shot through a keyhole, as if someone could imagine how therapy looked, but not how it sounded. And it looked like an unsavory seduction.
The woman sat up or lay down, turned on her side, used various kinds of body language that became more and more provocative. The psychiatrist responded in kind. Without words there was no way of knowing what the content of the scene between the two really was. Jason became tense and anxious at the thought of having to watch the code he lived by violated.
Then suddenly the scene changed and she was naked with the other man. The young hoodlum was wearing jeans and a leather jacket with a zip front. It hung open. He leaned over the woman and rubbed the zipper back and forth across her flawless neck and breasts. Then he sank to his knees on the floor in front of her.
Jason did not want to see what he was going to do, or what she was going to do. He wanted to be magically out on the street and miss the rest. He didn’t like a second of this, didn’t like it at all. But the woman was mysterious and unusual, mesmerizing. He couldn’t leave.
She leaned over the arm of the chair, arching her back as she had earlier in the psychiatrist’s office. Her rich wheaty hair hung down, and her head was bent back in that way that never looked right in films because most people couldn’t do it in life. Her legs were very long. The man buried his face in her lap. She clasped him with one bare leg around his back, then the other.
Jason swallowed and looked furtively around. He could see that the men in the audience were aroused, as he was himself. Every man wanted to be that character, that aimless hoodlum making love in his black leather jacket. The shirt that had been under it was suddenly gone. Jason’s unease reached the stage of extreme discomfort. He crossed his legs the other way.
Then the scene changed. They were back in the psychiatrist’s office. The woman was talking with no sound. Jason’s heart beat faster still. He didn’t want to see her naked now with the shrink. Perspiration broke out on his forehead as the screen went white and a hum filled the soundtrack. It was unbearable. What was happening now?
Slowly the picture cleared. The woman and the hoodlum were in a room with little colorful picture transfers all over the wall. It was a tattoo parlor. Jason’s heart raced. What was this about? They were looking at each other intensely. The hoodlum had his shirt off. He was on a stool with his hairless chest filling the screen. The woman caressed his shoulder as another man appeared on the screen, fiddling with some sort of instrument.
A whine that sounded like a swarm of bees filled the theater. The man took the instrument and began to tattoo the shoulder of the hoodlum. The woman watched with intense excitement as the tattoo grew. The lovers looked at each other. Their feet touched. Their fingers entwined.
Finally, the mean Chinese-looking symbol in blue and black was finished, and the young man got up. Jason looked at his watch, thanking God it was over.
But it wasn’t over. Now the woman took his place on the stool. Slowly she unbuttoned her blouse and lowered it over her shoulders until her whole back was bared. The man began caressing her neck and arms, encouraging her as she had him. Her expression changed to one of sly satisfaction as the whine began again, and the tattoo needle moved toward her naked shoulder. Freeze frame.
Jesus Christ. Jason shook his head as the credits began to roll. Emma Chapman’s name came first. She was the actress Jason had come to see on the screen for the first time. He felt dizzy at the sight of his wife’s name, as if he had the kind of food poisoning that shot toxins straight to the brain. Somehow, in all the months of preparation for the film and the shooting of it, she had neglected to tell him what she did in this film and what it was about. He sat there in shock for a long time.
4
The expensively dressed woman in the short fur coat examined the seat of the metal chair dragged over for her from the desk next door. There were some crumbs on it. She brushed at them, but the surface was sticky, and they didn’t all come off. She sat down looking even more unhappy than before.
Another fish out of water, April thought.
The man took the chair that was already there and sat without looking at it.
“You’re Chinese,” the woman said. It came out halfway between a question and a statement.
“Yes, ma’am,” April agreed. She was Chinese yesterday, she was Chinese today, and would undoubtedly remain Chinese for the rest of her days.
Now that she worked here on the upper West Side, however, sometimes April looked in the mirror and was surprised to discover it all over again. She didn’t feel Chinese unless she was with one. And she didn’t think about it unless someone reminded her. It was the hard part of working Uptown. Whenever she wasn’t thinking about being Chinese, someone reminded her.
“Were you born in this country?” the woman asked. She stared at April belligerently.
“Jennifer!” The husband shook his head. Not relevant.
“Yes, ma’am, were you?” April replied, unabashed.
The woman flushed slightly. “I’m sorry. I’ve just never seen a Chinese cop before.” She looked at April’s well-cut navy blazer and slacks and the red, white, and blue silk blouse with a big soft bow tied at the neck, and blushed again.
April had a beautiful, round, delicate face, neither too fleshy nor too pointy in the jaw, and an extremely good haircut, short, expertly layered. She was wearing a little eye makeup and lipstick. She knew the woman was thinking maybe she wasn’t even a cop. Maybe she was another secretary like the surly black girl at the desk downstairs who took the complaint.
Then the woman’s eyes filled with tears. She blew her nose. “You
Bang on the button. April could read people’s minds. She nodded solemnly. “Yes, ma’am.” A police rule was always be courteous.
“Jesus.” Stephen Roane put his hand on his wife’s arm.
She pulled her arm away. “Don’t try to censor me,” she snapped. “I needed to know.”
“What would be the point?” he muttered.
April made a note of the man’s hostility. She decided to reassure Mrs. Roane that Detective April Woo could do the job. She leaned back slightly in her desk chair and unbuttoned her jacket so that the Smith and Wesson .38 strapped on her waist could be seen clearly.
“Yes, ma’am,” she said for the third time. “I am a cop and a detective.” She took the gold shield out of her pocket. The promotion to detective had come after only two years on the force. That was how good they thought she was. Down there, anyway, in the 5th.
“You don’t look like a cop,” Jennifer Roane said.
“For God’s sake, stop embarrassing the officer and let’s move on …”
“Detective,” April corrected. “It’s all right. People say it all the time.”
She never knew if she didn’t look like a cop because she was a woman, or because she didn’t wear a uniform except in parades, or because she was Asian.
“Our daughter disappeared,” the man said. “What do we do?” He wasn’t going to yell because this young Chinese person had kept him waiting for an hour when she clearly didn’t have anything to do. He just wanted to get it over with.
“When did you see her last?” April asked gently.
“Four or five days ago. Saturday, I think,” the man said.
The woman nodded. “Yeah, Saturday.”
April made a note. She always more or less ignored the forms and started over. The forms didn’t tell much of a story. And often what people said downstairs were not the same things that they said upstairs.
“You haven’t seen your daughter in more than a week?”
“Well, she doesn’t live with us,” the father said defensively. He looked at the woman. “Either of us.”
“Oh.” So none of them lived together. April made a note and starred it.
“So, um, Ellen disappeared from where she lives on the twenty-first. Where is that?”
