‘You wouldn’t mind?’ Slider was amazed and touched.
‘I love your dad.’
‘But it’s different having him to live with us.’
‘Well, it’d be the other way round, really, since the money would be his.’
He kissed her brow tenderly. ‘Thank you for the thought. I’m glad you like the old man that much. But you don’t know that he’d want to live with us.’
‘I think he would. He was hinting that he’d like to move closer to us.’
‘Closer and with aren’t the same thing. But anyway, that cottage can’t be worth much – not enough to buy somewhere in London, let alone something big enough for the four of us.’
‘Oh well,’ she said comfortably, ‘we’ll just have to stay put. At least we’ve got a roof over our heads. People in past times lived in small spaces and shared rooms.’
‘People in past times had surgery without anaesthetic.’
‘Not the same thing. I think we’ve just got too nice. We’re all going to have to trim our nails if the recession gets bad.’
‘Hmm.’
She could feel he had relaxed, and the ‘hmm’ was much more contented than the first one. They were silent a moment, and then she thought of something that infallibly relaxed him and put him to sleep afterwards. She laid her lips against his ear, and whispered, ‘How would you feel about a close encounter of the marital kind?’
‘Hmm,’ he murmured into her neck. And one second later she felt the infinitesimal thud as he fell off the cliff of consciousness and into the void of sleep. It was that quick when you were as tired as he was. Smiling in the darkness, she held him until he was deep enough under for her to release herself without waking him, then turned over into her own sleep position.
TWENTY
You Must Remember This; A Kiss is Still a Coordinated Interpersonal Labial Spasm
Tufnell ‘Tufty’ Arceneaux, who described himself as ‘The Bodily Fluids Man’ with more than a coincidental accuracy, rang Slider as soon as he was at his desk in the morning. ‘Bill, old chum!’ he roared (everything about Tufty was larger than life). ‘How’s the world treating you? How’s the wife? How’s the nipper?’
‘He’s great fun,’ Slider said. ‘He’s just started crawling.’
‘That’ll be useful training for later life! Especially if he wants to get on in the police force.’
‘We’re not allowed to call it that. It’s the police service now.’
‘Makes you sound like a lot of bloody tennis players.’
‘How’s Diana? Is she enjoying the job?’ Tufty’s wife had recently gone back to work in an advertising agency.
‘Loves it. A prank a minute. They’ve just taken on a new product, Galaxy-type chocolate bar called Destiny. She put up a whole folder, artwork and everything, with the slogan “It’s the Destiny that shapes our ends”. Did it with a straight face,’ he concluded admiringly.
‘They’ll sack her if she’s not careful.’
‘Oh, no, they love her. All the others are under twenty-five. She’s the only one who can spell. Anyway, I’ve pulled every digit out of every orifice, done the impossible, and got all your analyses done.’
‘All of them? That’s amazing,’ Slider said. ‘I thought I’d have to wait until Monday at least.’
‘What are you talking about? I’ve had them since Tuesday.’
‘I know you had the first ones on Tuesday, but Freddie only sent the foetal tissue on Thursday.’
‘I can do it in thirty-six hours when I have to. Come to think of it, I’ve done it
‘Well, I’m very grateful.’
‘Special service for my old and bestest chum. Fact is, when the foetal tissue came in, I thought there’s no point in the one lot without t’other, so I got on with it without waiting for you to fast-track. Now, if that doesn’t warrant an invite to dinner with you and your charming mate, I don’t know what does.’
‘Absolutely as soon as I’ve got this case sorted out, we’ll do it,’ Slider said, thinking doubtfully of how easy it would be to fit Tufty’s large frame and its even more enormous appetite into Joanna’s small sitting room, where the only table was.
‘Excellent, old chum-bum. Nosh-date, potential, duly noted in the almanac. Now, regarding your samples – the foetal tissue does
‘Carmichael is not the father?’
‘Not in those trousers. Have you got anyone else you want me to check it against?’
‘Not yet, but I hope to very soon.’
‘Ah, a hot suspect in the offing, eh?’
‘What about DNA from the tights and the chain?’
‘Couldn’t get anything from the tights, just a few of the victim’s own skin cells. But there was a trace of blood and a few cells on the chain. I managed to work it up, and we have a match between that and the foetal DNA. Whoever cut his hand on the chain was also the baby’s progenitor. I’d say father but it doesn’t seem a very fatherly act to kill the mother, now does it?’
‘Not when I was a boy scout. Thanks, Tufty. That’s a great help.’
‘Let me know when you’ve got something to match it against, and I’ll put it through on the express till. Five items or less. You’ve got room in your basket. Well, back to the grindstone. Dyb dyb, old horse.’
‘Dob dob,’ Slider responded absently, his mind already on the next thing.
Porson was late in, having gone to Hammersmith first, straight from home, and he was still inhaling his first mug of coffee when Slider arrived at his door.
‘Good news, sir,’ he said.
‘I’m up for that,’ Porson said.
Slider told him about the DNA typing, and went on, ‘And we’ve just had the phone records back, for Carmichael’s home phone and Tyler Burton’s mobile. The number Zellah called from each was the same. It was Alex Markov’s.’
Porson put down his mug so sharply a slurp of coffee sprang over the rim. ‘Bloody hell, that’s a relief,’ he said, giving himself away completely.
‘That’s how I felt, sir,’ Slider admitted. A theory’s all very well, but one is as good as another until you get something solid to back it up. ‘And we’ve got a good possibility the car under the bridge was his. Same make and colour, anyway, though it’s a pity we haven’t got a reg number.’
‘Plus he lied to you about not having a car,’ Porson added, dragging a handkerchief from his pocket and mopping the spilled coffee with it. His wife was dead and he did his own laundry now, Slider reflected. ‘Right, how do you want to proceed?’
‘I need to get a DNA sample from him so I can check it against the foetus and the sample from the chain,’ he said.
‘You could arrest him,’ Porson said, stuffing the handkerchief back into his pocket. ‘You’ve got enough to be going on with.’
‘I’ve been thinking about it, sir,’ Slider said, ‘and I’d like to get him to come in voluntarily, get him relaxed and then catch him unawares. I think with the right handling we could get a confession out of him, and that would make things much easier.’
Porson nodded. ‘I’m all for that. But how are you going to get him to come in?’
‘I think I know how,’ Slider said.
‘Well, go to it, laddie, and best of luck. It’d be good to get this cleared up today. Mr Wetherspoon was asking me questions this morning. He’s got a new protege he’d like to parachute into a front-line unit for experience. If it comes our way I want to refuse, but I need a bit of leverage to fight it off, and a quick result in the hand is worth a nod to a blind horse.’
‘Absolutely, sir,’ said Slider. ‘I’ll do my best.’
