Austin did cal me, but he seemed to have meant what he
said about agreeing to just be friends. I hadn't forgotten
what it was like to hang on the phone with him for hours, in
the dark, revealing every second of the day just to have a
reason to keep talking. Our current conversations were
reason to keep talking. Our current conversations were
shorter than that, but they reminded me of back then.
Things on the Eric front were more complicated. I'd seen
him a few times since our dinner date. Another dinner, out
to the movies, walks along the river. Things like that.
Conflicting schedules had made it impossible to see him al
the time. Besides, I wasn't 'that' girl. The one who took
one date and turned it into a marriage proposal.
We were moving slowly, slowly. Glaciers. And that was
fine with me. I'd seen interest flicker in his eyes, watched
him watching my mouth when I spoke. Felt his fingers
tighten in mine as we walked.
I knew he was waiting for me to make the first move, or to
be told to make one, himself. I wasn't quite ready to do
either. As Paige, I was enjoying the whole taking-it-slow
thing.
As his anonymous mistress, on the other hand, I had
complete control of his life.
Each day I sat at my kitchen table with that Chinese box
open in front of me, my pen stroking that thick, creamy
paper with the touch of a lover. I didn't come from the
writing. Not quite. But each note I wrote put me into a
state of heightened awareness of every piece of me. My
fingers, closing around the pen. My palms, caressing the
paper. The inside of my wrist, my elbow, forearm pressing
the table as I wrote. My thighs, touching beneath my skirt.
I didn't come from writing the notes, but it was almost as
good as if I had.
I told him what to wear. What to pack for lunch. He had,
at last, given up smoking. I ordered him to buy me lingerie,
and I gave him the size but alowed him to choose. I had
him send it to the post-office box I rented from a branch
close to my office. I expected something in black.
Crotchless, maybe, or at least with fishnets. The soft, baby
blue satin and lace pleased me.
I let him stroke himself to orgasm for that gift.
It was time for something more now. I wasn't sure how I
