gray-red haze taking over my vision, the ringing in my ears.
This light-headedness was more like the breathless rush
that comes just before orgasm, when every muscle
clenches. When the body takes over and nothing the mind
can do wil stop the inevitable.
It was synchronicity again, or maybe serendipity. Like
when you've never heard a word before and suddenly you
see it in every book you read, or how you've been craving
ice cream and the ice-cream truck rounds the corner just
before you go inside. Three men, similar but different. I
might not have noticed a few months ago, but now it was
al I could see. The notes had done that. Opened my eyes
to that need. Theirs and mine, too.
Last night, learning about Eric had rocked my world. This
morning, discovering I was about to lose my lists had done
it again. But now, just now, with Paul, I'd learned
something so basic it had been with me al along. Only like
something so basic it had been with me al along. Only like
Dorothy with the Scarecrow, Tin Woodsman and
Cowardly Lion, I simply hadn't seen it. I thought of lists
and notes and what they meant to me. And what I wanted.
And I knew what I had to do.
'Paige.' Miriam gave me a broad, crimson-lipped grin. 'So nice to see you. What can I do for you today? A gift for
someone?'
'No. Today I came in for myself.'
I looked to the shelf where the boxes of ink, pens and
papers had been, but they were gone. Miriam came
around the counter and saw me looking. She tugged gently
on my sleeve.
'In the back. Come with me.' She'd set the boxes on an
eye-level shelf, each displayed with its lid open to show off
the papers inside. 'Not so many people wil see these
back here, but if they take the time to look, I believe they
wil be unable to resist.'
I already knew the one I wanted. Red lacquer with blue
and purple accents. The paper inside bore the watermark
and purple accents. The paper inside bore the watermark
of a dragonfly, and there was enough to last a number of
weeks even if I wrote a letter on it every day. The brush-
and-ink set interested me less. I didn't intend to write in
caligraphy.
'This one.' I closed the lid and slid the smal wooden clasp through the loop of ribbon to keep it shut. I turned to
Miriam and stopped at the look on her face. 'What?'
'I knew you would find something to write on that paper,
that's al.' She was already leaving the room and gestured
over her shoulder for me to folow.
The box was heavier than it looked because of the marble
stamper, also featuring a dragonfly, and the porcelain
