funny. I’m serious.”
“You’re ridiculous. You don’t think I can go six weeks without sex?”
“Have you ever gone six weeks without sex?” she asked. “I mean, during your adult life?”
Charlie thought about it. “No, I guess I haven’t. But that doesn’t mean I can’t.” He grabbed Eve’s arms and turned her to face him. “Eve, listen to me very carefully. I want you and only you. I’m not going to go sleeping around just to scratch an itch. You are the only person I want to be intimate with, do you understand?”
Eve nodded. “I do.”
“Good. Now, can we stop talking about sex? It’s making me really horny and finding a place to take care of my needs in this airport is going to be impossible.”
“See,” Eve said. “You get turned on so easily. I think it’s going to be much harder than you think.”
“It is much harder than you think,” Charlie said, glancing down at his lap. “But that’s all your fault. You’re the one who does this to me. That’s why I set up the video link on your computer. So we could take care of these things when they come…up.” He sat up straighter, wincing slightly as he moved. “Now, can we talk about something else? Tell me about the new sofa you want to buy.”
Eve chatted about her plans to redecorate the house, promising him that she’d clear all her choices with him. But she knew the conversation was just a clever way to distract her from the inevitable.
Charlie looked at his watch, then sighed. “I’d better go. I still have to go through security.” He took her hand and gave it a squeeze.
Eve swallowed hard as his gaze caught hers. “Right,” she muttered. “I guess this is it.”
“It’s all right, Evie. We’ll say goodbye really quick. And before you know it, you’ll be here again, picking me up.”
“You are coming back,” Eve said.
Charlie stood and pulled her to her feet. “I am coming back. I promise.” He leaned forward and kissed her, this kiss filled with so much longing that Eve felt tears well up in her eyes.
“Have fun,” she said, her voice choking with emotion. “But-but not too much fun. Not that kind of fun.”
“Evie, don’t you know? I love you. The only person I want to be with is you.” He reached down and picked up his boarding pass and passport. “I’ll talk to you later tonight after I get settled in Boston.”
Eve nodded. “All right.” She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, then realized she didn’t want to let go. “Go. Before I start blubbering like an idiot.”
“I can’t,” Charlie said. “You’re holding on too tight.”
