Nightmare

Mother Ara gestured to one of two chairs opposite the desk. 'Kendi, sit down again.'

Kendi obeyed with all the annoyed reluctance he could muster. She had already slammed him with more work detail. Like he had a lot of free time as it was. Now she going to hit him with something more? He mentally reviewed the recent past, trying to remember if he had done anything else she could get him for. He had broken the dorm curfew for underage students twice last week, but no one had caught him sneaking in, he was sure. His grades weren’t great right now, but official reports weren’t due out for almost a month, so it couldn’t be that. Unless one of his teachers had complained about him. He clenched his jaw. That was probably it. Sister Bren must have called Mother Ara again. Sister Bren had had it in for him since the first day of class, and Mother Ara would take her side. She always did.

'I’ve been wondering if you’ve given any more thought to the suggestion I made to you last week,' Mother Ara said. 'And the week before that. And last month.'

The head of steam that had been building up inside Kendi abruptly evaporated. He knew what she was talking about, but pretended ignorance. 'Suggestion?'

'Do you think about your family a lot?' Mother Ara asked.

Kendi nodded. 'Yeah. So?'

'I’m not accusing you of anything, Kendi. I’m worried about you.'

Kendi just looked at her without speaking.

'I said it before-you’ve been through a lot,' Mother Ara said. 'That kind of thing makes you angry, and the anger doesn’t just go away because you’ve been freed from slavery.'

Kendi remained silent.

'You’re not alone, Kendi,' Mother Ara continued quietly. She pushed aside a couple data disks and leaned her elbows on the desk. 'The Children take care of their own, and you’re one of us. Kendi, please-let’s make arrangements for you to talk to someone about what you’ve been through.'

'You mean a therapist. Someone who talks to crazy people.'

'A counselor,' Mother Ara said. 'Someone who listens and helps you through-'

'I don’t have time,' Kendi interrupted. 'All that work detail.'

'If you’ll agree to see someone, I’ll cancel the work detail.'

'Is that why you gave it to me?' Kendi snapped back. 'To blackmail me into seeing a therapist?'

Mother Ara’s face clouded and she looked ready to give a sharp retort, then stopped herself. 'You know that’s not the case, Kendi. I want to help you. The pain you’re in is-'

'— is none of your business. Look, can I go now? I have stuff to do.'

Mother Ara sighed. 'All right. But at least think about what I said, all right? And don’t forget your lesson this afternoon.'

'Yeah, sure,' Kendi said in his least convincing voice. 'Can I go?'

Mother Ara nodded and Kendi quickly left the office. Who did she think she was? Who did she think he was? Some kind of loony? Yeah, he was angry, but he was angry at Mother Ara for giving him work detail, at Sister Bren for getting on his case all the time. If they just left him alone, he’d be fine.

Outdoors, Kendi wandered over to a railing and peered down into the green depths of the forest below. Festival flowers and decorations had sprouted on houses, balconies, and walkways everywhere. It was sunny, the first sunny day after a solid week of clouds, and the air was balmy and warm, exactly as it had been on the day he had first arrived on Bellerophon last year. A lot had happened in that time. Kendi had gained several centimeters of height and survived a year of classes without exactly failing any of them. It hadn’t been easy. More than once he had been tempted to take the free one-way passage Mother Ara said he could use whenever he wanted and run off to search for his family. But each time he hadn’t gone through with it. Part of it was practicality-he had no idea where to start looking. There was also the fact that he knew his mother was Silent. The most viable place to find her, it seemed to Kendi, was the Dream, with the Children to help him. That meant working hard to reach the place himself. More than once, however, he lost sight of this and Mother Ara was always there when it happened.

'So what’d she want?' Jeren asked at his elbow. Kendi jumped.

'Don’t do that,' he said. 'All life, you scared the shit out of me.'

Jeren grinned. 'Good. So what’d she want?'

'She wanted me to see a therapist. Like I’m some loony head or something. I told I didn’t have time because of all the work detail she laid on me.'

'Good one,' Jeren said. His green eyes darkened with anger. The white scar still framed his left eye, and he still favored dressing in black leather, even though it was summer. 'My teacher’s been the same way. Wants me to spill my guts to some total stranger and think that’s going to make me a model citizen. Fuck that.'

'Yeah.' Kendi paused. 'So what’ve you got on your plate this afternoon?'

'Besides work detail? More Dream practice, natch.' His grin grew wolfish. 'Yesterday I found this orgy-no lie, guy! Whole group of people rolling around on this giant mattress. I was gonna ask if they’d let me join in-' he groped his crotch '-because I’m hung like a donkey, and I know they’d want it, but my drugs were wearing off and I had to quit. You gotta get there, man.'

Kendi nodded glumly. He didn’t believe half of what Jeren told him about his adventures the Dream, but even so the subject depressed him. Jeren and Kite both had reached the Dream last month. Dorna, of course, was in and out of it all the time. Willa hadn’t gotten there yet, but that didn’t make Kendi feel any less like he was failing. He was one of the Real People. Walking the Dreamtime should be easy for him. Why was it so hard?

Jeren gave him an odd look. 'What’s up with you? Old lady Rymar didn’t get you down, did she? It’s not like we did anything really wrong, no matter what she fucking says.'

'I just don’t want to get into more trouble, Jeren,' Kendi said. 'You can do what you want, but I’m-'

'Hey guys,' said a new voice. 'What’s going on?'

Kendi turned. Pitr Haddis stood behind them, one hand in his pocket. He wore brown from head to foot, and an orange topaz ring graced his finger, indicating he had finished his student training and was now an apprentice to someone ranked Parent or higher. He had earned the ring only last week. Kendi, who was now certified for light aircraft and now took lessons in heavier craft from Toshi, smiled at Pitr. He’d definitely been smart to keep his mouth shut and avoid potential embarrassment. That seemed to be the best policy for this kind of thing.

'We’re bitching about Mother Ara,' Jeren told him.

Kendi punched him on the arm, not hard enough to hurt but too hard to be just friendly. 'We aren’t. You are.'

'Yeah, well maybe you should-'

He never finished. Willa, in her modest brown dress, rushed up to them, face flushed with excitement. Dorna and Kite were right behind her.

'I did it!' Willa shouted. 'You’ll never believe it, but I did it!'

Kendi stared. Willa shouting? 'Did what?'

'She got into the Dream!' Dorna crowed.

A round of congratulations and hugs, including one from Pitr, who barely knew Willa. Kendi himself would barely have recognized her. Her eyes sparkled with energy and happiness and she couldn’t seem to stop smiling. She was completely unlike her normal mouselike self.

'And so close to Festival, too,' Kite said. 'That’s supposed to be good luck.'

'What was it like for you?' Kendi demanded. A finger of jealousy poked at him.

'It’s magic.' Willa leaned on the railing and the soft breeze stirred her fine brown hair. 'You can make whatever you want there. I wanted it to be sunny, and it was sunny. I wanted green grass and I got green grass. It all felt completely real. I want to go back again.'

'Not scared of the Dream killer, huh?' Jeren said with a malicious gleam in his eye.

'Jeren!' Kite said. 'Leave her alone. The Dream killer’s gone. No one’s been attacked for months.'

'Doesn’t mean anything,' Jeren said. 'He might be lying in wait even now, looking for just the right-'

'Let’s talk about something else, yeah?' Dorna interrupted firmly. 'Come on, Willa. We need to celebrate, hey? What do you want to do?'

But Jeren’s remarks had dampened Willa’s excitement. She shrugged and toyed with the ruby student’s ring on her left hand. Kendi glared at Jeren.

'I know,' Dorna continued as if nothing were wrong. 'Shopping! Time to rack up some serious debt. You boys