It did not help at all. And the mocking voice had said, 'Too bad you came so late.'
'After the critical point is reached,' Sekma was saying, 'the progression is more rapid. The radiation becomes lethal in something like six or seven hours. Normal shielding such as we have is no protection. Therefore…'
'Therefore,' said the skipper, 'we had better make the most of our X-number of hours.'
He did not mention that if the search were called off the cruiser might land, be hastily serviced, and gotten off again in time to clear the planet and jump for safety. Kettrick knew it must be in his mind. It was in his own mind and he knew that every man there was thinking the same thing. Only one force held them silent, and judging by himself it was not courage but shame; no one wanted to be the first to suggest that they turn tail and run.
Sixteen hours? Maybe. Maybe only half that. There wasn't any way of knowing. Nobody had observed the birth of a Doomstar before, to gather data. They were the lucky first. It was a pity that their observations would be lost to science.
To change the subject in his own mind, he said, 'Deactivating the launcher by hand makes it tougher. Is it impossible just to blast the thing?'
'Not impossible,' Sekma said. 'Impractical, Unless you don't care about the planet.'
'The cobalt warheads,' Kettrick said. 'Yes, of course.'
'Unless,' said Sekma quietly, 'we had no other choice.'
The cruiser thrummed powerfully ahead. The skipper had returned to his seat. He and the copilot were checking off the coordinates of the initial orbit. A great big beautiful coffin, Kettrick thought, all polished steel and pride and enormous, useless strength, carrying a lot of good men to their deaths in the hope of finding one small needle in a planet-sized haystack, while Seri was safely away in
He wondered if Seri would feel much pain when he learned that the Doomstar had robbed him of Larith.
'Watch your counters,' the voice had said, 'and consider whether you wish to live.' The voice that might have been Seri's. Then it had laughed. The hot blood came up in Kettrick's face.
'We may have more time than we think,' he said. 'He was telling us that we had time to land and service for jump before the radiation becomes lethal…if we forgot everything else. That's what he hoped we'd do. Why would he say that if he weren't afraid we might find the launcher in time to stop it?'
Sekma said cynically, 'Hold to that thought, Johnny. We only have half a world to search. Just the side that faces the sun. Sunset will be cut-off time, but we don't know when that will be exactly…we don't know where the daylight started, so we can't tell where it should end. We need hope, so if you think of anything more like that, let us know.'
'I'll do better,' Kettrick said. 'I'll go down and enlist the Krinn. After all, it's their sun.' He laughed at Sekma's expression. 'What are you worried about? Afraid I might pick up some heartstones along the way?'
'Just habit, I guess,' said Sekma in an odd tone. 'I wish I had a lifeboat to give you.' He smiled suddenly. 'If you find any heartstones, you can keep them. We're going to drop Number One in exactly eight minutes.'
Kettrick went down the ladder to the wardroom where Boker and Hurth and Glevan had been sweating it out because there was no room for them in the bridge. They had had the intercom open.
'I guess you heard it all.'
'We did.' Boker was busy at the cellaret, stowing bottles in his shirt. 'I figure we'll need these before we're through, either to celebrate or…not.' He tossed one to Kettrick. 'Catch.'
Kettrick stowed it, cold against his skin. 'I thought maybe you'd want to go down with me.'
'Anywhere out of this hole. We've all had enough of sitting.'
'Let's go then. Chai?'
She too had been excluded from the bridge. And she too was tired of sitting.
'Go outside, John-nee?'
'Yes. And run hard, for a little while.' He walked with her down the corridor, his hand on her strong gray shoulder.
They passed the door of Larith's cabin. Kettrick stopped. 'We'll wait for you,' Boker muttered. He and the others went on to the lifeboat lock hatch.
Kettrick tried the door. It was locked, and he called through it. 'Larith! You were a little bit wrong about Seri. Don't you want to hear?'
The latch was drawn back. The door opened. She had put on her dress and fixed her hair and put the little touches of color in her face that brought out the beauty of it more clearly. Only her eyes were huge and still and there was no light in them.
'I tried to save you,' she said. 'If you had gone to Trace, you would have lived.' She paused. 'How long, Johnny?'
'As long as we used to spend on the island,' he said, 'when we found it pleasant to make love.'
She nodded. 'I did love you, Johnny, the best I knew how. Not enough to follow you when you went away. I weighed what I would lose and what I would keep, and I stayed. I'm sorry if it wasn't good enough, but I never promised more. I always knew you might have to leave me.'
'We could still live, Larith.'
He thought there was a brief flicker deep in those dark still eyes. 'How?'
'If we find the launcher in time, we can stop the Doomstar before it grows too big.'
'I would tell you if I knew,' she said. 'I don't want to die. I would tell you this minute if I knew, but I don't. They never said more to me than that this time the Doomstar would be the White Sun.'
This time he did not doubt her.
'I'm going down,' he said. 'Goodbye, Larith.'
She stared blankly, as though she were thinking of something far off.
'Seri is safe,' he said, 'if that helps.'
'Seri? Oh.' She shook her head. 'Yes, I weighed, Johnny. I've always been good at that, very good. Only this time I lost. Everything. Because of you.'
And now at last there, was light in her eyes, deep and smoldering.
'I will hate you, Johnny, as long as I can think. And the only thing that helps is that I will know you're dying too.'
'Very true,' said Kettrick. 'Only I won't die alone.' He cupped her cheek in his hand and it was cold as alabaster. He felt an odd remote twinge of pity for all that wasted loveliness. 'But,' he said, 'you've always been alone, haven't you?'
She drew away from him, back into the cabin, and shut the door, and he went with Chai to the lifeboat bay and through the hatch, and heard it seal behind him.
23
The pilot of the lifeboat, a grim-faced and joyless man in a vicious hurry, landed them at the place Kettrick had designated and barely gave them time to scramble clear of his jets before he was away again. Kettrick did not blame him. The small personal counter he had taken from the lifeboat's supplies showed radiation still well within limits. Yet the sunlight seemed to sting and burn on his skin, and he remembered his dreams, and was afraid.
They stood at the very knife edge of a vast desert, blinding white in the fierce glare. It was only about three hours after sunrise here, and already the air was parched and hot. Far off in the sand was the upside down reflection of a bitter lake, rimmed with white bands of alkali.
In the other direction, beyond the knife edge, was a deep and fertile sink many miles in breadth that wound with the windings of a river across half a continent. Beyond the sink was another knife edge and more desert, with a loft of mountains at the end of it. To the west, downstream, the sink curved out of sight around the base of a series of buttes like ancient battleships sailing in line ahead. To the east, upstream, it curved the other way around the broken cone of a small volcano, long dead, and the land there was stained black with lava. Smoke and dust darkened much of the horizon,
'Well,' said Boker, 'and here we are, exactly where we planned to be. And how easy it was, after all.'
Hurth gave him an answer that made the air seem cool. And Glevan said, 'Our lifetimes are short enough. Let
