form of communication with the UK) to find some dreadful news waiting for her. When she arrived in Sana’a, the capital of the Yemen, she found a stack of messages which had not been forwarded to al-Shisr, the village we have been staying in for the last few weeks. The dreadful news that she received was that her fiance was Missing in Action, and is presumed dead. Of course she flew straight back to the UK to see Robert’s parents, and from there went to her own family home, and there she remains at present. I gather the poor girl is prostrate with grief and hardly able to speak, let alone do anything else. Does that answer your question?
From:
Date:
14 December
To:
Subject:
Re: Harriet
No.
From:
Date:
14 December
To:
Subject:
Condolences
Harriet,
I just want to say again how dreadfully, dreadfully sorry I was for you when you heard the news about Robert. I know you had been worried sick, and then you told me just before you left me at al-Shisr and drove back to Sana’a that somehow you felt Robert was out of danger.
What a bitter blow for you then to receive the news that you did. It is almost worse that he is missing and you do not know for certain what has happened to him. But, as you said, it is almost certain that the worst has happened and I expect the MoD or his regiment will confirm that all too soon. When that happens, you must be brave. And you must not hesitate to turn to your friends for whatever comfort and succour they can give.
I hope you are picking up your emails at home, and I hope the week’s rest and being with your parents are giving you some comfort and new strength. All I wanted you to know is that if there is anything I can do to help, now or in the future, you have only to ask. Harriet, I think a great deal of you. You are not only a valued colleague but now a dear friend. More than a friend, someone very special to me. I think of you always.
My fondest wishes,
Fred
From:
Date:
16 December
To:
Subject:
Re: Condolences
Fred,
Thank you for your sweet email. It helps so much to hear from my friends, but nothing can bring back Robert. I always thought that having your heart broken was something that only people in novels experienced, that it was a form of words. But that is exactly what this feels like-a pain, in my heart, with me day and night.
I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I cry all the time. I know I am being pathetic but I can’t help myself. I know thousands of others are going through, or have gone through, what I am now experiencing. It doesn’t make much difference to my own loss.
You remembered me saying how I felt Robert was out of danger, how I felt that sensation of relief, or release, that day after we had walked up the Wadi Aleyn together for the first time. Robert was out of danger that day, forever out of danger, forever safe. He died that day.
The MoD got in touch yesterday. They confirmed the time of his death, and just said it occurred during ‘anti-insurgent operations in eastern Iraq, in the line of duty, killed by enemy fire together with the rest of his unit’. But that was it: that is all I will ever know about the circumstances of Robert’s death.
Twenty-odd words represent the full extent of the MoD’s comment on Robert’s life, his ten years’ service with the marines and his death.
I’m going to pull myself together and come back to work next week. That’s the best chance I have of getting through this.
Although at the moment I’m not sure this is something I ever will get through. But I know you and all my friends will help me try.
Love,
Harriet
From:
Date:
14 December
To:
Subject:
Captain Robert Matthews
Please could someone tell me how I can get more information from the MoD? I was engaged to Captain Robert Matthews who was reported as Missing in Action in Operation Telic 2, and this was posted on the website on 21 November. The MoD has refused to give me any further information. I would like to know more about the circumstances of his death-where he died and the mission he was engaged on. I do not believe I am being told the full truth about any of this, and I think I and Robert’s family have a right to know.
Harriet Chetwode-Talbot
From:
Date:
21 December
To:
Subject:
Re: Captain Robert Matthews
Dear Ms Chetwode-Talbot,
We are unable to help you with any of your queries, as we are dependent on the MoD to supply us with any information of the kind you are seeking. As Captain Matthews was on operational duties in an area with maximum threat level rating, the MoD has reserved the right to make a judgement about what information can, or cannot, be released on the basis of security considerations. We cannot assist you further. However, we recognise the stress this must cause, and suggest that you contact a new unit which has recently been set up by the MoD to supplement our own services,
