way.
“Thanks,” he said. “I’m okay now.”
As Kendi expected, Ben moved away, though he didn’t get off the bed. He turned sideways to face Kendi. Kendi could still feel the warm stripe of Ben’s body heat on his back and side.
“What happened to you?” Ben asked, his voice carefully neutral. For a third time, Kendi explained. As he spoke, it dawned on him that this was an historical event. No one had ever been pulled into the Dream like this. It would probably be best to write a report or something so other people could read it or he’d end up repeating it even on his deathbed. The Grandparent Adepts back on Bellerophon would certainly want the details, and Kendi should record them before they faded even from Kendi’s trained memory.
“Kendi, do you hear me?” came Harenn’s voice from the intercom as he finished.
“I’m here,” he said. “And even in one piece. Are you with Sejal?”
“Yes. He woke up a few minutes ago, so I am assuming Mother Ara and the others showed him how to exit the Dream. Physically he seems to be fine.”
“Thanks,” Kendi said, relieved. “I’ll come down and check on him as soon as I can. Peggy-Sue, close intercom.”
Silence fell over the room.
“Can you stand up?” Ben asked.
“I don’t want to try yet,” Kendi said. “I don’t know why I’m so…off-balance. I shouldn’t be.”
“Psychosomatics?” Ben hazarded. “You usually use drugs to reach the Dream, but this time you didn’t. Something’s different, so you figure you should be off-kilter and that means you are.”
“Maybe.” Kendi inhaled deeply, exhaled hard, experimentally waved a hand in front of his face. Everything seemed to be working all right, but his knees felt a little weak. “Thanks for coming by. I really appreciate it.”
Ben shrugged. Another moment of silence passed.
“Ben-” Kendi began.
“No, Kendi.”
Kendi started to protest, then halted. He looked away, his jaw working in and out. His throat felt tight. He dropped his eyes and picked at the bedspread.
“You promised we’d talk later,” Kendi said softly. “It’s later, Ben. I know you still…care. I can tell. So tell me why you made me leave.”
Ben remained stonily mute, though he made no move to get up. Kendi didn’t look at Ben’s face, afraid Ben would bolt if he did, though he could see Ben’s hands resting on his crossed legs.
“Is it something to do with Ara?” he asked. “Something she said?”
No answer.
“Have you found someone else?” This question was hard to ask, and Kendi kept his eyes down.
Still no answer. Small relief.
“Is it because I’m a Child of Irfan?”
One hand made a shrugging motion.
“You don’t like that I’m a Child?”
Smaller shrugging motion.
A knot grew in Kendi’s stomach, but he said the words. “Ben, if you asked me to, I’d leave the-”
“No you wouldn’t,” Ben interrupted, and this time Kendi did look up. Ben’s blue eyes were flat, and a thread of anger touched Kendi.
“What do you mean by that?” he demanded.
Ben exhaled sharply. “Look Kendi, do you know why I work for the Children? Even though I’m not Silent?”
“Because your mother’s an Ad-” Kendi started, then stopped. “You’re going to say that’s not the reason why.”
“You’re right.” Ben licked his lips. “Have you got any idea what it’s like growing up the only non-Silent member of a Silent family?”
Kendi mutely shook his head.
“It means you’re alone a lot.” Ben’s blue eyes drifted. “Mom was always running here and there, tracking down or saving Silent. Nana and Papa were busy, too, even though they’re supposed to be semi-retired. Aunt Sil and Uncle Hazid and my cousins-they’re all Silent. I’m the outsider. The freak who can’t reach the Dream.”
Kendi grabbed Ben’s pale hand with his dark one. “Hey-you aren’t a freak. If anything, the Silent are freaks.”
“Not in my family,” Ben said bitterly. “When we were younger, my cousins made fun of me behind the adults’ backs. My aunt and uncle and grandparents treated me like I was semi-retarded or something. When I got older, my cousins looked-still look-at me with pity or contempt. They’re always in the Dream or planning their next trip into it. Mom, too.”
Kendi realized Ben hadn’t pulled his hand away and took it as a good sign. “So why work for the Children?”
“At least this way I can do something. You want a computer hacked? An engine repaired? A ship piloted? I’m your man. You want a Dream, call someone who counts.”
“You count to me,” Kendi said seriously. “And you count to your mom. I love you and need you, Ben. You keep me grounded in the real world. You stay serious when I get stupid.”
“I can’t follow you, Kendi,” Ben said in a flat voice. “The Dream calls and you have to answer. So does Mom and everyone else.”
“And you think you can’t compete,” Kendi finished with sudden insight. “Ben, that’s bullshit. You’re more important to me than-”
“It doesn’t matter, Kendi,” Ben said. He set Kendi’s hand aside. “I can’t wait for you on the sidelines. I won’t be the spouse who waits for you to come home from something I can’t understand.”
Ben got up and started for the door, leaving an empty space on the bed. Kendi’s stomach lurched. He knew that once Ben walked through that door that any hope of a future with him would end. He wanted to grab Ben, snatch him back and hold him. The yearning filled him until it was a physical pain. The door slid open.
And then Kendi knew what to say.
“What if you could go into the Dream?” he said.
Ben halted and turned. “What?”
“Sejal pulled me into the Dream,” Kendi said. “What if he could do the same for you?”
“I’m not Silent, Kendi.” But a haunted look stole over Ben’s handsome face. Excitement rose. Kendi scooted to the edge of the bed and got to his feet. His legs were steady now. It was going to be all right. Sejal would take Ben into the Dream, and Ben would finally see what it was like. His family problems would be over, and he could move back in with Kendi. They would be together again. Kendi’s heart sang with joy.
“Genetically you are Silent,” Kendi reminded him urgently. “What if all you need to reach the Dream is a jump-start? I’ll bet Sejal could do it. You could start training, even be a Brother. What about that?”
Ben stared wide-eyed, like a deer frozen in a spotlight. Then he turned and fled the room.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
FROM SEJAL’S JOURNAL DAY 5, MONTH 11, COMMON YEAR 987
After Mother Ara got me out of the Dream, Harenn showed up at my room to examine me. I could hardly sit still for her on the bed. I had entered the Dream! I was pumped full of energy and I wanted to do it again and I didn’t want Harenn around spoiling the feeling for me. I hadn’t forgotten that she was the bitch who’d told Mom about me tricking, and now she was sitting on the chair in my room with Kendi’s readout unit on her lap.
“You have done something unprecedented,” she said. “There will be much excitement when we arrive at Bellerophon. You must be ready for that.”
That set off an alarm bell. I saw myself standing in front of a big crowd of Silent who all stared at me like
