A Killing Gift

any off-the-wall ideas in your beautiful head.'

Birdie didn't like the way he was talking, as if she were a sure thing. Just barely, she decided to let pass the possible put-down of the 'beautiful head' remark. Perhaps she was just overly sensitive. 'What's a negative donor?' she asked.

'A negative donor is someone with big money who wants to build a building or start a program or new school that the university doesn't need or want just to get their name on something.'

'Give me a for-instance,' Birdie said.

'Okay…' Al dropped his head back and rolled his soft gray eyes at the ceiling. 'Ah, here's a good one.' He focused on her again with a grin.

'Say you loved the sea, loved it, and wanted to start a marine biology center here at the university to rival the one at Wood's Hole.'

Birdie laughed, relieved finally to be with someone who didn't make her feel stupid or uncomfortable every single minute. For the first time since Max died she was actually having fun.

'See, I told you I could cheer you up.' Al looked pleased.

'Thanks, this was a good idea.' She liked the restaurant he'd chosen, 103 Waverly Place, where Fifth Avenue met Washington Square. A small restaurant where university people from all the schools in the area went. Birdie was pleased to be in such a place. At the very next booth sat the latest star that John Warmsley, York U's new president, had lured from Harvard with an endowed chair of her own. Angela Andersen was a skinny, salt-and- peppering, wild-haired woman with no makeup who'd cracked the code on the psychology of girls. Birdie had read her book a few years back and nodded all the way through. And there she was sitting only a few feet away with an angular wild-haired man who could have been her male twin. The close proximity to such high-powered brains was enough to give her goose bumps. Al caught her staring over his shoulder. 'Do you want to meet them?' he asked in a stage whisper.

'Maybe later. Go on with the marine biology.' Birdie focused on Al again, someone who'd circled in and out of her life over the years who suddenly resurfaced as a potential friend with Max's death. She was glad he'd called.

'Okay. This is a really good one. Let's say you're an environmentalist and want to study the Hudson and the East rivers and all the tankers' impact on the harbor, blahbity, blahbity blah. This is a huge concept, right, and you have fifteen, twenty million to give. That's a lot, right?' Birdie nodded. A whole lot. 'Wrong. That's nothing. It wouldn't cover a little building, let alone the research boats, the pier, and the faculty that would be needed to support such a program. You'd need hundreds of millions for that.'

'Oh.' Birdie sipped some San Pellegrino from her water glass. Excuse me.

Al's face took on an intense expression as he explained it. 'A negative donor gives the big hit for name recognition, then moves on, leaving the institution with a white elephant it can't support. A lot of institutions get burned that way because they think the donors will stick with them and keep on supporting the new whatever-it-is that bears their name. We won't do it. Warmsley is adamant about that. Got it?'

Birdie nodded.

'You have to offer something they want, not something you want, okay?'

She nodded again, beginning to see how Max's mind had worked. Al was going to be useful, very useful. She smiled at him, pleased that someone benign was around to guide her. Max hadn't used a foundation consultant, and she didn't want to, either. How hard could it be? She was in charge of a seventy-five-million-dollar foundation. She'd never thought the sum was huge. She knew that to avoid tax consequences charitable foundations had to give away no less than five percent a year. But Max had habitually given away closer to seven percent, which put his giving level at about five million a year.

And he had his own style of giving, which was in some ways similar to the kind of giver that Al described, but in other ways very different. Max had liked to do big hits, like the two grants he'd given to the Psychoanalytic Institute. They were one-time deals. He didn't continue for years at the same level. After he helped an organization with something they needed to do, he moved on to something else. He wasn't a negative donor, by any means, but he was definitely a donor who didn't stick to giving the really big bucks to the same organization year after year. It meant he was always shopping, always meeting with people. To his very last day, he had been a vibrant man who loved his cell phone. What had happened to him? She shook her head.

Al watched her face. 'Something wrong?'

'No, no. Just thinking of Max.'

'You miss him?'

'Of course.'

'Of course.' Al sat back in the booth with the self-effacing smile he'd had ever since college. 'You know, I've been telling you this ever since you married Max. You're in a wonderful position here as an alum. Wonderful. You can leverage this opportunity and who knows, maybe even get on the board. This is the time, Birdie.'

'The time for what, Al?'

'Come on. We don't have a lot of time. Let's get with it and decide how you want to allocate your gift.' Birdie laughed. She didn't mean to, but she couldn't help herself. No one understood that she didn't want to leverage her opportunities. She didn't want to be on boards, couldn't think of anything more boring. Now that she was alone she didn't know what she wanted, but she knew it wasn't that.

'What are you laughing at? Are you laughing at me?' His voice sounded hurt. 'You have no idea how it is here, being brushed off by people with millions. Some of them are so… dismissive.'

She flicked her manicured fingers at him. 'Well, don't be silly; I'm not dismissive. It's just the idea of allocating my gift.' She giggled, then sobered when Al looked annoyed.

'Oh, come on, you think it's fun having a responsibility like this?'

'Yes,' he said fussily, 'I do. And what are you going to do about it?'

She snorted to herself. That was the question they all asked her. The trophy wife with the size-two figure whom nobody ever took seriously now had the chance to be on the board of the ballet, the board of the museum- whichever one she wanted-also the board of the hospital. The Psychoanalytic Institute. Her eyes slid around the restaurant at the tweedy York U types lunching there. She'd wanted to be one of these thinkers, one of these intensely involved academics years ago… but not anymore.

'I don't know yet,' she said honestly. 'Maybe I'll develop my own board; we'll consider our options.'

'What about York?'

She blinked. 'Oh, for God's sake, Al. You have more money than God. You don't need any more.'

'Birdie. We don't! And this is what I do for a living,' he said hotly. 'I raise money for this great institution. This is Harvard with heart, don't you understand? You can't disrespect us.'

'Of course I understand, and I won't forget you. We'll find a slot for you.' She smiled reassuringly. She hadn't been able to get down much of her salad, but she had liked the lunch and didn't want to hurt him.

'A slot! How much of a slot?'

'I don't know yet… We'll have to see.' One thing Birdie had learned already was not to commit too soon.

'Are we talking six figures, seven figures, what?' He gave her an exasperated look.

'Don't get excited. I don't know yet.'

'Give me a ballpark then,' he pressed.

She shook her head, wasn't going to do it. 'Walk me to my car,' she said. She didn't even glance at the check. One nice thing was they always paid.

Nineteen

Back in her Le Baron and on the road again, April started breathing easier. This time she didn't have to check her map for the way to Bernardino's house. As she drove through traffic, she imagined Bernardino taking this ride every day back and forth to the Fifth, going from one world to another. But no, he would not have traveled the Deegan. He'd have taken the Saw Mill on the West Side, then the Henry Hudson Parkway along the river. Nice drive. Nice life.