' Ah, for God's sake, leave off! What am I to say to you ? I have nothing to say !' she answered, turning away from him.
Another man would have been satisfied with such a reply, and would have seen that there was no need to trouble himself further. He would have understood everything from the unspoken anguish written on her face and expressed in her gestures. But Adouev was not content He was like an executioner torturing his victim, and was himself animated by a kind of wild despairing desire to drink the cup once for all and to the dregs.
' No !' he said, ' let us put an end to this torture to-day; doubts, one blacker than another, are distracting my mind and tearing my heart to pieces. I have suffered agony; I believe my heart will break with the strain .... I cannot feel convinced of my suspicions; you must resolve it all yourself, or I shall never be at rest.'
He looked at her and waited for an answer. She did not speak.
' Have pity on me !' he began again—' look at me; am I like myself? every one is frightened of me, no one recognises me—every one pities me—except you.'
It was true; his eyes glowed with a strange fire. He was thin, and white; the perspiration stood in large drops onliis bWw:
She looked stealthily at him and there was something like sympathy in her eyes. She even took his hand, but let it fall directly with a sigh, and still she did not speak.
' Well ?' he asked.
' Ah ! leave me in peace !' she said in a tone of anguish, 'you torture me with your questions.'
' I beseech you, for God's sake!' he said, ' make an end of all with one word. Of what use is concealment to you ? I cannot get rid of a foolish hope, I will not
leave off, I will come to you every day, pale, distracted
I shall bring you misery. Forbid me the house, I will linger under your windows, will meet you at the theatre, in the street, everywhere, like a ghost. All this is foolish, laughable very likely—to any one who can laugh—but it is
agonizing to me! You don't know what passion is—what it leads to! God grant you may never find out! . . . . What is the good of it ? wouldn't it be better to speak at once ? '
'But what are you asking me about?' said Nadinka, throwing herself back in her chair. ' I am utterly bewildered—my head is in a fog.'
She pressed her hand spasmodically to her forehead and withdrew it again at once.
' I ask you—has some one taken my place in your heart ? one word—yes or no—will decide everything; will it take long to say it ? '
She tried to say something but could not, and dropping her eyes struck a note with one finger. One could see that there was a violent struggle going on within her. ' Ah !' she groaned at last in anguish. Adouev wiped his forehead with his handkerchief.
'Yes or no?' he repeated, holding his breath.
Some seconds passed.
' Yes or no ? '
' Yes!' whispered Nadinka, hardly audibly, then bent over the piano, and, as though unconsciously, began to strike some loud chords.
This yes was a scarcely perceptible sound, like a sign, but it stunned Adouev; his heart seemed torn, his limbs shook beneath him. He dropped into a chair near the piano and said nothing.
Nadinka looked at him in alarm. He gazed senselessly at her.
'Alexandr Fedoritch!' shrieked her mother suddenly from her room, 'which of your ears is tingling?'
He did not answer.
' Maman is asking you a question,' said Nadinka.
' Eh ? '
' Which of your ears is tingling ? ' cried the mother— ' quick 1 »
' Both! ' Adouev uttered gloomily.
u Your'e wrong—it should be the left! And I have been foretelling the future, and whether the Count will be here to-day.'
' The Count!' ejaculated Adouev.
'Forgive me!' said Nadinka, in a voice of entreaty,
turning towards him. 'I don't understand myself—-this has all happened without my foreseeing it ... . against my will .... I don't know how .... I could not deceive you.'
'I will keep my word, Nadyezhda Alexandrovna,' he replied, ' I will not utter a single reproach to you. Thank you for your sincerity .... you have done much .... much —to-day .... it was hard for me to hear that ' yes,' but it was still harder for you to say it ... . Farewell; you will not see me again; it's the only return I can make for your honesty .... but the Count, the Count! '
He ground his teeth and walked to the door.
' Ah,' he said, turning back, ' what will this bring you to ? The Count will not marry you; what are his intentions ? '
' I don't know!' answered Nadinka, shaking her head mournfully.
' My God! how blind you are!' cried Alexandr with horror.
' He can have no bad intentions,' she replied in a weak voice.
u Take care of yourself, Nadyezhda Alexandrovna 1'
He took her hand, kissed it, and with uneven steps went from the room. It was dreadful to look at him. Nadinka remained motionless in her place.
^ Why are you not playing, Nadinka?' asked her mother in a few minutes.
' Directly, maman 1 ' she replied, and with her head bent pensively on one side, began uncertainly to touch the keys. Her fingers weretrembling. She was evidently suffering from th&'prfeks o? conscience and from the doubt flung at her in the words ' Take care of yourself.' When the Count arrived, she was silent and depressed; and there was some constraint in her manner. On the pretext of a headache she went early to her room. And that night life seemed a sorrowful thing to her.
Adouev had scarcely got down the staircase when his strength failed him, he sat down on the last step, covered his eyes with his handkerchief and broke into loud tearless sobs. The hall-porter was passing near the vestibule afrthe time. He stood still and listened.
' Marfa, Marfa !' he called, going up to the dirty door,
'come here, listen, how some one is groaning like an animal. I thought it might be our dog escaped from her chain, but no, it's not.'
' No,it's not the dog!' repeated Marfa listening. 'What a strange thing!'
' Come and bring a lantern; it hangs there behind the stove.'
Marfa brought the lantern.
' Is he still groaning ? ' she asked.
' Yes! could some tramp have got in ? '
' Who is there ? ' asked the porter.
No answer.
' Who is there ? ' repeated Marfa.
Still the same sound. They both went off quickly. Adouev rushed away.
' Ah, it was some gentlemen,' said Marfa, looking after him, ' and you thought it was a tramp ! There, it's just what was on the tip of my tongue to say! Would a tramp be groaning in other people's passages ? '
' Weil, he must have been drunk then.'
' That's better still! ' answered Marfa; ' do you suppose every one's like vou? it's not every one groans like you when he's drunk ? '
' Then why was it—from hunger or what ? ' remarked the porter with vexation.
' Why 1' said Marfa looking at him and not knowing what to say, 'how can one tell, he had lost something, perhaps—money.'
They both squatted down at once and began to search with the lantern on the ground in every corner.
' Lost something!' repeated the porter, as he turned the light on the ground, 'where could he lose anything here? the staircase is clean and made of stone, you could see a needle here—lost something indeed! We should
