The Delta in charge chose another Alpha, a young woman, for the Confessional. She sat down, nervously gathering her voluminous yellow trousers around her.
'You reek of impurity,' the Delta intoned. 'The N-waves radiate from your mind and spread your filth to all those around you. You must rid yourself of these things. Confess!'
The Alpha twisted her hands in her lap, refusing to look up.
'What impurities have you committed?' the Delta demanded.
'I guess I… I envied Dreamer Roon his ability to enter the Dream so easily.'
'Impure!'
'I wanted more food.'
'Impure!'
The relentless confessions continued. Most of the Alphas broke down crying, and each got a small snack cake. Martina found herself shouting and pointing with full enthusiasm. At first the fervor had been pretended, an attempt to blend in, but the ritual gesture and shout began to take on a life of its own. The words rang through Martina's body, echoing around the bare room and banging against her very bones. The confessions came more readily. Alphas confessed to anger, greed, pride, unhappiness, and lust. One woman said she envied Martina her beauty. At every turn, the word 'Impure' thundered through the room.
Finally Utang was chosen. He sat down without looking at Martina. Indeed, he didn't look at anyone. Misery was carved into his very posture. The Delta called out to him to confess.
'I woke with an erection,' he said. This was a fairly standard confession among the male Alphas by now, though Martina found herself embarrassed again. The sound of his voice also brought her to the edge of tears. It was a sound from her childhood, and one she had thought she'd never hear again.
'Impure!' boomed the circle.
'I disbelieved Dreamer Roon when he said he could enter the Dream without drugs.'
'Impure!'
'I became angry at my Delta.'
'Impure!'
'I… I… ' Utang seemed to cast about for something to confess. 'I had lustful thoughts about that woman,' he said, pointing at one.
A shock cracked through Martina's body. She cried out in pain, as did the other Alphas. Utang stiffened, then went limp with a moan.
'That was a lie,' said the Delta. 'In the Dream there are no untruths, and every lie you tell sends you further away from it than any other impurity. For that reason, all your fellow Alphas have suffered. You do not need to fabricate impurities, Alpha. You have plenty enough to confess.'
Utang opened his eyes. They were glazed with sorrow. Several of the Alphas were rubbing their shackled wrists and glaring at him with undisguised anger. Martina found her own temper rising, though her ire wasn't directed toward Utang.
Utang was guided back to his seat. He sat staring down at his hands while the others continued to glare. The Delta didn't give him a snack cake.
'Your turn, dear,' Delta Maura said with another elbow nudge. Martina was starting to find the woman annoying.
Martina got up and took the central chair. It felt strange. All eyes were on her, even the ones behind her where she couldn't see. Abruptly, she felt vulnerable and alone.
'Confess, Alpha!' barked the Delta. 'What impurities have you committed?'
Martina decided to get it over with. 'I envied the other Alphas their cake.'
'Impure!'
Martina had to force herself not to shrink back into the chair at the shout. It was even louder and more forceful when she was sitting here, alone in the center of the circle. She felt naked despite her voluminous clothing.
'I disbelieved Dreamer Roon's writings,' she said.
'Impure!'
'I questioned the wisdom of Delta Maura.'
'Impure.'
Martina cast about for more. Except for Utang, the other Alphas hadn't been allowed to leave the Confessional until they had confessed to at least four or five impurities. But Martina couldn't think of anything she had done that was impure. There had to be something. Think!
Inspiration struck. 'I wanted to keep track of time.'
'Impure!'
'I tried to disobey my Delta during Dreamer Roon's speech today.'
'Impure!'
'I was proud of the fact that I was keeping my name.' Martina blinked. Where had that come from?
'Impure!'
The word pounded at her body. To her horror, Martina felt a few tears leaking from her eyes. Then she decided to take advantage of it and pretend to be more upset than she already was. She dropped her face into her hands and let her shoulders shake in false despair. The bio-sensors in her slave shackles, the ones that had no doubt caught Utang's lie, wouldn't catch a falsehood she didn't vocalize-she hoped. Besides, the tears wetting her gloves were real.
She felt no shock, and after a moment, a light touch on her shoulder told her she could rise. Delta Maura seated her in the half-circle and gave her a snack cake. Martina tore the wrapping away and wolfed it down. The sugar raced through her, creating a momentary high that mingled with a sense of relief. She felt immeasurably better.
'Confessional has ended,' the Delta said. 'You may stand and speak to one another.'
The Alphas all got up stretched. Martina almost bolted across the circle to Utang, but forced herself to move casually. He met her halfway.
'Martina?' he asked softly.
'All life,' she said, a lump rising in her throat. 'It's me, Keith. Or is it Utang?'
He shook his head. 'The Real People deserted me. I haven't heard either of those names in years.'
'What should I call you, then?' She couldn't believe she was saying something so insipid and mundane.
'Keith.' He reached out to touch her, and a shock coursed through Martina, painful, but not as harsh as the earlier one. Keith snatched his hand back. Suddenly Delta Maura was there, her round face stern.
'Physical contact between the sexes is forbidden,' she said, firmly pushing them apart. 'The gloves are to protect you from it, but they can't shield you from the N-waves such things generate. Hence your punishment.'
They both murmured apologies. When she had walked away, Martina turned back to him and couldn't think of a single thing to say. She still wanted to hug him. Suddenly she needed to touch another human being, skin-to-skin, no gloves, no cloth. Emotion bubbled inside her and tears gathered in her eyes again.
'Don't cry,' he said, his own voice strained. 'I don't think we should let them know about… about who we are. If this is a place of love and trust, I haven't seen it.'
'All life, I feel the same way,' Martina said, then gave a tiny laugh. 'What are the odds? You and me, both still Silent after the Despair and both brought here.'
'The first is more a coincidence than the second,' Keith said with a wan smile of his own. 'These people are gathering us up. Maybe we'll see Mom and Dad. Or Evan. Have you heard from any of them?'
'No. Do you suppose there's any way to-' She stopped herself automatically. All her life, the word escape had earned her a punishing shock from her shackles, and she had learned not to say it. Keith, however, seemed to understand.
'I don't know,' he said tiredly. 'We'll have to keep our eyes open. Assuming that there's any place to… go to in the first place. We could be anywhere-on a planet, a ship, a station, anything. It's hopeless.'
'Time to return to your rooms,' announced a Delta.
'We'll talk again,' Keith said.
As Delta Maura hooded Martina and led her away, she silently swore she would find a way out of this place. There had to be one.
