Nightmare

'Mom?' he called. 'Mom, I can hear you! Where are you?'

He strained to listen. The endless whispering continued, but Rebecca Weaver’s voice wasn’t in it. Kendi closed his eyes, trying to sort through the babble of soft voices. She had to be there. She was there. It hadn’t been a mistake or his imagination.

The breeze died around him and the whispers began to fade. Kendi kept his eyes tightly shut, staring into the darkness behind his eyelids, listening with every iota of his being. But the whispers grew softer still.

'Mom?' he said in a small voice. No answer.

He opened his eyes and stared at a blank white ceiling. Kendi blinked at it. What the hell? The air was a bit chilly, and he was lying down. It took him a moment to figure out he was lying in a comfortable bed in his new room at the monastery of the Children of Irfan. He sat up, a little dazed. Was the dream the Outback? Or was the dream this room?

The Outback, he decided, and lay back again with a sigh. The Outback dreams were coming with more intensity and reality of late, but they were nothing more than a symptom of Silence. The monastery was reality, as was his room and his bed. At least it was a pleasant place, one he was beginning to like. The intense longing he had felt for his family faded until it was bearable, though it didn’t vanish entirely. He suspected it never would.

Outside the window, Kendi could see the sky had lightened only barely. Awake before dawn again. For a moment he lay in his warm bed on the comfortable mattress, luxuriating in the fact that he didn’t have to get up. He tried to drift back to sleep, but his mind was broadly awake. There was a whole alien planet out there, with a monastery and a city to explore.

And he was free.

Eventually he gave up sleep as a lost cause and pushed the covers aside. After a quick shower, he pulled on his-his! — new clothes, including the suede boots. He was reaching for the jacket and found himself hesitating. Should he wear it? Mother Ara’s note said it was a present, but it had been a terribly expensive one and he didn’t quite know how to react. No one had ever given him anything like it before. Should he write her a thank-you note? Thank her in person? Pretend it had never happened? For a brief moment he wished she hadn’t given it to him, creating this whole dilemma. Then he flashed on one of his family’s interminable visits to the Outback and the words of a woman who called herself Firestarter.

A true gift doesn’t put any obligation on you, she said. Say thank you once to be polite, and then use the gift however you want. She had then given him a set of fire- starting tools. They had been among his things on board the colony ship, though they had doubtless been ejected into space three years ago, along with anything else the slavers had decided was garbage. The thought made Kendi angry. All his possessions and those of his family-stolen or tossed aside, with no way to recover them. Irreplaceable family holograms and photographs, mementos, his favorite shirt, the journal he had kept for a year when he was in grade school-all gone forever, along with the three years of life Giselle Blanc had taken from him. She had also taken his mother. The anger grew until Kendi’s hands hurt and he realized he was clutching at the suede jacket so hard his knuckles had gone pale. He made himself relax his fingers and stretch them, wincing at the pain. The anger remained. He wanted to get back at the slavers and at Giselle Blanc, find them and somehow make them understand what they had done to him, make them pay for it.

Not that he ever could. Giselle Blanc was wealthy and on a planet far away from Bellerophon. And who were the slavers? He didn’t even know their names, let alone how to find them. He was stranded here on Bellerophon while his family lay scattered across thousands, perhaps millions, of light years. The longing returned full-force, mixing with the anger until Kendi’s skin felt itchy and too tight.

He flung the jacket on his bed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The doors in the deserted lobby were wide open, and the air was a bit chillier than it had been yesterday morning. Tendrils of fog floated in the twilight among the branches beyond the wide balcony. Kendi thought about going back for his jacket, but didn’t feel like turning around. Still fuming, he went down to the cafeteria, dumped a handful of rolls onto a plate without really paying attention to them, and sat down at one of the long tables. An abandoned tray sat across from him, and he shoved it aside, slopping the dark remnants in the coffee mug over the side. Kendi tore a sticky chunk off one roll and stuffed into his mouth, chewing without really tasting.

'What happened here?'

Kendi looked up sharply. Another student, two or three years older than Kendi, was looking down at the skewed, coffee-strewn tray in confusion. He held a croissant in one hand.

'That’s my tray,' the student said.

'Yeah, well, it looked abandoned to me,' Kendi all but snarled. 'You shouldn’t have …have …' Kendi trailed off. The other student had brown hair and a broad build, with large hands and impressive biceps. Wide hazel eyes looked out over a square jaw and an undeniably handsome face. Kendi swallowed and felt a flush spread from the top of his head all the way down to his toes.

'I mean …I mean you should’ve left a note or something,' he finished weakly. 'Sorry. I thought you were done and gone.'

'No big deal,' the student said in a light tenor voice. 'It’s not like there isn’t more food. I’m Pitr Haddis.' He held out the hand that wasn’t holding the croissant. Kendi automatically shook it. Pitr’s grip was dry and firm, but before Kendi could register anything more than that, electricity jolted his spine. Kendi almost yelped. Pitr winched at the touch but didn’t let go of Kendi’s hand.

'Pretty strong Silence,' Pitr commented, sitting down and looking ruefully at his tray. The coffee had sloshed everywhere, mixing with crumbs from the remainders of Pitr’s breakfast.

Kendi shrugged uncertainly. 'That’s what they tell me. Look, why don’t I get you some more coffee? I forgot to get some for myself anyway.'

'You don’t have to,' Pitr said amiably. 'I probably shouldn’t-'

'Hey, I insist.' Kendi managed to flash a grin. 'Be right back.'

Before Pitr could say anything else, Kendi left the table and hurried back to the food bay. Several silvery urns with spigots at their bases stood in a row next to a tray of coffee mugs. They reminded Kendi of the ones he had seen as a child in the church basement back in Sydney in the days before his family had become involved with the Reconstructionists. Coffee self-service, it seemed, hadn’t changed in a thousand years. Kendi drew one mug and was reaching for the second before he remembered that he hated coffee. He hesitated, then decided to go ahead with it. Otherwise he’d look the fool in front of Pitr.

Kendi put the mugs on a tray, dumped a handful of sugar packets and cream containers next to them, and headed back to the table where Pitr was munching his croissant. He accepted the mug without comment.

'What did you say your name was again?' Pitr asked as Kendi sat down across from him.

'I didn’t-sorry. It’s Kendi Weaver.' He frowned briefly at his coffee mug, then started opening sugar packets and stirring them into his coffee. 'I’m new here. Like I said, I’m sorry about your tray.'

'I was pretty much done eating anyway. Just wanted one more croissant.' Pitr looked at him quizzically. 'You gonna drink that coffee or eat it?'

Kendi looked down. He had emptied almost a dozen packets into the mug. His face grew hot with embarrassment. 'I guess I’m kind of out of it this morning,' he muttered.

Pitr laughed, a bright, free sound that made Kendi smile and set his heart to pounding.

Quit it, he admonished himself. He’s just being friendly.

But his heart pounded anyway. He pushed the mug aside as Pitr drained half of his in one long swallow. Kendi watched him covertly, trying to seem nonchalant. The silence felt heavy.

Say something, dummy. 'Um, so you’ve been at the monastery for a while?' Oh, good one. Maybe you should have called yourself Mr. Smooth.

Pitr put down the mug. 'I was born on Bellerophon. My sister and I are both Silent, and there was no question about us going into the Children. I’m a student now, but I’ll be apprenticed pretty soon. Where are you from?'

Before Kendi could answer, two more trays landed on the table. Jeren and Dorna took up seats on either side of Kendi.

'Morning,' Jeren said.

'Hey, Pitr,' Dorna said. 'You know Kendi?'

'We just met.' Pitr drained his mug and got up. 'But I was about done. I should go. Stuff to do before