you want to have a last prayer – I won't allow it! Ha-ha! How we hate you God freaks. Prepare yourself, for the end is at hand.'
'Oh, no, it's not,' John said, appearing suddenly in the middle of the cabin. He was dressed in a spacesuit and was carrying a sack over one shoulder. 'You'll never get away with this conquest, not while I have this!'
He reached into the sack and withdrew a long, red, succulent shape and waved it over his head.
It was a kosher garlic salami!
20
THE SECRET OF THE SALAMI
'Are you out of your mind?' Jerry gasped, speaking for all of them, free to speak for himself again now that the Lortonoi no longer needed him for a mouthpiece.
'Not as mad as you think, Jerry, my boy. When you all tried to attack Pishky, the mad little green turtle Lortonoi, awhile back there, I had the glimmerings of an idea deep down. I acted instantly before Pishky could read my mind and while it was still mostly involved in holding you all off. I suppressed the thought and instead felt immense fear, which, you will understand, was not hard to do. Then I thought of escape, fleeing to the fleet, grabbing a ship and running, yes, I would do that! I turned the cheddite projector on myself, and the Lortonoi, fooled for the moment, let me go. But once back in the fleet, I abandoned all thoughts of flight and set about my real task. I got into a spacesuit and used the cheddite projector to go back to the space battle around the Chachka golden sphere. I almost didn't make it, the battle is raging worse than ever, but I managed to align the projector precisely and made it inside the dome in one jump. After that the rest is obvious. The Chachkas read my mind, discovered what had happened, and upon the instant decided that the time had come at last, after all the millennia, to use Krakar.' He waved the salami again. 'And Krakar is here, within the salami, which is a disguise.'
'Well, it will never be used.' Pishky radiated the powerful thought, and instantly everyone in the ship was frozen. 'Except perhaps by us. Now – hand over that salami, and you, get a knife and let us see what this device looks like.'
But no one moved, despite the waves of thought that radiated out from the bowl where the green turtleLortonoi swam around distractedly. There was a stir from the sack still suspended from John's shoulder and up out of it crawled a familiar, black, cockroach-shaped form that stopped on his shoulder and stared down at the bowl.
'It is Three of the Chachkas!' Chuck shouted. 'We are saved!'
'Yes, you are saved,' the creature said, 'but no, I am not Three but Four. Three was busy. But I can handle this job myself. Know this, Oh, vile Lortonoi, we have been watching your evil race for millennia. Rather we weren't watching you, even our magnificent minds could not penetrate the mind barrier erected around your secret headquarters, but we were watching what you were doing and didn't like it at all. A long time ago we decided that if Krakar were ever used, it would be used against you swine, and our decision has proved correct. Now you have exposed your real identity so we can wage war upon you and destroy you down to the last fragment of shell. . .'
Four's words were interrupted by a bolt of mental energy hurled at it by the creature in the bowl. So great was this thrust that every mind in the ship blacked out for an instant, and all the lights went out as well. Then the emergency lights came on, and they gasped as they saw the burned hole in the carpet where the strength of Four's brain had deflected the bolt.
'That was your turn,' Four said calmly. 'Now it is mine.'
With these words they were locked in silent, mental conflict, giant brain against giant brain. There was a tension in the air that they all sensed, for this was the battle to determine the fate of the galaxy. Who would win? The creatures, fighting turtle, gallant cockroach, seemed equally matched as the seconds, then minutes, flew by and there was no change.
But was there? Why was Pishky swimming around the bowl in that agitated manner and trying to climb up the glass sides? Was that a tiny streamer of vapor rising from the water.
'Great Cacodyl,' Lord Prrsi choked out. 'The Chachka is holding his own in the mental battle, I can detect that, but so mighty is its brain that it is diverting part of its mental energy to heat up the water in the bowl so that it is rapidly approaching the boiling point!'
They watched in frozen silence as the tiny, yet extremely evil creature paddled about furiously as the water began to bubble. The end was not long in coming. There was a mental cry of despair that swept through their minds and then was gone – and with it went that evil presence that had sought to destroy them all.
'We've won,' Jerry said, stepping forward slowly and picking up the bowl. 'Not only that, but we have some turtle soup.'
'If you wanted some sandwiches, though how you could after that big banquet,' Sally said, coming into the room, 'why didn't you wake me and tell me? You know the kind of mess you always make. You want the salami on rye?' she asked, plucking the elongated form from John's fingers and putting it on the cutting board and raising a knife.
'Stop!' a number of voices cried at one time, and stop she did, since every mind capable of mind control was now fighting to control hers and to stop the knife from ascending. She bounced and jiggled, and the knife dropped from her fingers, and John bent and picked up the salami carefully.
'In my hands,' he intoned, 'I hold the fate of the known universe.'
'I thought it was a kosher salami,' Sally said, but no one was listening.
With infinite care, under Four's mental instructions, he removed the skin and carefully made a long slice into the meat. Then, slowly and carefully, he reached into the opening and took out Krakar.
'If you hadn't told me, I wouldn't have believed it!' Jerry said, his jaw dropping loosely.
'Me neither!' Chuck agreed.
'It looks like a spray can of oven cleaner,' Sally said, unimpressed.
'Its physical shape does not matter,' Four said in no uncertain terms. 'For this is Krakar!'
'Could you tell us how it works – and quickly?' John said, eyeing the subspatial radar. 'Because the combined fleets of the Fligigleh are now coming this way at full blast'
'I cannot possibly explain to your childish minds how the device works, though of course there is a wiring diagram painted on the can. But I can tell you how to operate it and what it does. You hold it on one hand and point the orifice at the enemy and press the plastic button on top.'
'I told you, just like stove cleaner spray,' Sally said, but was glared into silence by the others and left the cabin, miffed.
'What Krakar is is a temporal catalyst that unites its target with the time flow that sweeps through the universe. But it unites it backward to the normal flow so that a blockade is set up. Well, as you know, nothing can stand against the time flow so the blockade instantly becomes a temporal tornado that whirls faster and faster and sucks in all matter for a couple of light-years in every direction as it gathers speed; then, when it hits top revolutions, it blasts through the fabric of time itself and hurtles in reverse for approximately thirty-one trillion years. . . .'
'The figure is exact?' Chuck asked.
'Of course.'
'Big bang?'
'Obviously, and I am pleased that at least one entity here knows what the hell I am talking about I can see by your bulging eyes and hanging jaws that I had better supply a little more detail. Not only must Krakar be used against a mortal enemy of the galaxy, but it must be used, and at that only used once. So you see why we were so careful about it Because the fleet of ships hurled into the past will pick up temporal energy on the way, and when it emerges at that early date it will explode with a really big bang and that will be the birth of the universe. I'll leave you to ponder on the philosophical permutations of that for a bit while I install this mind screen.' He dived back into the bag that John was still holding and emerged with a black sphere from which sprang a length of cord and a two pronged plug. 'You got a hundred-and-ten-volt outlet here?'
John pointed it out, then climbed out of his spacesuit to help him plug it in. The Chachka made delicate
