Everyone looked at him skeptically.
“Well, I did,” he added.
The Spy
With an elbow on the bar and her head leaning on her hand, a cigarette stuck between her fingers and smoke twisting and turning through the curls of her hair, Mary watched Jack polishing the bar. There was something safe and secure about a man working.
“You worry too much about your kid, Mary,” Jack said.
“I’m a mother,” she sighed. “Maybe not a good one, but a mother nevertheless.”
Jack slipped the towel over his shoulder and leaned on the bar as if he were getting ready to do pushups.
“You’re doing your best.” He turned and wrote something down on a pad. “They don’t give you a manual when these kids are handed to you.”
“You got that right, Jack.” Mary looked affectionately at the bartender.
“You got kids, Jack?”
Jack held up two fingers.
“And two grandchildren,” he added as he turned around. “Greatest kick in the world, having grandchildren. You get all the good stuff and when they get tired and cranky, you hand them back to Mom.”
“I didn’t know you had grandchildren.” Mary rubbed her cigarette hand on her forehead. She drew lightly on her cigarette. “I’m looking forward to that. Right now I’ve just got the boy. It’s the attitude that gets to you. How do they know everything? When did they suddenly get so angry? Sometimes I’m afraid I might be living with a serial killer. He says I pry. I’d like to know a few fundamental things, like whether he’s healthy. God, he hasn’t been to the dentist in two years. And how’s he doing in school. I haven’t seen a report card since grade nine. I ask a question and Terry makes me feel as if I’m acting like J. Edgar Hoover.
Terry tells me nothing. I can only guess what he’s up to. And I’m so tired. Do you ever get plain tired of everything, Jack?” Jack nodded. “Oh ya. My dogs get so fatigued they fall asleep on me while I’m standing still.”
Grinding her cigarette out in an ashtray, Mary sipped her Bloody Caesar. She played with the stock of celery that stuck out of the glass and then bit off a piece.
“Sometimes, Jack, I just want to have a little fun. You know what I mean? Let my hair down and really let it all hang out. Like when I was a kid. God, I’m getting too old too fast.”
“You’re still a young woman.” Jack looked at Mary and smiled. She’s getting old fast.
“Almost forty,” Mary smiled sadly.
“That’s not old.” Jack smiled, patting Mary on the hand. “You’re just a baby, and an attractive one, I might add. Why, if I wasn’t already hitched to a wagon, I might take a little gander your way.” Mary laughed and slapped Jack affectionately on the hand.
“If you weren’t married, I might rope you in myself.” Mary laughed again. She stopped. “I lied. I’m forty- one.”
“Well, there you go.” Jack laughed. “You look ten years younger.”
“Oh, you know how to keep your regulars happy.” Mary smiled as she took her package of cigarettes out of her purse. Jack reached for a lighter under the bar and lit her up.
“How’s it going with your new fellow?” Jack asked.
“Hank?” Mary drew deeply on the cigarette, her eyes closed.
“The tall long drink of water I saw you in here with yesterday,” Jack said.
Mary sighed. “Did you see the size of his hands? Like sides of beef hanging on the ends of his arms. Things are up and down.” Jack laughed.
Mary smiled. “You have a filthy mind. I love it.” Mary drew on her cigarette and released a sigh inside a cloud of smoke.
“The other night he told me that the world ended in 1950.” Jack shook his head. “He’s a strange one.”
“I have so much trouble reading men. One moment Hank seems really interested in me and the next… It’s like he’s off somewhere else on some distant planet. The first night I met him we were all over each other. Oh, I don’t know if I should say this…”
“Don’t worry, love,” Jack said. “I’ve heard it all.” 46
“You know where my apartment is. Over the variety store. God, we were like young kids all the way along the street. I guess I’d had a few drinks. He pushed me into a telephone booth and had his hands up my pants. Oh, God, it was wonderful. And the funny thing is, the phone was off the hook and some guy was on the other end asking who was calling, and I was moaning like a cat in heat. He must have thought we were a couple of perverts. I always make that mistake with men.”
“What mistake is that, Mary?”
Mary sucked deeply on her cigarette.
“Mistaking lust for affection. I always think they like me when what they want is between my legs. God, I wish I could do without them. Men have brought me nothing but tears. I adore my lovers but I get treated like an old dishrag. Just once I’d like to be the one who is adored.”
“You think he’s lost interest?”
Mary shrugged her shoulders. “Hank is different. I don’t think he’s really interested in the sex. He doesn’t seem too concerned with…getting off. Once I’ve been satisfied, he gives up. I’m willing to… you know. But he tells me that it’s all right. He’d rather talk.” Jack nodded and stood erect. Back is acting up again. He looked at Mary with concern.
“What do you know about this fella, Mary?”
Mary butted out her fresh cigarette absentmindedly and took a sip of her drink.
“Not much. Now that I think of it, I don’t know anything about him. I don’t even know his last name. I know it sounds loose but I’m beyond caring. God, sometimes I feel so lonely. I can’t stand being alone. When I’m in the apartment by myself, the television or radio is always on. Silence terrifies me. Without another human voice, I feel vulnerable. I’ve never been really alone. I know that there are people who need their space. I hate space. The here and now scares the hell out of me. I get so angry at Terry when he leaves the apartment and he turns off all the lights. I walk into the apartment and am immediately traumatized. I run around turning everything on. I don’t care about my electrical bills. Can you imagine living in the middle ages? All those noises. Crickets, the wind, animals. I need the cocoon of twentieth-century technology. Remember that blackout we had a few years ago? Lasted for hours. I spent the whole time in my girlfriend’s car listening to the radio.” Mary stopped to take a breath. “The first time I met Hank, I felt safe. Maybe it’s his size. And as you know, Hank likes to talk. He can go on for hours.
Puts me to sleep. It’s boring and comforting at the same time.” 47
Jack laughed, then added, “He’s certainly got something for the year 1950.”
Mary said, “Last night he told me about two Englishmen who stole state secrets for Russia. Files for nuclear weapons, H-bombs. How would he know about that? Do you think Hank could be a spy?” Jack chuckled. “I doubt that. There wouldn’t be too many top secret plans to be found here in the Six Points.”
“He asks a lot of questions though. Isn’t that what spies do?”
“What sort of questions?”
“He asks me a lot of things about my ex, Terry’s father. Of course, there’s not much to talk about there. The guy just walked out on me one day and never returned. At first I thought that Hank might be jealous.
But he wasn’t interested in any particulars about my ex. Just wanted to know about the night the bastard ran off.”
“Just that night?” Jack sighed.
Mary smiled. “What? What are you thinking?”
“Did he ask about any other disappearances?” Mary stared at Jack for a moment and thought. She took a sip of her drink.
“He asked me about an incident that happened when I was a kid.”
“Incident?” Jack asked.
“A friend of mine disappeared. Now that I think of it, a lot of questions that he asks are about people who have disappeared. Do you think he might work for the police?”
“I know most of the cops,” Jack said, shaking his head. “Sam Kelly would have mentioned something about
