The Snow White Christmas Cookie

“Someone came here to talk to you?”

“Uh-huh. I don’t remember his name. He said he was with … it sounded like the IRS, except not. Internal something.”

Des felt her abdominal muscles tighten involuntarily. “Internal Affairs?”

“That’s it.”

“What did he ask you?”

“Whether you made me drive faster than I wanted to.”

“Did I?”

Kylie let out a weak laugh. “No way. I’m the one who’s stupid, not you.” Then she looked up at Des, frowning. “You’re not in trouble, too, are you?”

“No. It’s routine procedure any time there’s an accident of this type.”

“I panicked, Trooper Des. Totally lost it. You must hate me. Everyone must.”

“No one hates you, Kylie. I certainly don’t. But do you mind if I ask you something, girl to girl?”

“I don’t mind. What is it?”

“Why did you try to steal those boots?”

“Because I have to look nice. Guys don’t notice me otherwise.”

“Sure, they do.”

“No, they don’t. Trust me, there’s girls who guys notice and then there’s girls like me-sort of okay looking except not really. My legs are too short and I have these thick calves and fat little toes. I look like a troll in shorts and flip-flops. Plus I’m a total dimwit.”

“No, you’re not. You’re eighteen. Believe me, I screwed up a lot when I was your age. We all do.”

Kylie let out a sigh. “I don’t even know why I keep screwing up. Except sometimes I just feel like I’m going to explode, you know?”

“I know.”

“How did … I mean, what did you do?”

“Figured out who I really wanted to be. And then came up with a plan. As long as I stayed focused on my plan I was okay.”

“I’ve tried doing that but I always … I–I daydream.”

“What do you daydream about?”

“Being tall and skinny like you. Looking good in a bikini. Lying on a beach in Malibu with a really cute guy who’s rich and nice and totally into me. We have a house right there on the beach. Everything in it’s new and clean. I have my own walk-in closet with a hundred pairs of shoes. And I have a dog. I love dogs. Big, slobbery ones.”

“Kylie, do you ever daydream about working?”

She looked at Des blankly. “Why would I want to do that?”

“No reason. I just wondered.”

“My mom wants me to be a nurse. I’ve been watching the nurses since I got here. They’re so smart and together. I don’t think I could be that way all day long.”

“Sure, you could-if you really wanted to. It does help if you have someone else in your corner.”

“You mean like my parents? No way. They are so screwed up and miserable.”

“I didn’t mean your parents.”

“Oh, you mean like a guy.” She shook her head. “Not going to happen.”

“Why not?”

“I just told you-I’m a dimwit. They only want me for sex. Not one of them is willing to just chill with me. Go for walks on the beach. Talk to me.”

“I know a guy just like that.”

“Sure, because you’re tall and skinny and gorgeous.”

“No, I mean a guy who’d walk on the beach with you.”

Kylie tilted her head at Des quizzically. “Who are we talking about?”

“Pat.”

“The Pat who works for my dad? No way. I mean, yeah, we hung out a couple of times, but he’s not into me. He didn’t even try to kiss me.”

“He’s shy.”

“Shy around me?”

“What I’m saying.”

Kylie thought this over. “That red beard of his … it looks itchy.”

“Tell him to shave it off.”

“He’d do that for me?”

“He’d jumped off of the Baldwin Bridge for you,” Des said, wondering what else Pat would do for her. Would he steal? Would he kill?

“Trooper Des, I’m kind of zonked right now. Are you chumping me?”

“I’m not chumping you.”

Kylie gazed glumly at her elevated ankle. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to walk on the beach like a normal person again.”

“Sure you will. Let’s not turn this into an old Bette Davis…” Des drew in her breath. “Damn, I almost did it again.”

“Did what?”

“Kylie, you will walk like a normal person again. You’re young. You’re getting excellent care. And you’ll be a beast when it comes to rehab.”

“No, I won’t. I’m incredibly lazy on top of everything else.”

“You used to be lazy. You’re not anymore.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I have a feeling about these things.”

Des heard a noise out in the hall and Kylie’s mammoth, bearded father appeared in the doorway, glowering at her. She stepped out of the room and joined him.

“What do you want now?” demanded Lem, who wasn’t in a particularly friendly mood today.

“Just came by to see how you folks are holding up,” she said, glancing around for Tina.

“My wife’s in the ladies room. Anything I can do for you?”

“Actually, there is something I wanted to ask you. Did you tell Pat Faulstich to plow the driveways on Kinney Road last evening?”

“Kinney Road?” Lem scratched at his long, not-so-clean beard. “I’ve only got two customers up there, the Beckmans and the Shermans. I usually handle ’em myself. Don’t recall telling Pat to go up there. Slipped my mind, I guess, what with Kylie and all. But it wouldn’t surprise me if he did. He has a lot of initiative. Well, some initiative. I hear that’s where you found Hank Merrill.”

“You hear right. I ran into Pat while I was at the scene. He told me he was making his first pass of the day through there. I wondered if you might have sent one of your other drivers to Kinney Road earlier. Someone who could help us verify what time Hank arrived there.”

“That’s a no. I didn’t even talk to any of my other men yesterday. Just Pat.” Lem glanced down the hallway at the sound of approaching footsteps. “Well, well, speak of the devil…”

Pat Faulstich was trudging his way toward them carrying a bunch of tulips and looking extremely uneasy.

Lem noticed how uncomfortable his young driver seemed. “What’s the trouble, Pat? Did one of our trucks screw the pooch?”

“No, sir,” Pat said. “Everything’s fine. Just came by to, you know, pay my respects.”

“Aw, hey, that’s awful nice of you. I’ll be sure to give those to Kylie.”

“Maybe Pat would like to give them to her himself,” Des suggested.

“Why, sure. What am I thinking? Go right on in, son.”

Pat studied the floor bashfully. “You don’t think she’d mind?”

“You kidding me?” Lem said. “She’ll be happy for the company.”