Ah, finally, more than one word. Progress.
Sam drove and Rod kept giving him directions and Sam kept following them. He noticed that on Rod’s lap was an envelope filled with documents. A good sign.
After twenty minutes of meandering around the streets of Miami, Sam was starting to get both frustrated and bored, so when they got to a stoplight he said, “You got a destination in mind, Big Rod?”
“We need to find a vector not commonly used by DMVstaff,” he said.
Christ. Anyone who used the word “vector” on a regular basis and wasn’t still behind a gun needed help.
Sam looked around the area, tried to reconnect himself with the city a bit, see if he could find a place nearby that might suffice before he strangled the life out of Rod. Kitty-corner to them was a nice-looking bar called the Blue Yonder, which is to say it looked like the kind of place you went right before you skipped town on a warrant.
“You hear about a lot of DMV guys drinking at the Blue Yonder?” Sam asked.
Rod shifted in his seat. Maybe he didn’t drink anymore. Sam couldn’t imagine how that might be, considering how buttoned-up the guy was. If it was Sam, he’d need a drink just to put that damn tie on. “Fine,” Rod said when the light turned green. “But you won’t mind if I don’t imbibe.”
“Roger that,” Sam said, just trying to make Rod feel comfortable, and as an experiment, maybe if he simulated the sounds of radio talk, he’d get Rod to respond like a carbon-based life-form. Sam was actually feeling worried. He wasn’t sure if Rod was still in this body or if he’d been sucked out by the alien queen.
The parking lot of the Blue Yonder was filled with late-model American cars, always a good sign that the clientele was only in town long enough to cash the check they’d kited, and even still Rod looked cautious getting out. They made their way into the bar and took a seat in a dark booth. Sam made out five guys drinking alone, one woman who might have been a man in drag and, curiously, a civet cat hooked to a chain leash sitting placidly next to the bar. A TV over the bar was tuned to highlights on ESPN, but no one seemed to be watching, except for the bartender, who kept a running conversation with the anchors and, Sam decided, the cat. The other patrons didn’t seem to pay any mind to the cat, but whenever something interesting showed up on the television, the bartender would turn to the cat and say a sentence or two.
“That A-Rod is a bum, right, Scooter?” the bartender said. The cat turned at the sound of his name, but didn’t have a ready response.
“You know they eat those in China,” Rod said, referring to the cat.
“Really?” Sam said. He was just happy Rod was finally communicating.
“They’re a delicacy. But after the SARS outbreak, people stopped eating them as much.”
“Why is that?” Sam asked.
Rod looked at the cat kind of sideways, which reminded Sam of the way Rod used to look at the women on the streets of the Maldives. “They carried the disease,” Rod said.
This really was a dive bar, Sam thought.
“Good to know,” Sam said. “One less food I need to worry about being forced to eat.”
“They also make coffee out of their fecal matter,” Rod said.
“Who are ‘they’?”
Rod didn’t respond. He was still looking at the cat, though he actually seemed to be trying to do some sort of mind-meld with it. It wasn’t unusual for people to leave the military and then join either the post office or the DMV, as both required a slavish, military degree of subservience. Both also required people to find joy in repetition, which was just a precursor to madness as far as Sam was concerned. Doing the same thing every day and expecting to go home happy wasn’t the definition of madness, but damned if Sam could figure out why it wasn’t, since Rod seemed positively loopy.
“So, Big Rod, the little errand I asked you to do,” Sam said, “what do you have for me?”
Rod handed Sam the envelope, but kept his eye on the cat. Whatever was happening there was between Rod and the cat. Sam pulled out the documents and started going over them. According to what Rod had pulled from the computer, the woman living at the address where Nick Balsalmo had met his demise was a seventy-five-year-old woman named Maria Cortes. The DMV had her going five-two and weighing in at 283 pounds. That didn’t seem right. Sam had seen stuff on the Internet, of course, but Nick Balsalmo was a thirty-five-year-old guy running drugs out of Little Havana. He didn’t seem like a granny chaser.
“Rod, you sure about this?” Sam said.
Rod finally turned his attention from the cat and regarded Sam with something like disappointment. “Of course,” he said, as if he couldn’t believe he was being questioned.
“See, the thing is, I think I’m looking for someone younger.”
“These Cuban families,” Rod said and then drifted off in his sentence, his eye back on the cat. “Is that thing getting closer to us?” he asked.
“No,” Sam said. “It’s on a chain.” He wondered if Rod had suffered some kind of mild stroke. “What were you saying about these Cuban families?”
“Maybe half of them are legal, the other half came on a boat, they all use the same names. Could be twelve Maria Corteses in that family.”
That was already something Sam had considered, which meant that the real Maria in question here was probably illegal, which would make it doubly hard to track her down.
“Did you happen to run any old car registrations for this person?”
“It’s all there, Sam,” Rod said, though he kind of spat the words out. “I took initiative.”
Guy sure was bitter, Sam thought, but after pulling through a few pages, he found a current registration for a 1991 Honda Civic to an address only a few miles from the building where Balsalmo was killed. It was a place to start.
He sifted through the rest of the papers and found a few more car registrations, along with a permit for a vehicle not currently being operated dated a few months earlier to the same address as the Civic. A 1977 Ford Ranchero. A good sign.
“What do I owe you for this stuff, Rod?”
“Nothing,” Rod said.
“No favor I can do for you?”
“No,” Rod said. He’d locked eyes with the civet, which had begun to emit a low growl. “You ever feel like you were born into the wrong species?”
“Can’t say that I have,” Sam said.
“You know of any available jobs out there in the private sector, Sam?”
“You’re in the private sector,” Sam said.
“You know what I mean,” he said. “Something where I got a little action.”
If it was up to Sam, he’d prescribe a course of action for Rod that involved large sums of psychotropic drugs, followed by intensive regression therapy. And a promise that he would never be allowed to proctor a line at the DMV again.
“Can’t say that I do,” Sam said.
“Then what are you doing? Why do you need this information?”
Sam was pretty comfortable with most of his friends. They rarely asked questions, and when they did it was usually just to protect their own asses. Understandable. But Rod seemed like he just wanted a piece of the action.
“I’m doing some process serving,” Sam said. “Maria here is getting sued by Sears. Owes thirteen hundred on a Bowflex she bought on credit. It’s actually a pretty interesting case.” Sam continued to prattle on until Rod lost interest and started staring at the cat again, which caused the cat to start pacing back and forth on its leash, that low growl turning more guttural. After a good five minutes essentially describing the plot of an episode of Simon amp; Simon that he remembered, Sam concluded by saying, “So, if you’re interested in that, just let me know.”
By this time, the other patrons in the bar had noticed the cat’s change in personality and were scooting to the other side of the bar, which reminded Sam of how people used to sit in the nonsmoking section on airplanes, as if the metal tube they were locked in could somehow discern where the smoke went. If that weird-ass cat thing decided to rip away from the wall and attack Rod and start eating faces, it was Sam’s impression that being on the other side of the bar would only increase the fun for the beast. The only person who didn’t move was the drag queen-or who Sam had decided was a drag queen, since very few women that he knew had a growth of beard and a
