The Doomsday Vault

a weak smile.

The gates clanged shut, and Alice wordlessly pulled the lever to start their ascension. She didn’t want to be in the lift with Gavin, not now. But it would have been rude to slam the gate shut on him. The lift rumbled as it climbed the shaft.

“Listen,” he said, “I don’t know why you keep pushing me-us-away, but-”

“Did Phipps send you after me?” Alice interrupted.

“No!” He touched her elbow, then quickly withdrew his hand. “I. . I like you, Alice. I missed seeing you all those weeks and months, when I was training and then in the field.”

She folded her arms, partly to conceal that her hands were shaking. “That’s not a proper thing to say to an engaged woman, Mr. Ennock.”

“What happened to Gavin?” He shifted uncomfortably, and his leather jacket creaked. “Alice, I’m not trying to be a. . a cad. But we can be friends. Why do you believe everyone is so suspicious all the time?”

The words spilled out of her with unexpected vehemence that filled the lift with hot oil. “Because everyone is suspicious, Gavin. Everyone is waiting to think the worst. I watched it happen to my family after the clockwork plague took my brother and mother and crippled my father. Rather than try to help us, our former friends shunned us because they blamed us. They don’t trust me. I don’t trust me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Mr. Ennock, if I work with you, I won’t be able to. . to keep my distance. You know why.”

“Do I?” His voice was thick.

“You do.” A lump formed in Alice’s throat. “And when my control breaks-as I know damned well it will, Gavin-the harpies will be waiting to pounce. They’ll tear me to shreds with their nasty claws and spread my heart and lungs to dry in the sun. I won’t let that happen, Mr. Ennock. I won’t. Too much is at stake.”

He looked her up and down with those damnable blue eyes, and she knew he was seeing through her. “That isn’t all of it,” he said.

“It is.”

“No.” Gavin yanked a lever, and the lift halted with a clank. Somewhere, a faint alarm bell rang, but he ignored it. “In the end, it has nothing to do with me. Tell me the rest.”

She looked around in desperation, wanting to flee, but there was only the cage. “I’ve as much as told you how much I-There isn’t any more.”

“No.” His face was stony, but his jaw trembled. “Your face changed when you were talking about blame. Tell me about that, Alice. We have lots of time now.”

“I–I don’t-”

“Alice, when the pirates took my ship and killed my captain and my best friend and flogged my back and. . tried to do other things, I blamed myself. I thought it was my fault for a long time. I hate the pirates, Alice. I hate the horrible things they did to me, and I hate this dirty city they dropped me in. But now-just this moment, just now-I realized that if they hadn’t done those things, I would never have met you. I would be so unhappy and not even know it.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “Bad things happen sometimes. That’s just the way the world works. But sometimes bad things send us in a good direction. None of it was my fault. None of it was your fault. It wasn’t.”

“You don’t even know what it was,” Alice choked.

He touched her face with the back of one finger as the alarm continued to shrill in the distance. “Then tell me.”

“They did blame me, and it was my fault.”

“What was?”

Words spilled out of her. “When I was little, I managed to slip away from my governess and got outside the walls of our garden. It was so much fun! I found a group of street children, and they let me play with them in exchange for the ribbons in my hair. My parents were frantic, as you can probably imagine. My mother thought a child-snatcher had taken me for ransom or to steal my clothes. Near sunset, Lady Greenfellow, of all people, happened to be riding by in her carriage and saw me with those children. It was bad enough that a baron’s daughter was playing with street urchins, but, worse still, a plague zombie was rummaging around in a dustheap not far from where we were playing. We didn’t even notice. Lady Greenfellow snatched me away and delivered me home. Everyone was horrified, and I was spanked. Only a few days later, fever struck my brother and both my parents. My mother and brother. .” Tears choked her voice, but the words continued to flow. It was the first time she had ever told this story to anyone, and once she started, she found she couldn’t stop.

“They died,” she finished. “My father survived, but he was crippled. When the news came out, people whispered. Lady Greenfellow had seen a plague zombie only a few yards away from me, so everyone knew.”

“Knew what?” Gavin’s eyes were filled with sympathy, and Alice couldn’t bear to meet them.

“That it was my fault!” she exploded. “The zombie had brushed against me, or I had touched something it had contaminated, and I brought the plague into my family’s house. And later, Father arranged for me to marry Frederick, the son of an earl, but then he took sick and died of the plague, and that was my fault, too. It was all my fault.” Tears were dripping off her chin. She fumbled in her dress pocket and belatedly realized she had no handkerchief. Gavin pressed one into her hand. She thanked him and turned her back to wipe her face in an attempt to get herself back under control. The faint alarm bell continued its shrill, unhappy cry.

Two strong arms encircled her from behind, engulfing her with strength and the smell of leather. “It’s all right,” Gavin murmured. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was,” she whispered. “Oh God, it was. And now I’ve finally earned my way back into society’s good graces. I’m engaged to a proper man, and I’ll live in a proper house, and I’ve finally begun to pay back my father for bringing the plague into his house and killing my family and making everyone say dreadful things. I won’t give them a chance to say those things again, Gavin. I won’t. That’s why I can’t ever be with. . why I can’t join the Third Ward.”

He said, “I understand.”

His arms were still wrapped around her. For a moment, Alice let herself relax against his male strength, let herself imagine that this moment would go on forever. She felt safe here. Then she straightened and stepped from him. He let his arms drop.

“I need to go.” She handed him back his handkerchief. “Start the lift before someone panics.”

He did. They emerged at the main floor and found a small crowd of people looking anxiously at them.

“We’re all right,” Gavin said. “Small malfunction, I guess.”

“I guess,” said Simon d’Arco. He looked between Alice and Gavin as the crowd dispersed. “Miss Michaels looks a bit upset.”

“I’ll be all right.” Alice forced a smile. “Agent Ennock offered to summon a cab for me.”

Outside, the chilly fog surrounded them like a damp fist. Alice could barely make out the street from the gate and heard only the clopping of hooves and rattle of wheels on the stones, both of them slow and cautious. It was perfect plague zombie weather, which meant everyone who could stayed indoors, but two English institutions-the Royal Mail and London carriage drivers-were famous for ignoring the plague zombie threat and making their services available at all times. A hack was waiting just outside the gate, in fact, and whether it had been there all along or whether someone had summoned it for her, Alice didn’t much care.

Gavin offered her a hand into the cab, and she felt as if she were leaving home instead of heading toward it. He shut the door and suddenly leaned through the open side window. The driver checked the horses.

“Listen,” Gavin said. “The first thing I bought for myself when I got my salary was a pair of standing tickets to the symphony at the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane. The orchestra plays twice a month, and the next performance is tomorrow. Come with me. As my friend.”

“I can’t, Gavin.” She didn’t think her heart could stand being torn so often and still keep beating. “Please don’t ask again. It hurts too much.”

He reached for her hand, then pulled back when she shied away. The damp invaded the cab and clung to her skirts. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“I need to go,” Alice whispered. “Norbert is worried.”

Gavin’s eyes were bright. “He is. I know he is.” He stepped back from the hack, and the driver clicked to the horses. Alice had to turn and watch him as the cab pulled away. In seconds, the fog devoured Gavin in whiteness, and he was gone.