' How long you have stayed away !' she exclaimed.
' And you expected me ? '
'I?' she replied quickly. 'Oh, if you knew!' She ended her reply by a warm pressure of his hand.
' And I came to say good-bye to you !' he said and paused, watching to see how it would affect her.
She gazed with dismay and incredulity at him.
' It's not true,' she said.
' Yes, it's true ! ' he replied.
' Listen ! ' she said suddenly, looking timidly round on all sides; ' don't go away, for goodness' sake, don't go away ! I will tell you a secret. Papa sees us here from the window ; come to me in the garden, to the summerhouse—it looks out on to the meadow. I will show you.'
They went together. Alexandr did not take his eyes off her shoulders and her slender figure, and felt as though shaking with fever.
' What consequence is it,' he thought as he followed her, ' if I go; of course I shall—only look, it's just like visiting their home, the summerhouse .... the father invited me; of course I could go openly and directly .... but I am far from temptation, by God, and I will prove it; indeed I came here on purpose to say I was going away, though I am not going anywhere! No, Satan, you shall not lead me into temptation!'
But at this point it seemed as though Kriloffs imp appeared from the hermit's store and whispered to him, 'But
why did you come to say this ? there was no necessity for it; if you had not come, in a fortnight you would have been forgotten.'
But Alexandr considered that he was doing nobly, coming to perform a great act of self-sacrifice, to strive with the tempter face to face. The first trophy of his victory over himself was a kiss snatched from Liza, then he flung his arms round her waist, said that he was not going away, that he had invented that to test her, to find out whether she cared for him. Finally, to complete his victory he promised next day to be at the summerhouse at the same time.
As he went home, he thought over his conduct and felt hot and cold by turns. He was overwhelmed with horror and could not believe it of himself; finally, he resolved not to go to-morrow .... and was there before the hour fixed.
It was in the month of August. It was already dark. Alexandr had promised to be there at nine, but he arrived at eight, alone, without his fishing tackle. He stole towards the summerhouse like a thief, sometimes looking round apprehensively, sometimes running at full speed. But someone had been before him, and the latter also in haste, ran breathless into the summerhouse and sat down on a sofa in a dark corner.
It seemed they had watched Alexandr. He softly opened the door in violent agitation and walked on tip-toe to the sofa and softly took the hand—of Liza's father. Alexandr shuddered, jumped up, tried to run away, but the old man kept hold of the lappet of his coat and forced him to sit down beside him on the sofa.
' And what did you come after here, my good friend ? ' he said.
' I—came after fish,' muttered Alexandr, hardly able to move his lips. His teeth were chattering. The old man was in no way formidable, but like every thief caught in the act, Alexandr shook as if he were in a fever.
' After fish !' repeated the old man derisively. ' Do you know the meaning of the saying to ' catch fish in troubled waters'? I have been keeping watch on you for a long time, and now I have found you out at last; but I have known my Liza from her cradle; she is good a'nd trusting, but as for you, you're a dangerous scoundrel.'
Alexandr tried to get up, but the old man kept him by the arm.
' Oh, my friend, don'tget angry. You made an affectation of unhappiness, and hypocritically avoided Liza, drew her on, made sure of her, and were meaning to take advantage of it. Is that honourable conduct? What am I to call you ? '
' I swear on my honour I did not foresee the consequences,' said Alexandr, in a voice of the deepest sincerity; ' I did not mean '
The old man did not speak for a few minutes.
'Well, it may be even so ! ' he said ; ' it may be that not in passion but simply in idleness you have led the poor girl astray, without even realising yourself what would come of it; if you succeeded, so much the better—if you didn't, no matter! There are many fellows like you in Petersburg. Do you know how such gentlemen are treated ?'
Alexandr sat with downcast eyes. He could not find courage to defend himself.
' At first I thought better of you, but I was mistaken, greatly mistaken ! You know what an innocent fellow you affected to be ! Thank God, I discovered it in time ! Listen ; there is no time to lose; the silly girl will come to the tryst directly. I watched you yesterday. There is no need for her to see us together; you go away, and, needless to say, never come here again. She will begin to think you have deceived her and it will be a lesson to her. Only take care we never see anything of you here; find some other place to fish, or else—111 pack you off without much ceremony. It's lucky for you that Liza can still look me in the face ; I have been keeping watch on her all day .... else you would not have got off so easily—Good-bye ! '
Alexandr wanted to say something, but the old man had opened the door and almost shoved him out.
Alexandr went out in a condition of mind which my reader may imagine, if only he is not ashamed to put himself in his place for a minute. My hero's eyes were even glistening with tears, tears of shame, of anger with himself, and of despair.
' What have I to live for ? ' he said aloud, ' a loathsome, sickening life! But I — I . . . . no! if I have not strength of will enough to resist temptation .... at any
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220 A COMMON STORY
rate I have the courage to cut short this useless, shameful existence.'
With swift steps he made his way to the river. It was black, and thin, fantastic, misshapen shadows seemed to be hovering over its waters. The bank where Alexandr stood was shallow.
' One cannot even die here !' he said scornfully, and went to the bridge which was some hundred paces away. Alexandr leaned his elbows on the handrail on the middle of the bridge and continued to gaze into the water. He mentally took leave of life, gave a sigh to his mother, and a blessing to his aunt, and even forgave Nadinka. Tears of self-pity flowed down his cheeks, He covered his face with his hands. There is no knowing what he would have done, when suddenly the bridge began to shake a little under his feet; he looked round; merciful Heavens ! he was on the verge of destruction; the grave seemed yawning before him; half the bridge had smashed off and was swimming away .... the planks were breaking up—another moment and all would have been over ! He rallied all his forces and took a despairing leap .... to the safe side. Then he stopped, drew a breath and pressed his hand to his heart.
' Well, you have had a fright, I guess, sir ?' a keeper asked him.
i( Why, my good man, I all but fell in the middle of the river !' replied Alexandr in a shaking voice.
' God save us! accidents easily happen ?' said the keeper yawning; 'last year a young bargeman lost his life like that.'
Alexandr went home, his hand still pressed to his heart. From time to time he looked round at the river, and at the broken drawbridge, and quickly turned round shuddering and quickened his pace.
Meanwhile Liza had put on her most fascinating attire, and without taking any one, either father or nurse with her, she sat every evening till late at night under the tree.
The dark evenings came; she still waited; but no sight nor sound of her friends.
The autumn had come. The yellow leaves fell off the trees and strewed the banks; the green was fading; the river began to assume a leaden hue; the sky was always
grey; there was a cold wind with drizzling rain. The river and its banks were deserted; there was no sound of songs or laughter or ringing voices on the banks; boats and canoes no longer glided to and fro. Not a single insect hummed in the grass, not a bird chirped in the trees ; only the cawing of rooks depressed the spirit; and the fish had ceased to bite.
But Liza still waited ; it was absolutely necessary for her to speak to Alexandr, to reveal her secret to him. She still sat on the seat under the tree, wrapped in her jacket. She had grown thin ; her eyes were somewhat sunken; her face was wrapped up in a handkerchief. It was thus her father found her one day.
' Let us go, you have sat here enough,' he said, frowning and shivering with the cold; ' look, your fingers are
