'Paris.'
'No, Paige,' my mom said as though I'd been serious. 'My car! I'm driving to the mal!'
'You're talking and driving? Mom, you do know that's
ilegal in the city of Lebanon. You'd better hang up. You'l
get a ticket!' Not to mention my mom's driving was
haphazard even when she wasn't distracted by a phone.
'You're missing the point, Paige. The point is, I'm caling
you from my own cel phone!'
'Ah.' I should've guessed it was something bright and
shiny that she'd caled to tel me. 'Congratulations.
Welcome to the milennium.'
She ignored my far-from-subtle sarcasm. 'Leo bought it
for me. Isn't he the sweetest?'
As boyfriends went, Leo was one of the better ones.
Being older might have been part of it, though with his big
Being older might have been part of it, though with his big
beer bely and long beard there was no question he was as
rough a biker as any guy my mom had ever dated. He stil
rode his Harley to work and sported a line of faded
tattoos on each arm, but he was melower than some of
the younger guys she'd dated.
'That was nice of him.'
'So now I can cal you al the time! And text. I can text
you, too, if I can figure out how.'
'Oh, joy.' I dug into the junk drawer for a pen and some
paper and paused when I puled out the yelow legal pad.
My scant list of flaws and strengths stared out at me, and I
forgot to speak.
'Paige?'
'What's your number?' I put that list aside and poised to
take down the number.
'I.D.K.,' my mom said airily.
'Huh?'
'I.D.K.,' she repeated. 'Geez, Paige. Don't you know
'I.D.K.,' she repeated. 'Geez, Paige. Don't you know
what I.D.K. means? It means ‘I don't know.''
'I know what it means. I just didn't think you did. Besides,
Mom, nobody talks like that out loud. It's just textspeak.'
'L.O.L.,' my mom said.
'M.O.M.,' I said.
We both laughed.
'Also, listen,' she said, but didn't say anything else.
'I'm listening.'
'Guess who I ran into the other day.'
'With your car?'
'You,' my mom said, 'are a smart-ass.'
'I.D.K., who'd you run into?'
She paused. I waited for the sound of crunching glass and
metal, but she must've just been puling into a slot rather
than ramming into a phone pole.
