I took a long, luxurious bath after setting my room straight, then went to bed very early. But I must say I didn't go to sleep as quickly as unusual. There was one main fact I had been avoiding… a fact that I could not help but dwell on with increasing intensity and shame. I, a 25-year-old grown woman, bad just allowed myself to be roundly fucked and sucked by boys only twelve and fourteen years old. They were barely more than children!
What did this mean about me? I would never in my life have imagined myself allowing such a disgusting thing to happen to me. Did what had taken place mean I was, for some unexplained reason, turning into a sex freak of the filthiest kind-a woman who got her kicks by seducing kids less than half her age? Of course, I tried to argue to myself, I hadn't exactly seduced them. It was quite the other way around. But even so, I had to admit that I bad participated, once aroused, with the greatest gusto.
Besides, there bad been the night below my window, the woman and, boy going at it in the bushes when I had first entered the room. It had made me so hot I had to get on my knees and masturbate right on the spot. Surely that had something to do with my letting myself get involved with Tim and Petey, didn't it? Well, it would never happen again, I consoled myself. It had been one of those one-of-a-kind incidents that occurs in every girl's life. When she suddenly finds herself with panties so hot shell do anything for relief.
It would never happen again, I ‘repeated to myself as I fell asleep. Yet in my dreams that night, I saw young adolescents with their pants open and their little organs sticking out… kids as young as Petey and even younger… mere children with hard little cocks as stiff and straight bones.
And the woman in my dreams who fingered those childish cocks, who jacked them off and played with them, and sucked 'them and sucked them until their fat little heads shot off like milky fountains,… that woman had been me.
Me and me alone in the morning I found myself so wet and hot in the pussy I had to masturbate before I dared get up from bed. I was so horny that if I hadn't brought myself off I would have been tense and nervous all day.
But when I did it, I thought of one of my old boy friends, a manly guy with a hairy chest and a big cock that reamed me out like a roto-rooter. I consciously avoided any thoughts of younger men or kids… of anything the least bit immature.
I dressed and hurried to the first faculty meeting. It was extremely informal and quite abort, leaving me with the general impression that I was very much on my own in dealing with my 'caregroup,' which would be assigned to me the next day. I was told by the Headmaster, a Mr. Ian Carmichael, that my acceptance as a teacher at Brightwater meant that I was automatically credited with being sensible and creative enough to see that my students received proper instruction in the various subjects they were expected to absorb, and that my methods and day-to-day teaching plan would be almost entirely up to my own idea of what was best.
Mr. Carmichael-Ian-was an ancient soul, seventy or more, who insisted on being called simply by his first name. He left early, and the rest of the meeting was scarcely more than an introduction to the other teachers. There were no more than ten in the entire school, which was plenty since the student body was composed of only about seventy or eighty' students, who ranged from six to seventeen. Most of the kids attending were in the lower and middle age groups, with only a few over fifteen.
I saw Cliff again, the teacher who ‘had helped me have my baggage moved in, of course. And I saw Kate, who was as friendly as ever. Two others who seemed especially nice to me were Carrie Simons, a striking brunette only a couple of years older than me, and Percy Chileott, a rather effeminate man in his early forties. Cliff, a good- looking man if greying hair and a chiseled features turn you on, seemed to be giving me the eye quite a bit. It made me feel good to have his attention, but I didn't respond openly.
Soon t was walking down the hail with Kate.
'We have two new students coming in today,' she said. I agreed to join her in welcoming them. I knew that at Brightwater, a school located in' the lush green mountains of the California coast, was attended almost exclusively by kids from quite wealthy families-actors, company heads, and jetsetters of every kind, for the most part-and that their parents expected a great deal of personal attention for their children.
Just how personal that attention was, however, I was soon to learn, was something that truly shocked me. And if the kids parents had found out, I'm quite sure they would have been astonished and scandalized, to say the least.
We met the kids in the large, plush reception area and introduced ourselves. One was a ten-year-old boy and the other an eleven-year-old girl, the son of a well-known scientist and the daughter of a prominent painter. Their names were Kenny and Caroline: they were both very attractive and healthy children.
Kate explained that she would personally explain Brightwater to them, its rules, privileges and 'special fun,' as she called it. I was to see them again that night at dinner. We all went to another room.
Then she took me aside and ushered me to a hidden room above, where I was to observe (through a two- way mirror) and listen (through concealed microphones) how she handled the kids.
I was amazed at the procedure and said so.
'Why do I have to do this in secret?' I protested.
'Why can't I just stay with the three of you and-'
'You'll find out, Millie,' Kate said in a helpful, but mysterious, tone of voice. 'If you bad been here at Brightwater for a while, you could stay with us. But I'm sure you'll agree, after you see what goes on, that that's a lot you don't yet know about this school as well as things the children themselves don't yet know. By taking it all in from up here in this special observation room, you can see what happens without the kids knowing anyone is watching.'
I didn't understand why it should be important for the kids to be so alone with her, but I did as she said and went to the chair she pointed out in the observation room. A few minutes later she went back down the stairs to the kids. She immediately put things on a first-name basis with them. The boy's name was Kenny and the girl's name was Caroline.
They both knew the school rules and regulations (which were very few!) from what their parents had told them before sending them there, since Brightwater provided all prospective parents with a full supply of booklets and brochures on all technical ‘details of the school's operation. So far I couldn't imagine why sate had insisted that I remain hidden from view.
Then my fellow teacher began talking to them about themselves. At first it was routine fare, such as how many pets they had back home, and what their names were, and things about their brothers 4'and sisters. It turned out they were each an 'only child,' having no one else in the family except ‘their mothers and fathers. Kate pointed out that although they would each have their own rooms at the school, there would nevertheless be many occasions when it would be necessary for them to be in very close touch with other kids.
'It won't be like the schools you've been going to,' she reminded them. 'You'll be living much' closer together with the other students here. Not just in class, but for meals and also at night. Even around where others are sleeping.'
They both nodded, although with some hesitance.
It was clear to them that Kate's conversation was about to move in realms neither of them was prepared for. Then it was out. Kate suddenly got ‘to the point, in a way which made little Kenny blush.
'Since you'll be seeing older girls around their bedrooms from time to time, there's something I should ask you, Kenny,' she posed to him. 'Have you ever seen a girl without her clothes on? Do you know what a girl looks like underneath her underwear?'
Note: pages 47 and 48 are missing from this books. would have never Imagined myself doing even in my wildest imagination. The fact that I was twenty-five years old, and my two most recent lovers had been only fourteen and twelve, was still very much on my mind.
'You kids sure are quiet,' she said to them in a rather chiding way. 'Couldn't be that I'm embarrassing you, could it? They both shook their heads. Neither one wanted 'to appear 'chicken' in front of the other. Caroline even went a little farther and spoke up.
'Heck no,' she said, with bravado in her slightly trembling voice, 'you're not… you're not embarrassing me. I know about stuff like that. My parents aren't complete squares.'
'Then you admit you like seeing what a boy has between his legs, Caroline?' asked Kate.
This was a much too directly personal question for the kid, but she handled it as deftly as possible.
'Well sure,' she replied, 'if you want to talk like that. I… I like to… you know-get a peek once in a while at some boy. Especially since I don't have any brothers.'
