it's too sweet.'
'What's wrong?' I asked more quietly this time, and this
time, she put down the bowl to answer me.
'Leo moved out.'
My mom had been with countless men during my lifetime.
Some had been boyfriends. Some had been dates. Only a
few had been live-ins, and out of al of them, Leo had
lasted the longest. I didn't expect to be so surprised he'd
gone.
'Why?'
'I asked him to.' My mom waved a hand as she dug in the
drawer for a rubber spreader.
Above us, the floor creaked as Arty ran around. I looked
upward and said, 'I'l go.'
'Thanks, hon.'
Upstairs, I wrangled my brother into the bathroom to
Upstairs, I wrangled my brother into the bathroom to
brush his teeth, then into bed. I tucked him in tight and
gave him half a dozen hugs and just as many kisses. I held
him close. Now he smeled like popcorn and little-boy
sweat, not candy.
'Go to sleep, monster.'
He protested, yawning, that he wasn't tired, but his eyes
were already closing as I ducked out the door. I stood in
the hal for a few minutes, my own eyes closed. I'd never
lived in this house, but it smeled the same as al the places
I'd ever lived with my mom. Dust and chocolate brownies
and, fainter, below it al, the subtle odor of never-quite-
good-enough.
Downstairs, my phone vibrated again in my pocket. I
clapped a hand over it to stifle the buzz, which sounded
like a fly in a bottle. My mom had iced the brownies and
wrapped up half the pan in aluminum foil for me to take
along. She didn't mention the phone cal, and I didn't try to
refuse the food.
She hugged me on the way out the front door, her grip
fiercer than usual. 'Drive carefuly, sweet girl.'
My retort to that had been, 'No, Mom, I plan on driving
recklessly,' but tonight I kept those words inside. I hugged
her back as hard as she hugged me. She didn't have to be
crying for me to know she was upset about Leo. The
brownies had told me that.
'I'l cal you tomorrow, okay?' I said into her hair, which
smeled as always of Apple Pectin Shampoo.
She nodded. When she stepped away her eyes were
bright but she smiled. 'Sure, honey. Good night.'
She stood silhouetted in the doorway until I drove away.
By the time I reached the railroad tracks the light on the
front porch had gone out. My car
